Depress me!!!!!!

Okay, I want dark and depressing poems.

How to win:
Depress me to the point that I want to fall into the ocean and let myself be swallowed alive.

Here are the rules:
Have fun.

Prizes:
First prize: Six comments from me and I will post you on my darkstarlings site.

Second prize: Three comments from me.

Thrid prize: Two comments from me.

Good luck!
Contest ends on Monday, March 20th

*this actually isn't about a boyfriend... sadly it's about my grandmother.*

You Never Loved Me

You never loved me
I don't know how I never knew
I've known you my whole life
I've never known the real you
Am I really that unlovable
You just had to push me away
You loved to see me hurt
It's what you lived for everyday
Every time I'd go visit
You'd try to make me cry
Still I held you dear in my heart
I really don't know why
The day I learned the truth
My tears blinded out my sight
I went through the day like a robot
I was crying the whole night
I haven't gone over in a while
I'm giving you what you asked for
A part of me hopes you've missed me
Another wants to hate you forever
Then you call and say you want me back in your life
Even after you caused me so much pain
And even though I may come back over
My feelings toward you will stay the same

The Chosen

What storm of this world can make it tremble,
this silhouette that I blindly follow.
How absent the world seems, as I view it,
black and alone, in the halflight of mist.

I care for nothing, conflate dream and day.
Such is my indifference, entwine them!
A last sunset peers dimly through the mist,
but it escapes me, I am truly blind.

For a frozen moment, I stop in awe,
we have come to the sea, how vast and dark.
Sighs, for which hope is a stranger, the waves,
they have not changed, they were thus in my dreams.

Turn loose thy storms, Lord, we will outlast them.
For us, your own blood, there will be no end.

Darkto me now

No more do the stars brightly glimmer
Happiness in my life I will no more allow
No more do streams under moonlight glitter
No more to me does the wide sea shimmer
To me the sun itself is dimmer
For all is dark to me now

Since the day the life flew out of thee
Only weeks after we had made our vow
All thoughts of life deserted me
Life itself lost all meaning to me
The joys in this world I no longer can see
For all is dark to me now

Each day as I sorrowfully waken
Wishing I was with you somehow
For by God you have been taken
I am left desolate, alone and forsaken
My faith has been so surely shaken
For all is dark to me now

Now my body lies broken
Forever is it dark for me now
For my heart it has been broken
For my soul it has been broken
So desperate steps I have taken
With you forever I will be now

the untold lies...

I would never forgive myself..
even i am dropped in hell
never knowing how u feel.....
with a deep blue ill.........

on that short christmas eve.....
when you suddenly leave
a pair of teary eyes.......
as i know the untold lies.....

thus, your gentle smile.....
has turned into incomprehensible file.....
and every single of your touch
has become a deep ingrained cut....

what a fool i am......
full of critics and damn.....
your life is full of uncertainty
but i keep nagging a pity

again and again...
i expect you to understand..
with a sound of offense
without knowing where you stand.....

even so, you always deny.....
to say that important line
with a soft white lie...
or a saying i'm fine........

now, bombard me with your protests..
but please do not give me such a test..
please don't you ever leave me.....
cause you mean the world to me...

the untold lies...

I would never forgive myself..
even i am dropped in hell
never knowing how u feel.....
with a deep blue ill.........

on that short christmas eve.....
when you suddenly leave
a pair of teary eyes.......
as i know the untold lies.....

thus, your gentle smile.....
has turned into incomprehensible file.....
and every single of your touch
has become a deep ingrained cut....

what a fool i am......
full of critics and damn.....
your life is full of uncertainty
but i keep nagging a pity

again and again...
i expect you to understand..
with a sound of offense
without knowing where you stand.....

even so, you always deny.....
to say that important line
with a soft white lie...
or a saying i'm fine........

now, bombard me with your protests..
but please do not give me such a test..
please don't you ever leave me.....
cause you mean the world to me...

the untold lies...

I would never forgive myself..
even i am dropped in hell
never knowing how u feel.....
with a deep blue ill.........

on that short christmas eve.....
when you suddenly leave
a pair of teary eyes.......
as i know the untold lies.....

thus, your gentle smile.....
has turned into incomprehensible file.....
and every single of your touch
has become a deep ingrained cut....

what a fool i am......
full of critics and damn.....
your life is full of uncertainty
but i keep nagging a pity

again and again...
i expect you to understand..
with a sound of offense
without knowing where you stand.....

even so, you always deny.....
to say that important line
with a soft white lie...
or a saying i'm fine........

now, bombard me with your protests..
but please do not give me such a test..
please don't you ever leave me.....
cause you mean the world to me...

