saddness/life and socitey contest

  • Juls
    18 years ago

    I have never held a contest so here I go.

    Topic-Saddness and Depression and/or Life and Society

    First Prize- 6 Comments from me

    Second Prize- 4 Comments from me

    Third Prize Prize- 2 Comments from me

    ~All I ask~
    *Post up to 3 of your own poems for me to read
    *Dont forget the title
    *Make sure they are your own works
    *No links to the poem, post it here
    *Dont make a thread talking about someones poem in here. That can be done in private.
    *DO NOT POST POEMS AFTER...
    Friday, March 17th

    The winners will be posted on friday, March 17th
    and they will recieve a email from me, telling them what place they got in the contest.

    have fun and post away.

  • David Marshall
    18 years ago

    When im gone
    By David Marshall

    When I'm gone,
    Will you shed a tear?
    When I'm gone,
    is it a tragedy you hear?
    When I'm gone,
    would you care?
    When I'm gone,
    when I disappear,
    Is it something you would fear?
    When I'm gone,
    Will you cry?
    When I'm gone,
    and fade and die.
    When I'm gone,
    will you remember?
    Before I'm gone,
    can I hold you in my arms?
    Before I'm gone,
    can I have one last kiss?
    When I'm gone,
    will I be some one to miss?
    What will you do?
    What will you think?
    How will you feel?
    When my life is done,
    When I'm gone.

  • David Marshall
    18 years ago

    Pain in my heart
    By david Marshall

    Pain in my heart,
    Demons everywhere.
    Tearing my soul apart,
    But who the hell would care.

    I live in sorrow,
    with evil surrounding my life.
    As happiness seems to wallow,
    I cut deep in with the knife.

    As my life slowly ends,
    I write on the floor with my last drops of blood.
    No one could have saved me, not even my friends.
    My pain poured out creating a bloody flood.

    On the floor it was written,
    I loved you, but no one cared
    So I say good bye,
    for this life I'm not prepared.

    There's no way I could have lived,
    And now I must depart.
    My life is now over,
    Because of this pain in my heart.

  • David Marshall
    18 years ago

    Happy Day
    By david Marshall

    All I want is one happy day.
    What must i do?
    Do i have to pray?
    I never thought life would be so hard.
    ripped to pieces like a thin paper card.
    Why must I go on pretending?
    For my heart is far from mending.
    This pain makes me want to cry.
    I guess now it's time to say goodbye.
    It hurts like burning fire spread across my chest.
    Out of everything in my life, you were the best.
    Well this is all I got to say.
    I guess I'll never have one happy day.

  • J Lau
    18 years ago

    Lost in the city
    by J. Lau

    Wandering aimlessly,
    In a city full of people.
    So lost...
    Mindless...
    Nothing seems interesting anymore,
    Nothing appears to the mind.
    No sense of urgency,
    No sense of time.

    People all around you,
    In a shopping spree.
    Talking...
    Laughing...
    Browsing shops with their loved ones,
    Looking for the perfect gift.
    Some enjoying the moment,
    Some rushing to get back home.

    Walking alone quietly,
    Without memories to claim my own.
    Pacing...
    Without purpose...
    Just painstakingly waiting,
    For a friendship on hold.
    A relationship that never started,
    Uncertain of its future.

    Lost... in a city,
    Counting... Every second.

    < - - - - - - - - - - - >

  • J Lau
    18 years ago

    You once said to me
    by J. Lau

    Some time not long ago,
    You once said to me...
    "If things were not the way they are...
    If we were together last July,
    We may have turned out just the same."

    I simply kept my thoughts to myself,
    Cause I beg to differ.
    Things would have been a lot different,
    If we were together last July...

    I would have never broke your heart,
    I would have never let you cry.
    I would have treasured you so,
    Till the day you part.
    Not because of health or any other cause,
    But I will never be able to bare,
    The thought of leaving you the sorrows to grief alone.

    Life has never been so close to memories before,
    Feelings that were burried,
    And thoughts that have been forgotten,
    Were felt and remembered once more.
    Eyes that were dried are now filled with tears,
    A heart that was lost is filled with emotions again.

