Age diffrence.

So whats everybodys take on age diffrence.

My rants are almost 4 years apart.

and theres this guy that i'm into whose 20

and i'm 16...but i'm a virgin and have taken the purity vow and know what i'm doing...

so is this wrong?

No, It's not wrong! I was 16 yrs old when I first met my man and he was 20 at that time. Now I'm 19yrs old and his 23yrs old. The only thing, you have to be careful.

~Protection~Love~

I guess it's ok but i knowing myself I would never be able to do that. I'm 15 and i would probably NEVER date somone who was 19. Yes I'm mature but that has really nothing to do with it. I just know it would get odd because in our lives we'd be doing differant things. Ready for different things. If i started dating a 20 year old i know i'd grow up a lot faster and miss out on all these weird messed up teen years! The oldest I would go would most likely be 2 years older. Just remember these are your teen years and your ready for "omg that teachers so dumb who gives homework or such and such break" Or "I'm fighting with my family again they just don't understand me" and "ohh that boys really cute" I'm not saying you actually act like this but I can tell you that the problems he's facing in his life are a lot more complicated than the ones we as teens are facing. If you love him and you've thought this out VERY carfully then go through with it with caution, but i've seen friends do this and they very quickly got in fights and dumped their b/f's. Even tho they claim it wasn't about age differences thats what i know it was when it comes down to it. They were looking for different things in life.... your hoping you pass the next grade and he's hoping to god he keeps his job so he can keep feeding himself tomorrow. If you love him go for it... but be prepared for some hard roads ahead!

Her profile probably says she's 15 and she just hasn't changed it yet..
The age thing really isn't that big of a deal.. I dated someone who was 18 when I was 14.. We never did anything because we were only together for a month but still. I think it's better to date someone more your own age just because it's easier to do things with them.. Like hang out not sex.. But I don't know thats just my opinion like me and my boyfriend are 10 months apart and well our relationship is fine.. But if you want to be with this guy I don't think it's that big of a deal.. Hope I helped...
!^I Love Being In Love^!

O and to LifeIsSooBad?? Why are you on this site?? You don't have any poems and all you do is put people down.. You've done it in a couple posts I read.. What is your purpose of being a member on this site when you have no poems.. You seem like you have no life and you have to try to make people feel bad just to make yourself happy.. Hun, I think you have low self esteem issues. So here's a little advice.. GET A LIFE.. O and this website is For poets, so unless your actually gonna start writing. What's the point of being on this site.. I don't know but that's just my opinion...

Actually LifeIsSooBad's advise is better than most peoples on this site. I mean yeah it can be harsh but dude seriously it's the truth. People who are 14- 16 years old think they are "in love'. I think education is more important then finding love. There is no law that says you have to be a poet to be on this site. You really have no right to tell people why or why they shouldn't be on this site. If anyone needs to get a life it's you. I mean come on......you don't need to bud into other peoples buisness. Keep your thoughts to yourself because they are pissing me off. I hate people like that...geezzz....

Oh and as for age difference. I think it's wrong if you're 16 and dating a 20 year old. What the fuck is wrong with you? Do your parents know? It's not a big deal once you get older. Like if you were 18 dating a 22 or 23 year old but at 16 it's wrong. Not all guys only think about sex but most that are between 17 and 20 do. I think that you are making big mistakes getting with guys that are that much older. Stick to your own age. You're still in high school. Being with guys that aren't is not good for your education. I swear people are so stupid.

First off, he doesn't give advice.. He just tries to put people down.. And I could really care less if I get you mad.. And yeah, education is important and I get all A's but I have a serious boyfriend and we've been together for almost a year.. And hun I have a life.. And you say you love god.. Shouldn't you be nicer to people.. After all we are all god's children right... And actually if your boyfriend is older and doesn't go to school with you it's pretty much better for your education because if you have a class with them you can't concentrate.. SO hunny, stop giving advice when you know nothing!!!

