Struggling

I'm Becca, I'm 13 years old but the way my life has went I feel older. I've been cutting since I was 7 as I've had a horrible life and it was the only way I could release some anger and hatred towards myself and others but now... my exboyfriend (who I still love with all my heart) is telling me he won't ever talk to me again if I don't stop self-harming. The same goes for a few of my friends, so I stopped cutting in Novemeber last year, it was a good year and nothing too terrible happened then one of my friends killed herself and I'm struggling with depression once more, I don't know what to do, I want to cut so badly, I want to die and end all of this torment and suffering I've ever been through, I just don't know anymore... I can't stand it. I need help. I'm seeing a theripst before anyone asks but she's just pissing me off more and more. If anyone has or had depression or something, (cos I don't know they might be able to understand a bit more or something) can you please help me. I want to kill myself but I don't want to die if that makes any sense because I want to kill myself to get rid of all the pain and just get away or something but a part of me wants to live..I don't know....I'm just really struggling with everything now.
Becca x

hey i had a depression to wen i was 13 im 14 now i cut myself i punched da walls i disloacted my hand joints. My depression was bcoz of my parents, skl, freinds and bfs. teachers sed i shud talk 2 skl concell.
Its tough no1 gets u but u and u cry so much u wna die i tryed killin myself but theres a hole life ahead of u. rite now its so hard but trust me the sun will shine agen, make ur frnd pround, mke every1 proud, jus write it out, talk 2 ur parenst, friends, x bf if it helps i jus keep it 2 myslef bcoz no1 wnats 2 no but ur frmds wna no dey wna help try it.

I know too well what you are saying, but what I dont get is that if you stopped cutting because your friends made you, can't you stop because you want to yourself? Sorry I'm being no help, but oh well I hope it works out for you...somehow...
- Polly

Just forget it... I'm really sturggling with things and I don't know who to turn to so I thought I could ask for help or something on here but of course, as usual, I am judged and called a 'wannabe'. Thanks for the 'help'.

hey girl. well..im 14 and i will be 15 in may! but anyways..i still am depressed. its been like this since...i would say 12. i feel alot older too since ive been through so much..but i know how it feels to want to die..but if you think about it, you really dont want to. you just wanna be saved! and im not here trying to tell you to pray to God, but i can honestly say hes the reason why im still here. And ive had alot of time to myself..to think, and figure out who i really was and speak to myself positive things so that i wouldnt give up. you CANT give up. no matter what happens..if you want to have a good, happy life, you have to stay focused and my dreams are what is keeping me alive also. i have BIG dreams and i know i cant just sit here and cry my eyes out all the time. if i want to get anywhere in life, i have to DO SOMETHING. And even though i have alot of pain inside & it hurts i mean it really hurts, i have to force myself to go on..cause thats the beautiful part of it..when you see someone with so much pain and so much hurt..put a smile on her face & stay strong though it all..thats amazing! i mean, i wanna be known as a fighter, not a quitter. And i know that theres so many people out there who care for me even if i dont feel like they do. i know they do. And i never really had a best friend that pushed me and gave me encouragement, so instead i pushed myself & became my own bestfriend...girl, its all about wanting something so bad and doing absoulutely anything and everything to get there. but what ive also learned is that, happiness is in the heart and shouldnt be something you have to work for..well girl, i just wanted to share this with you. i wish you the best and sorry my grammar isnt too good! lol much love always-Lashae