How do I stop?

Like 3 months ago I tried to O.D. on pills. Then I told my best friend, and he made me feel bad for doing it. He was like "I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you!" He also made me prommise not to do it again. I prommised him I wouldn't, but like in the last few months I've been thinking about trying to O.D. again. I know it is wrong but I just can't help it. And I've even been taking some of my mother's perscription pills. (Well I only did that twice). The first time I only got a headache, and 2 nights ago I took one of her sleeping pills, and when I woke up I felt tired and nausious and had a headache, but only for a short period of time. I promised that I didn't want to feel like that again and that I wouldn't do that again, but I just don't know. I really feel like I want to take every pill I own. I don't even know why I want to. Maybe I want to O.D. or maybe I just want to feel"bad".
I havn't told my parents or anyone for that matter. (My best friend only knows about the first time 3 months ago). I really don't want to tell them, but I also don't want to continue to feel like I want pills (like I do). What should I do? Is there a way to handle this without leting anyone find out?

I kno. Thats what I was afraid of. I just don't want her mad at me, and to never trust me with anything again (because I can be trusted except for that, and I don't want her to think that I can't). But I guess I have to do, what I have to do.

I think that you should try to tell your friend. (or your mom, whoever you feel more comfortable telling) I know it seems hard but he obviously cares a lot to have said that. He didn't mean to make you feel bad, and if you are feeling like this a lot it is important to let someone know.
It is hard when you have broken a promise like this, but you have to try to expain your reasons so he understands and hopefully help you to undestand too.
I don't think this is the kind of thing that you can do on your own. This is just what I think, I hope that you find a way to handle this.

*VioletRaven*

Didn't read it...don't want to get sick

My advice....STOP!!! COLD TURKEY!! Before you're a cold turkey....And I mean that 100% true and sincere!

take it from me, its best to tell someone, no matter who it is otherwise you could end up having a break down in a public place and then your parents will find out anyway Eventualy when my mum found out, she told me that she would rarther know than not. she was a bit upset but she wasnt angry with me. she trusts me still so does everyone one else who knows me.

I haven't told my mom yet, or my friend, I just don't know how. I'm going to try to help myself before I tell anyone anyways. I think it would be best. I want to see what I can do...but if I can't then I'll tell them. Like everytime I want to take pills I will just do something else to get my mind off of it or I could just like eat something or chew on gum or something so my mouth is busy, then I won't feel like taking the pills as much. I don't know if any of that will work but if it doesn't then I'll tell them.

I do think that it's great you want to help yourself, but I still feel that letting someone know is very important. If you are in that forsaken place where you do want to end it then having someone know can make all the difference in the world.
They will help you get over this, I know it doesn't seem like you want to tell them but trust me on this, if there is someone who you can talk to, or just someone who will ask how you are doing it can turn the situation around.

I kno...I'm just scared.

Yeah, I know you want to help yourself, I did to when I had my addiction problems, but the best way to help yourself is to admit there is something wrong with you and admit that you need help. That is the best way to help yourself. Yes it is scary and no it might not be fun, but from what it sounds like the situation you are going through right now isn't good either. It really can't get any worst. What if you take too many and die? Would you mean to? Many teen suicides about 35-40% are on accident from dabbing around in things like this and messing up or going too far or too much. If you can't tell your mom, tell you guidance counselor at school and she can get you guys together. You are struggling and the best aid to that is support and the proper help. You can't do this on your own, it is not weakness to ask for help, it is prideful not to. Everyone has rough spots in their lives, and we need the help of others to do it. You guidance counselor will know who to send you to to help you. I mean think about it this way, if you parents somehow find out then you will loose their trust forever. I used to cut myself pretty bad and tried to commit suicide. The people I confided in were my best friend Emilee and my Boyfriend. Thanks to that I lost the love of my life. Young people don't know how to deal with things like this, and maybe your parents don't either, but they can send you to someone who does so you can love life again. Best of luck to you babe and if you need me, you know where I am . . . HERE!

-Tainted Mikochan

www.mental_wellbeing.co.uk
help with anything :)
love always
georgi