Actually i do know something. I know you have serious issues. Yes i do love God (with a capital G smart one) but this has nothing to do with that. I'm sure you have a life....and i could really care less if you get all A's. That has nothing to do with this either. I'm not talking about your grades. I'm saying you need to stop budding into other peoples buisness. Learn to read and comprehend things better. He may put people down but i actually think it's a good thing. When you don't put people down and explain something to them they get pissed and don't listen. Why did you call me hunny? Hahaha wow you need to get out more. Oh and i don't care if you have a serious boyfriend. Pshh i could care less how long you've been with him. It's probably not gonna last. It doesn't matter whether you can concentrate or not. The point is that at 16 years old having a guy who is 20 is wrong. There have been teenage girls that were 16 and got shot by their b/f who was 22. That is bull. You may think you know alot but if you think young high school teens and 22 year olds should be dating. Well you obviously don't know much at all.

No problem LifeIsSooBad. I think most of the people on here are trying too hard not to see things the way they really are.

Oh and !^I Love Being In Love^! you're 15. What makes you think you know more than me? Hahaha that's pretty funny. A 15 year old is in a serious relationship. It's just puppy love.....i would know because my friend Dani has been with her b/f for a year and thinks it's serious but everyone else knows it's just puppy love. LOL i'm laughing so hard i fell off my chair......

You know what sweetie.. You sound like one of those girls that all the guys ignore.. I think your so against relationships because noone wants to be in one with you.. Haha now thats funny. And have you ever heard of highschool sweethearts? Hmm maybe not.. And yeah I may be 15 but you have no idea what I've been through.. I've been through things that no teen should have to go through.. And yes, I am in a serious relationship.. Your friend may just be a little to immature to actually have a real relationship.. But I'm not.. I know what I want and I know he is the one for me.. And it's kind of funny how you fell out of your chair and you still managed to type now that's talent...

Okay Kori.. You don't know anything about me so don't try and say anything.. And hun and sweetie is just something I say.. I don't think anything of it.. I really don't care what you have to say.. So if I were you.. I really would just Shut Up.. I mean I don't care what you have to say so don't waste my time or yours...

i don't like big age differences. i'm 16 and ry's gonna be 19 in april. my personal opinion: it ain't bad. i actually like it. but uh... 6 years and up are kinda weird, no offense. especially for such young people. age differences, especially a bigger gap, gets a little easier to understand as people get older. **but i personally don't like it when the girl is older :|

Well sorry guys didnt mean for everyone to get all touchy and stuff...thanks for ur thoughts. I like the guy but i think friends for now is fine... and as for my parents u don't know them. They are very very very old fashioned , they wouldnt go for an age diffrence this big or even one year they dont like dating period.. THey dont even like me dating other races...which is gay beyond all belief but love conquers all right? so u tell me ?

..And i am 16 my birthday is 9/17/89... i havent been on this site forever and just recently got back on. but think what u like

thanks guys.

Sex kill people. Enough said.

~Atomic

!^I Love Being In Love^! you don't know me and because of that you can't say crap about me. I'm proud to say i do have a b/f and he is my age and we are taking it very slow. You're really annoying. I'm gonna leave it at that. Kori thanks for backing me up. I think that age difference is okay if it's 2 years at the most. Hearing about 16 year olds with 20 year olds scares me because my cousin was with one when she was 16 and he was trying to force her to have sex. Again in my opinion stick to your own age or 1or 2 years older. I think that I Love needs to stop getting into others buisness and back on subject....be careful. If you are with an older guy that is.

I'm 15 and all my boyfriends are normally at least a couple of years older then me.....my curent boyfriend is 21.....you just have to be careful....but if your lucky you will find a guy that will love you for you.....age is just a number when it comes to love....and there are some really great guys out there.....as unusual as it my sound.....i wish you luck

yeah, i don't think it's really bad for an age difference, because guys mature more slowly than girls right? i think it's two years or so, so if your guy is 20, then he really only has the maturity level of an 18-year-old. or at least that's what i've heard.
anyway.
i don't think an age difference is THAT bad, even if i'm 15. i know i haven't had those kind of experiences, but personally, i would only date a person up to 3 years older than me. however, it's your life so do what you wish.

good luck.

orange daisy.

nobody is insylting you Sarah........so what were you trying to say???