Why has this happened?
by Alyson

My troubles are long gone
Now I'm standing here
In this desolate world
Alone and abandoned

All around me are the ruins
Of once grand buildings
Broken and shattered
Until they no longer exist

The harsh winds blow dust
Across the face of this vast land
Leaving the fields barren
Where food no longer grows

Most rivers have run dry
Leaving behind cracked earth
That screams in the night
For help

Tears slide silently down my cheeks
As I look at what this worlds become
Its no longer grand or beautiful
But dry and unforgiving

Why has this happened?
I say its because of our sins
All the wrongs that we've done
And all the beliefs we've held against others

*This holds a message can you find it?

An hour ago...
by J. Lau

Please...
Someone please...
Please turn on the light.
I see shadows moving around,
But nothing appears quite the same.

It's so dark in here,
Why doesn't anyone turn on the light?
What time is it now?
I thought we just finished breakfast.
Please answer me... Someone.

I remember walking in the park,
Just after my morning coffee.
I remember it was a clear blue sky,
I strolled along the thick green grass,
And watching the children play.

On my way back home,
A car ran a red light and struck me.
I remember so many people around me,
Asking if I was alright.
I remember telling them that I'm o.k.,
Stood back up and walking back home.

That was an hour ago...
I know my eyes are as wide as they can be,
But why can't I see?
What is happening to me?
Why is everything so dark and grey?

Life was full of colors and joy only yesterday,
Now it's dark and cold.
Why did this happen to me?
Images now exists only from my memories,
... just less then an hour ago.
My life...
Will never be the same...
Anymore.

< - - - - - - - - - - - >

Story of A Friend
by: ~*Who Cares?*~

Broken girl, empty heart and mind,
Wishes she couldn't see you, wanting to be blind.
Broken heart, best friend a razor,
Doesn't like herself, so she becomes a poser.

Bleeding wrists, from endless tears,
That have remolded her through the years.
Puffy cheeks, blood shot eyes,
All because of your lies.

Lost voice, cannot speak out,
Sometimes wants to, but is overcome with doubt.
Lost smiles, with so many fake laughs,
Her depression has left the graph.

Tears of blood, streak her face,
She gives up in this race!
Tears of loss, tears of sadness,
Thinking people couldn't really care less!

She goes off to die, alone and in pain,
At her funeral they state she wasn't sane.
She knows that she was, she just gave up with life,
So she used her friend Mr. Knife.

Shadow of Arabian Night
By Ipsita Bose

Her melancholic voice echoes through the dessert
Her feet tap on the sand
The dark gloom of Arabia survives in her soul
Yet each night she starts a new journey on this land

Songs of joy, love and happiness
She sings softly under her veil
But the somber side of her who can see?
Who can tell her heart is stale?

Her words, softly sung
Reaches far across to the sea
But no one can hear her desires
No one can hear what she really wants to be

On a dark night
Her lonely soul started to wander
So with the winds she walked along
Only to find out that her lover no longer wants her

On her long walk back
She remembered old memories, some happy and some sad
Her heart filled with pain
And the thought of losing the only love she ever had

On that night, her eyes had filled an ocean
But no one could see a single drop of tear
In her world of darkness
She screamed with pain yet no one could hear

She hid her black colored heart with a smile
Yet the the feeling of happiness on her face was absent
She sung night and day
Hoping that the pain gifted from him would keep silent

From then on each night she would start her journey
The only companion being her shadow
In search of another man who would color her heart red
And the feeling of love he would show

Not exactly sure how depressing this is.. but i thought it was sad enough...

Killer: Love
by Even roses have thorns

She looks into his eyes
seeing his every thought
he knows she's doing it
quietly he tells her, he loves her
she smiles looking around
no one knows but them
she tells him she is in love, also
only her eyes show it
but she will never tell who
the boy thinks they love each other
slowly they drift,
her real love never known
Now with words she tells him,
I've never loved you!
off she runs
afraid of what could happen
dumbfounded he follows
looking for answers
she turns down an alleyway
when he reaches it no one is there
looking around for the love he lost
finding her no where he leaves
now traveling home he begins to cry,
you left me, i should have known
everyone that i love leaves
but there is one,
the only friend i have
he returns home,
a small little shack,
he picks up the silver
his only friend
it touches his arm
cringing, he presses down
seeing the blood
smiling, pressing harder
this is my last breath
he shouts, as he slowly
fades away

Valentine's Day
by Even roses have thorns

They sit together
on the lover's holiday
cuddling, and smiling
acting lovey dovey
he knows she wants to die sometimes
she thinks there might be someone else
they part in their ways
he goes to the one he loves
she to the one that loves her
she holds the cold metal, his photo
crying why couldn't you love me
like the way you love her
she holds the blade closer
thinking "walk the sidewalk"
she gets closer to her want
he now feels her pain
leaving his lover
he runs down the road
now she is thinking "no turning back"
the blade "walks the sidewalk"
now turning, it "crosses the street"
he reaches her house
tears running down their eyes
she clutches the note
he clutches the nob
just a second too late
she lays there motionless
kneeling beside her
he reads the note
"we both can't get what we want"
he knows, though no one else does.
he now belongs to her
she got her wish
but he shall not
that was her happy ending
but his sorrowful beginning

