suicidal

i'm really suicidal. i don't know what to do, if i don't want to do it or what. i'm thinking it over everyday i'm alive. it just gets so hard, i feel like i let everyone down. like i'm no good. even my parents. my band teacher everyone. i can't take it anymore. i'm just so confused. it's like i get happy then i feel suddenly sad. i've tried different things, cutting, attempting, counseling. i just get more and more confused. why do i feel like this. i want answers but no one has them. i can't trust anyone. not even my friends. b/c i don't want them to know about it this time. i want to hide it that way they won't worry. every time i bring it up, they end up crying and stuff. i hate it. somebody help me!

What makes you think you can trust us, if you can't even trust your own friends?

I've said this once before somewhere on some thread, and I'm gonna say this again.

We're not professionals. Get it? Good.

We can't help you help yourself. You need physical contact with people, not words. Talk to them, they'll listen.

~Atomic

no one is a professional. they all have issues. my friends do the same thing over and over again when this happens. maybe hearing something different from someone else will help. that's all. and i do talk to them. i just hide it that way they don't worry. i don't want to hurt them. it's something i do too much.

Aww, am I suppose to give you sympathy now?

Yes, there are some professionals out there, hence the professionals called psychologists.

Psychologist don't just help people who are "crazy", they help people with problems like yours too.

~Atomic

you don't seem to get the problem so there is not point in you talking to me. i don't want sympathy. i want something that will help. none of which you are giving me. your just making me angry. if you don't want to help, leave me and my post alone. i could care less. now i am pissed and it's one more thing i have to deal with. please leave me alone if you cant or don't want to help.

You are angry because I am telling you the truth you must learn?

"I'm sorry, hun. Everything will be better. If you need someone to talk to, you can send me a message at Bull@crap.com"

Is that the kind of responses you seek? Fibs?

Face the truth, no one is -that- sincere here on P&Q and I doubt anywhere else on the internet.

~Atomic

first off don't ever tried to hide your pain..it's not worth it, and it just causes more. however what i don't understand is why you can't trust your freinds? i'm sure they can, i mean they care enough to cry even when the subject about you being suicidal is brought up...so im sure they care enough to listen when you need help the most. and don't go thinking you're no good..everyone is here in this world for some reason...some perpouse(sp?) believe it or not. i use to think those things..in a way i guess i still do at times, the truth of the matter is..if i was no good i wouldnt have friends..as do you. there's a little saying i want you to always remember. " no person can be a failure who has friends"...i think it fits this situation perfectly. honestly though don't give up hope in life, but mostly don't give up hope in other people. there is help out there, you just have to find it and not give up until you do, because nobody is failure until they fail to try. best of luck to you.

*tiff*

ms. fancy ketchup. you need to leave me the fuck alone. you don't even know what your talking about. it seems like your the one who needs help. becuase all in all, it's you that is my problem. i don't like people like you b/c you don't have compassion for others. you only think of yourself. if your gonna be like that, why have friends or why talk to anyone when all your gonna say is shit? it doesn't make sense to me. and i'm trying to hide it the best i can b/c believe it or not, it does help. no one worries about me and thats the way i want it. i don't people telling me it's gonna be okay or shit like that b/c i know it's just lies. i'm sick of being lied to. that's one thing i'm sick of. and i know my friends of sick of me doing this to them. they react the same way. so there is no point in telling this to anyone who cares. b/c reality check, this post was just for me to get my feelings out to someone. i didn't want pysco maniacs posting on it. cuz it does me not good. get out of my life and stay away mrs. stupid atomic.

That was a little harsh don't you think? Its ture the best way to get help is to ask for it. Anyone; it could be a friend, a parent or a doctor. You can't do this alone. Hiding it will only cause more pain. Believe me. I know i'm being a hypocrite saying this because i hide shit to, but i'm trying now. Little by little i'm telling my friends even in a subtle way, and their there for me. As much as it scares them, they still help me even in the littlest ways.

Maybe your friends are sick of waiting...waiting to know whats wrong. Maybe they think that when the time is right you'll come to them with your problems.... And I know you posted this to get your feelings out but others are going to answer and try and give the best adive they know how. And that best advice would be to talk to someone. You can't keep it bottled up forever, it only does more damage. Anyways if you wanna hear "Its okay and everything will be alright, and you can talk to me whenever" then there it is. But professional help would be more effective. Yes there are others out there that give professional help.... Think about it.
~Luvz~
~Angie~
xoxo

"ms. fancy ketchup. you need to leave me the fuck alone. "

Hey now, there's no need to disrespect with cursing and such. It seems that -you- are the one who is not leaving me alone. How silly of you.

"you don't even know what your talking about. it seems like your the one who needs help."

Oh, so are you a professional now? I happen to know exactly what I am talking about, for I am the one typing it in response to you.

" i don't like people like you b/c you don't have compassion for others. "

So you admit, you were looking for sympathy? I happen to have a lot of compassion for other people, just not people who believe in self-harming and can't help themselves. All they do is complain on the internet about how hard their life is, well...your life is not gonna change unless you get up and make the first move. And that's exactly why I lack compassion for you and many other cutters.