Age differences aren’t too bad if the persons can handle and deal with it. But if you’re with them just to screw around, woo boy. You, in general, really need to rethink what you’re doing

Well i won't label you but i personally think that being with someone for sex is wrong. Especially if you're 16. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Do you think the only way to stay in a relationship is sex? He is an older guy so it doesn't suprise me that you're having sex.

lol. i didnt want relationship advice i just wanted to know what ppl thought. and thank u i respect everyones opinon....ur great:)

IM 15 AND I USED TO DATE A 19 YEAR OLD AND I SAY IF YOU FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT WORK, THEN GO FOR IT

I think age difference in relationships is only an issue when minors are involved i.e. those under the legal age for sexual consent. This age does change from country to country but as a rule tends to be around the 16-18 years old mark.

In adult relationships age doesn't really matter. If there is mutual love and respect then why should age be a barrier? Problems only occur when other people have a narrow-minded view of the whole 'age difference' concept for example parents trying to protect their children.

A family friend (who is 31) has been happily married to her partner (who is 45) for 13 years and they have two children. For them other people saw the age as an issue, but they chose to ignore it as they knew they wanted to be together.

I am not suggesting you go and marry this man, like my friend did. However I would say keep an open mind, age is not a barrier to feelings of love.

Nici

OKAY AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER>>>>>>>>>>>GET OVER THE AGE THING. your not supposed to help who you fall in love with.

A MAN wanting to date a little girl is (in my eyes) disgusting...I don't care how mature the girl THINKS she is. You each have different repsonsibility levels and you each live totally different lives. Men chase little girls for ONE thing and ONE thing only. I see you say YOU are the one who wants sex...I do hope you realize that's ALL he cares about. As long as you are willing to give it up he'll be willing to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Please believe while you're sitting at home having a pillow fight with your friend he'll be in the club trying to pick up women his own age. I dated older men when I was your age...I wish I hadn't. I wish I had dated guys my age as I would have been able to be more of kid doing things that kids do like going to the movies and the mall. It's a silly game for you to play...you'll only end up getting hurt. But you know best so I'm sure you'll do what you want anyway...enjoy how COOL you feel now because it will NOT last.

^ *applauds* totally agree.

your my HERO!

sarah...im gonna back u up hhunnie..because i used to be in your shoes with the hole sex thing with te boy..you know. well anyways dont think your a slut, your smart, you kno what you want and i think thats important. just be safe about it! anyways on te sge differrence.... i refuse to go out with someone my own age. i am gonna be 17 on sunday and my man wil be 20 in august. so were not tht far apart...but its good. men do really mature slower htan girls, so being with someone older i tihnk is a good thing because they ae up to speed with you in the whole maturity thing. and to whom ever it was that said..a guy who wants to be with a little girl.... thats so stupid. age is nothing but a darn number! all you have to do is know hat is in yur heart. my friend is 15 and her man is 21. and they have a fantastic relationship. you cant tell yourself who to fall in love with, it just happenes....so follow your heart and do whatever feels right for you. just in the beggining of the relationship tell him flat out that sex is out of te question( if you feel that way) or how you do feel about sex. just because hes older doesnt mean that hes just after sex! i bet if he wantde it that bad, he would go find some smut and do her! so let him know how you feel right from the start and like i said before, follow your heart!
...Melinda!

I agree with the 1st sentence you wrote Bob.