No one knows
by Latasha

Her son is crying,
As she paints her face.
She is getting ready for another night.
Her son screams mommy don't leave.
As she kisses him and leaves out the door.
Her name is not known,
She is only known for her services.
No one cares she has son to feed,
They only care that she pleases them.
Her tender body quievers,
As strange men touch it.
She wonders how she has gotten to this place...
The place where no one knows who she really is not even herself.
She use to be a cheerleader,
The class president,
Every girls envy,
She was beautifu,
And wanted by many.
But now she is gone to a place,
Where no one really knows.
We just see her face as she walks into another cheap motel.
What went so different?
How did this change?
Tears shimmer down her face,
As she walks home after each night,
With no more then 20 dollars in her pocket.
She says this will last until tonight,
When it happens all over again.

Another Statistic?

Another teenage girl spends
her time locked in her room.
Wiping tears from her eyes
while damning the whole world.

She refuses to look at her
reflection in the mirror.
Afraid to see.

There are bruises in her memory
and not engraved on her skin.
Memories that make her want
to collapse and shun herself.

She has bite marks on
her tongue from the words
she didn’t say.

To most people, she’s just
another statistic in a world of facts.
Where people just see her
as another number.
Not a pretty face.

And where strangers
swear that the same thing
would never happen.

She’s got scars on her heart.
She’s numb and nervous.
She’s just another statistic.

She was me.

Bullet

He seems so unhappy
Something is on his mind
His life so miserable
It seems since the beginning of time

The world passes by hastily
Leaving him with father time
He's trying to catch up
Lest he fails and dies

He looks at me with such distance
Death is in his eyes
The life he once knew
Has met its demise

Sadness has become the home
His shelter from misery
His soul hidden from the world
Kept secret from all who seek to see

I have found his happiness
I can help his sorrow come to an end
It all begins with this gun
And ends with a bullet through my head

Did You See Me, Daddy?
by â—Š Atomic â—Š

Did you see me, daddy?

I just took my first few steps,
-My chubby legs almost gave away.-

Did you see me, daddy?

Today was my first day of school,
-Nobody invited your daughter to play.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I just got my first art award,
-I painted a picture of a happy you.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I just performed right on stage,
-You weren't anywhere in view.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I was introduced to drugs today,
-You haven't said that it was wrong.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I fainted on my way to school,
-You weren't there to make me strong.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I fought with a razor blade today,
-I lost the fight without trying.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I was drowning in a pool of blood,
-I had no idea that I was dying.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I cried at my own funeral,
-I was the only one who attended.-

Did you see me, daddy?

I died with a smile on my face,
-I wasn't as happy as I pretended.-

Do you see me now, daddy?

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!©

Wake Up

"So when are you gonna wake up?
And realize that you're living a lie
Your life isn't picture perfect
So why do you even try?"

This is what her conscious is telling her
She needs to listen in order to learn
But its become a daily process
And there's no place to turn.

She doesn't want to be a fake
Someone who covers her tears
With her pretty broke smile
She's hidden all of her fears

She know she's depressed
And it's not a weird chemical mixture
Its not something you can fix
When you're like a broken picture.

"If I can be strong for my friends
Without any showing any exposure
Just maybe finally one day
I can let go of my composure"

Oh the lies she told herself
Just to soothe her shattered soul
She just couldn't face reality
She couldn't take control

She knows she has a problem
But who could she confide in?
NOt her mother or best friend
She knew she couldn't win?

She couldn't turn to anyone
She was in this all alone
She couldn't take the pain
Her heart had turn to stone

She had nothing to depend on
Gave up on her hopes and dreams
It was her aganist the world
So it had seemed...

--emotionless.19*

LAST WORDS

To die is one thing that she craves
Her last remaining will
Sure that once she's dead and gone
There'll be no urge to kill

Streaks of black run down her cheeks
Silent as her grave
Whispers of the blinded truth
She's one they cannot save

Tortured mind and broken soul
A mess without a cause
So many lives she could have had
But someone locked he doors

Only one path left for her
Self inflicted pain
Cutting was the only way
She kept herself half sane

Never let herself be loved
It would hurt too much
No one would stay with her
Through hurt and tears and such

16 years she has endured
and never has been kissed
her frozen heart begins to melt
it pours out of her wrist

"lie me on a bed of roses
thorns and buds alike.
That represents the way I lived
To heaven now I'll hike"

"My blood will fall just like the tears
from pain inside and out
and of the way I chose to die
there never was a doubt"

"I didn't bleed my body dry,
or choke on crystal tears.
I died because you broke my heart,
I've loved you all these years"

By Suzie J