"i don't people telling me it's gonna be okay or shit like that b/c i know it's just lies"

I tried telling you the truth and you called me all sorts of name. Why are you contradicting yourself? Truths are lies and lies are truths? If you truly think so, then you must first look up those two words in a dictionary. I heard it's most useful.

"so there is no point in telling this to anyone who cares"

So what's the point of posting this on the internet? I am one of those people who don't care and you are being quite rude about it. I thought you wanted to hear something new from strangers. Well, I am a stranger and I am telling you something new. Only you are not excepting it like someone who is mature.

"i didn't want pysco maniacs posting on it. "

Then why do you keep posting?

"get out of my life and stay away"

I was never in your life and I have no interest in your life. Don't take it to the heart, people like me just don't have "compassion for others."

"mrs. stupid atomic."

By the way, I am only 16, I am not yet married. Haha, "Stupid Atomic", I love the irony there.

~Atomic

Courtney-

And I think you need spelling lessons. There, we're even now.

LifeIsSoooBad-

Ahh, so many things that you are saying can be turned and used against you.

I also happen think -you- need a life, and -you- almost beat me at being a prick, however, I refuse to lose such a charming title to the likes of you.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Nothing, I just think it's unfair that everyone is jumping down my throat because -I- stated my opinions. Yours was just as brutal.

And it's Miss. Bookworm to you. I'm not married yet.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Ok sorry guys. I'm agreeing with Atomic! I have read through this and most of the way she is telling the truth. Many of you do have many spelling mistakes, but I am not a spelling genius either. But come on now there are only so many words in the English language and you misspell all of them? how in the world is that possible? Well apparently just give some of you all a keyboard and anything is possible. Again I am sorry but i have to agree with Atomic on this one!! bye bye EJ

well, she didn't come on for sympathy, she came on for advice. and laura is right, no one really is a professional. yes, there are therapists and psychologists who help ppl w/ these types of problems, but every person is different, and a therapist can't know exactly what every person needs. you can't be a professional when you don't know every single person and what kind of help they respond to best.

Angie is right. Haha, she supports me.

We all know Angie is greedy, she always get the last piece of cake. =P

~Atomic

This is what I think:

I think everyone should stop arguing over this idiotic topic and the girl who started this post should go to a councillor or a psychiatrist because she obviously needs help.

Ahh, I am surprised that a 13 years old like Miss Ruby, can see sense where my peers can't. Good job, gal.

As for Miss Courtney, ahahahahahaha...you're a straight A's student? Ahahahahaha.

Even I don't get straight A's and that's saying a lot, considering how many times people had told me I am a smartarse.

Tell me, Miss Courtney...do you go to a special school? Or maybe you're just still in first grade? (Would explain the first grade insults you kept throwing at me.) Please tell me it's one of the two, because I am having difficulty believing your obvious fibs and I need a more believable explanation.

~Atomic

I didn't call you a bad person for fighting, I merely said your opinions were just as brutal as mine.

That's the only problem I had with your statement.

By making that statement, you are implying that you -do- care. So don't give me this bullcrap about you don't.

But please, do carry on with your babbling.

~Atomic

It was useless to begin with.

It became more uselss when "people like you" think they can solve a problem by making it worse.

~Atomic

laura, im just going to answer your question..the one you asked in the beginning of this thread. everyone at some point in their life will feel the way you do now, i know i did. let me be the first to say..there's nothing wrong with it, you're just a girl who's in search for help. if you want advice, which is why im guessing you posted this. take some time out of your life to reflect on the things and people in it.

see i use to wallow in self pity ( not saying you do) and i realized it wasn't worth it. i came to the conclusion that everything nagative in this world happens for some reason...or else it wouldn't happen. you have to try to see the blessings behind some things. i don't know your story, but im going to use an example. lets say you're majorly depressed over a break up. that's normal usually people are pretty upset, but think of it like this. if the relationship didn't end when it did..it would ahve gotten more serious therefor you would be in more pain...or something like that.

there are other examples i could use, however i don't want to bore you or others on this thread with my constant rambling. just remember you're here for a reason. there are people in this world who love and care for..even if you think they don't. stay strong and keep your head up..even if the world is pushing it down. staying strong is really about how much faith you have. so have alot of it. i'm not very religous but i find that having faith in knowing everything will be ok means haveing a happier life.

take care in life and whatever comes your way.

*tiff*

Hey Atomic!! When you told me about this at school, I thought you'd at least have the smarts to not use your real name!!!! *duh* Hey laura! Maybe you could use a hand with your issues. I wouldnt turn my nose up at that psychology thing.... ^_^

umm....

~Eric Baddu Shamaz

Anthony, this is my second account, I see no shame in putting my name.

And you're the last person she should be seeking help from. =P

~Atomic

Yeah... If you want to know how to kill yourself, I've tried before....and failed.... three times.... If you want to not kill yourself... well I've tried... and failed... three times... so I know how to fail at it!!! WOO!!!!