Melinda you don't agree with me because you want to THINK your man and your friends man loves you two. Though it's possible I seriously doubt. You won't date any one your own because that is not the cool thing to do...believe me I'm SURE that's the case as I was like that too. One day you'll look back on this and think "DAMN! I should have listened" But tell me something Melinda if age is nothing but a number would you date and "love" a 60 year old man? Hmmmmmm....That's what I thought. You date 20 years old because you thing that's sooooooo cool and you going to school bragging about your man with a job and a car probably makes you popular. Trust me little one....you'll be kicking yourself in the ass.

i like u ^ and i'm gunna have to agree with u i believe u have converted me...lol

first of all hunnie, you dont know nothing about me or my friend. and for your information, im not even ni school so who do i brag too? and to answeryour question, no i would not date a 60 year old because that is disgusting, im just tierd of hearing that its such a big deal to be with someone a couple years older than you. and who are you to say that my man doesnt love me? you know nothing...NOTHING... i hate it when people like you act like they know everything.

and another thing, just because you di it it to be cool when you were my age, doesnt mena that we are all trying to get attention like you from dating an older perosn. your profile says that you 21, would you date smeone 25 yers old? you would! so thats 4 years difference, whats the difference from a 16 year olf being with some one whos 20? its still only 4 years. im wih my man because we do love each other, and we are just a good match! i am not with him to brag, so dont think that everyone is as naive (sp?) as you were or even as dumb.

First of all please do NOT call me hunnie. I am NOT your hunnie. You said yourself age is NOTHING but a number so why wouldn’t you date a 60 year old man…it’s the same thing. My boyfriend is 28. BUT we both have the same responsibilities…we both work full time jobs and we both have bills to pay. I will admit he has a child which I have found difficult to deal with as it’s not a responsibility that I myself have...which only further proves my point. So the difference is two ADULTS have the same responsibility levels and life styles…a child and a man live totally different lives. I’m not acting like I know everything…I’m telling you what I KNOW from EXPERIENCE. When I dated an older man at your age it wasn’t to be cool…that was just a perk. I genuinely cared for the man I was dating. Sadly he only wanted me for one thing…it hurt me to the core, so why shouldn’t I share my experiences. You ARE naïve…I can tell by your childish responses. As for you not being in school…I rest my case...it seems as though you’re not the brightest crayon in the box.

Okay HUNNIE! you have made about one good point, i guess age is something. but four or five years is nothing at all. just because im 17 doesnt mean sh*t. i have plenty of responsibilities. i dont have a mom or a dad, so i do everything and anything for myself. other than my sister, its only me, and about the kid thing i live with my sister who has four young boys, I am basically their second mom. She was just recently in the hospital having her fourth, and I took care of the other three kids all day and all night basically by myself. My man and I have some of the same responsibilities, except for a couple differences. We both also led the same lives. I am not a child. Maybe my age says so but i was basically an adult by the age of 13. I have had a hard life, and I am fully f*cking grown. I probably have it harder than your dumb ***. Alos, just because your little relationship didn't work out with an older man when you were younger doesnt mean that everyones relationships are doomed, and the fact that he just used you for sex does mean that you were and probably still are naive. I do appreciate you sharing expereinces, but yes, you are acting like you know everything. About me not being in school, b*tch dont say im not the smartest crayon in the box, Im not in school for a damn good reasons. Once again, your acting like you konw everything. Im not in school because im gonna get my GED and go to college, this will all happen within the next year. Me being with a 20 year old is not a bad thing. The only way you shouldn't be with someone older, is if your parents dont approve, and I only say that because my family means a lot to me. Me having their "consent" for being with an older person means a lot to me. Now that may only be me, but thats how I feel.

