Fallen for a guy I REALLY can't have...

Ugh, I’ve done it again! I’ve fallen in love with a man I can’t have. Except unfortunately for me he’s gay. Jordan and I have just recently become good friends and have gotten together a few times and call and talk constantly. He says he’s BI but in a different respect then you’d think. He says he really likes being in relationships with men better but would like to marry a girl to keep his family name going. Often we have deep talks about what we want in a relationship and they’re exactly the same! I know he’s sort of gay but I can’t help but love him. He doesn’t act gay in the least and one would never guess that he is, and currently only about 4 people other than his ex boyfriends know he’s gay. I go to bed almost in tears just wishing he were mine cause everything he does is perfect. He and I are going as friends to a Valentines Day dance but he’s never really hinted that he likes me in the least. Yet I can just see him and I working perfectly together. In his eyes I can actually see a future. I’ve mentioned a few times “Oh if you weren’t gay I’d totally date you” and just random sort of joking stuff like that. It’s definitely sort of been let out there that I like him…. But I don’t know if he realizes. He often flirts with me but then again he’s sort of gay so he flirts with everyone in that sort of manor. He calls me a lot but I’m pretty sure it’s out of friendship. I wish I could just tell him that I love him but I can’t, I don’t want things to get weird between us because we already have a very good relationship. Has anyone else gone with low to having someone they can never have? Like falling in love with a gay guy?

Well, the guy I like has a girlfriend...But I've never liked a gay guy...But I'm so sorry that that had to happen to you...It must really suck.