~Anthony

Kill Us All- You sound like you are two steps away from being suicidal yourself. So don't come in here pretneding that you dont suck ass.

Ismail- Well its been awhile but you still havn't stopped being an ass hole. Even if this girl is faking, you shouldn't tell a suicidal person to do it. What if she was serious and was looking for a reason not to blow her brains against a wall? then what. If you can't be nice, well then thats you. I however am above it and can be mean all i want and its ok. Thats just how the world works!! ^_^

Ahh, LifeIsSoooBad, I see even Bob couldn't keep you away.

~Atomic

okay to all of you. i was serious. very serious. to the point that i didn't care if i got any replys back. therefore i wouldn't have got to get into a huge argument which was never even supposed to happen. and i know all of you say get help or die, well it's a little more complicated then that. i don't think most of you know how it feels to have everyone think your ok yet everynight you cry yourself to sleep. the only person you talk to is your best friend because you can't trust anyone else. not even my sister because i don't want my parents to find out. well you know how hard it is to acutally try and fail? i've tried at least every day this month if not more. no one knows the real me. ok. to atomic. sorry for what i said. i didn't mean what i said. i was just grumpy and crying and stuff and didn't mean to take it all out on you. so i hope you can forgive me if i die in the next couple of days. it's just so hard to live when you have nothing to live for. no goals in life, no friends who would like to hang out, no parents who dont' yell at you 24/7. stuff like that. crying yourself to sleep at night hurts. it hurts a lot when no one knows what you feel. put a smile on and hope it works. you try to kill yourself but for some reason you don't die. you can't figure out why. even though you want to die so badly. i feel like no one understands how i feel. like no one can or wants to. like i'm gonna get ingorned for ever and that the things i want to say will go unnoticed.

Anthony Im sure youve been in the closet for sometime now so let me update you

As for this comment, my closet has a computer and TV. Thanks for your concern. Now I know why you constantly get suspended because of your mouth. Maybe if someone killed you and made it look like suicide, I would find it ironic, none the less funny. Thats what I call Irony!!! ^_^

Why are you talking to me Anthony, I don't speak to depressed bugs except squish them

Who said I was depressed? you assume *note the first three letters* I have no clue where we are right now because this is the internet. Take a good long look at yourself. are you really that much of a nimrod that you cant see things in front of you? I'm not really trying to argue today I just feel like mocking you ^_^

Have a blessed Day

~Anthony

this argument it honestly pointless! your not going to accumplish anything, not goinh to alter peoples opinions and not helping anyone by it.

that was a little harsh Ismail

truth is one thing but putting someone down repetedly is another

if ya take a look the other guy kinda did ask for it haha he started of by calling Ismail an asshole so ya good job for showin him how to do things Ismail!!

sorry Ishmail. I almost couldn't write this because fo how hard I was laughing at you. You honestly think that I care what people over the internet say??? You are seriosly pathetic. please don't look for me in here again because I just realized how stupid this really is. How do you say... :Taking the moral High road "^_^

I'm sorry to whoever doesn't agree with me or whoever is sucidal, but suicide is for losers.

In order to commit suicide you have to be:
A pansy
A loser
A faggot
A little scared piece of shit
A loser
A loser
A loser
A loser
A retard
A dumbass
An idiot
And a loser

People say they would be to scared to commit suicide, well, anyone can commit suicide, it doesn't take bravery, it takes a whimpy idiot. It's not hard to commit suicide, what's hard is just moving on with your life and hoping for the best, that takes bravery, and the people who can do that all the time are heroes. Suicide is stupid, honestly, think about it:

Who commits suicide when they have their whole life ahead of them to fix the mistake they made?
God.... You're not doing anyone a favor by commiting suicide and if you think you are you should STFU.

Suicide is for dumbasses

Thank you for your time.

Now, If you are to do anything stupid over this, then you don't know how to read and interpret, you just know how to read...

And to Anthony, If you even say this: You sound like you are two steps away from being suicidal yourself. So don't come in here pretneding that you dont suck ass.

To me, omg you will be sorry.

I'm on my way to cleaning my post, but I still stand by what I said.

And I don't care if you guys think I am a (F word er) but I don't just have beef with suicidal people I got the whole cattle.

Ismail:

I don't defend my friends unless I think they're right. Ask him yourself. I go by my morals, not his. And right now I think he's wrong for comforting her, because she wants to commit suicide.

Anthony: Sorry, you know how I am. I told you before "You can't expect me to respect someone who believes in self-harming."

LifeIsSoooBad:

I think I'll keep my "rude" remarks out in the opening. If I keep it to myself, it wouldn't be as "rude".

The Wingless-

I definitely agree with you.

Laura:

Apologies accepted. Just one more thing to tell you before you "die in the next couple of days."

"If you can't find something to live for, you best find something to die for."

And the reasons cannot be, because you're lonely and blah, blah, blah.

~Atomic

LifeIsSoooBad-

Damn right.

~Atomic

^whoever you are you have problems, your complaining because someone is against suicide...