LMFAO - You get your GED "hunnie" because you certainly need it! No one used me for sex as I was not a twinkie giving my goods away. I realized (like a smart girl would) that when he pushed me to have sex that is all I was to him. Now I can see your situation clearly - you're a young GIRL, a child that THINKS she's grown...all 16 year olds do. I did say previously that it COULD happen...right before I said it was highly unlikely. I understand being in love...I was in love when I was 15. Fortunately it was with a boy only one year older and we spent a few wonderful years together. However, I realize you’re set in your ways....fine by me but taking care of your sister's children for a few days does NOT make you a mother nor does it mean you have responsibility. Respect and integrity are things you obviously lack and just by seeing your previous response I can see you are a convenient door mat for that good ole fellow of yours. You do not know my life so it is a mighty big assumption on your part to say you have it worse than me. I’ve done things and seen things I wouldn’t care to talk about…I don’t brag about the hardships of my life as it does NOT make me cooler, higher, or better than anyone else. Keep your oh so hard life to yourself…it makes no difference to me. It’s been said that girls that grow up without fathers look for that father figure type in their man. This confirms Bob’s point about a man being a young girl’s controller - just something else to ponder. I was not assuming anything about your life or saying that I KNOW your personal situation, but merely giving the girl’s reading this something to think about. It was not my intention to offend you…but you can carry on with your cussing as I’m sure that makes you feel so “grown”.

Look, I am sure the girl who started this conversation apprciates your input, and I also apprciate it. I understand that you are just trying to tell how things went with you, and just how you feel, but you have said some ignorant things and think just because your four years older than I am makes you some all knowing god. I am so tired of people saying your like all 16 year olds, no i am not like all 16 yera olds. If you knew me personally then you would know that i am grown, like any other person who is 21 or such. You assuming that my man doesn't love me, just because it didn't work out with you and your previous boyfriend doesn't mean nothing. Me saying that i took care of my sisters kids for three days was an example, but if you were a smart girl as you think you are you would have relized that. I have four brothers and three sisters, two of my brothers are younger and two of my sisters are younger also, because my mom is not really a mom, i was always with them, all the time. I was their mom. And for my nephews, yes i am like their second mom, once again your talking about stuff that you know nothing about. I do have respect for people, as i said in my last response, i would only be with someone that my family approves of because thats how much i care about what they think, and if they dont approve, then the relationship would end because thats how much i do respect them and their opinions. Why do you say "just by seeing your previous response I can see you are a convenient door mat for that good ole fellow of yours."? How does anything in my respons make it seem that i am a door mat for my boyfriend? You know nothing, let me repeate it, nothing about me and my boyfriends relationship. I am sorry that you have gone through some hard times, no one really should but its just part of life. But i myself has also gone through some very tough times, and I beleive that you learn and grow from your mistakes and hard times in life, which I have. I do not brag about my hard times either, because i would not like to talk about them, I was simply saying something. My father was a great father, when he was alive. So no i don't look for a father figure in my man, i look for someone that i am attracted to. ( and i dont mean sexually) My man does not controll me, i would not let some man walk all over me or controll me, no way in hell. Just to inform you me cussin was only because I was mad. I dont do it to look or even to feel grown. I personally think that swearing is sorta unattractive for a male or female, but i was mad. I am not also trying to assume anything about your life either. I thank you for telling me and others what you think and what had happened when you dated older boys, but for you to just assume that everyone else's relatinships are gonna fail is just ignorant. I am not saying that me and my man will be together forever, so you are probably right about that one. I am saying that we have a good relationship now. I am sorry if I have offended you also, i was just trying to make my opinion. And i will take what you said in considerration about them being older, and the day when my man even trys to controll me or anything like that, will be the day when im single. And let me clear something up, when i aid befor that i wouldnt date someone my own age is because i have dated guys my own age and they were so immature. I dont wanna date soemone who acts like a little kid. Mabey it is just because i never went out with the right person(my own age i mean) so it never worked out. I dont think that everything you say is wrong, i just think you act like you know what the outcome of someones relationship will be because yours didnt work.

Well, actually if you would have read my responses correctly you would have realized that I did acknowledge that it is very possible for a relationship to work between a girl and an older man...though in MY OPINION it's unlikely. Read more thoroughly from now on. I was not ignorant nor did I act like I knew everything...I was simply sharing my opinion. I'm sorry that you couldn't handle someone disagreeing with you.

The only other thing I will say is....go back to school.

Have a good one...