    Some time not long ago,
    You told me about your thoughts...
    "That we may be together one day...
    And you really can see it happen,
    Some years down the road."

    I told you that I'd be really happy,
    If that day ever comes.
    I promised that if you're not married in two years less a month,
    There will be no question about us.

    How I wish that things will change,
    And let history rewrite the past.
    How I wish that time will fly,
    And let it fade away all your sorrows in the past.
    How I wish the future will offer new hope and fate,
    So I pray that we will be together one day.

    Some time shortly after,
    You wrote to me...
    "That you need some time alone,
    Not to reply and not to call.
    Take care of myself and him for you,
    If I treasure this friendship between you and I."

    You retreated back,
    And shut me out.
    My heart sunk like a rock,
    Desperate and lost.
    Not that I lost faith in your feelings or your thoughts,
    But helpless that I cannot be there by your side,
    When you needed the comfort and support.

    There's nothing I can or should do anymore,
    But to pray that you recover soon one day.
    Watching the painful seconds past each day,
    I can only respect your wish and patiently wait.
    All I ever want is the best for you,
    With or without me matters no more.
    One thing I will say for sure,
    Is that not only have my feelings for you never changed,
    But it grew a lot stronger with each passing day.

    < - - - - - - - - - - - >

  • J Lau
    18 years ago

    An hour ago...
    by J. Lau

    Please...
    Someone please...
    Please turn on the light.
    I see shadows moving around,
    But nothing appears quite the same.

    It's so dark in here,
    Why doesn't anyone turn on the light?
    What time is it now?
    I thought we just finished breakfast.
    Please answer me... Someone.

    I remember walking in the park,
    Just after my morning coffee.
    I remember it was a clear blue sky,
    I strolled along the thick green grass,
    And watching the children play.

    On my way back home,
    A car ran a red light and struck me.
    I remember so many people around me,
    Asking if I was alright.
    I remember telling them that I'm o.k.,
    Stood back up and walking back home.

    That was an hour ago...
    I know my eyes are as wide as they can be,
    But why can't I see?
    What is happening to me?
    Why is everything so dark and grey?

    Life was full of colors and joy only yesterday,
    Now it's dark and cold.
    Why did this happen to me?
    Images now exists only from my memories,
    ... just less then an hour ago.
    My life...
    Will never be the same...
    Anymore.

    < - - - - - - - - - - - >

  • Ben
    18 years ago

    The Kestrel

    Over the moors and through the glen
    his song can be heard
    travelling on the back of a golden kestrel
    nature awakes to this bird

    Flowers start to blossom and grass starts to grow
    guided by this harmonious tune
    the sun starts to rise as a golden pan on the horizon
    eager for it to reach noon

    From the highest hills to the lowest valleys
    the echo of the song rejoices
    rivers gleam a crystal blue and birds sing gracious songs
    for once no complication of choices

    The kestrel sways on the winds comforting cushion
    gliding through the forests sanctuary
    the leaves sway and rustle, talking of never-ending life
    the month radiates hope, tis February

    Alas, the poor kestrel's song holds bittersweet symphony
    for this song cannot last
    as one day the wings which carry this oh so sweet melody
    will be something of the past

    Death holds no escape, nor easy reprieve
    time is time it cries with hidden smiles
    laughter turns to tears of mourning and hope turns to in senseless pain
    for the song now seems to be gone a million miles

    But hark! Natures reply to death's deed laughs in resilience
    a new generation of youth cries with duty
    the kestrel's offspring spread their wings and start to soar
    the song begins again, somewhat fluty

    Death crawls back into its selfish hovel
    realisation setting in its feeble mind
    you can kill the golden kestrel, the saviour messenger
    but nothing can kill the glorious song, the sounds of hope and kind

  • Ben
    18 years ago

    The Thoughts of a deep thinker in a shallow world

    Staring into the mirror
    society menacingly laughing back
    hissing underneath its shallow breath
    you know you cant, so just dont fight back

    I pull myself away from the binding gaze
    perplexed and confused
    is this what I almost become
    had I came this close to lighting the fuse?

    I turn around and think I am looking into the mirror again
    decorated violence and meaningless ideals
    but I rub my hand against its choosing surface
    and realise its my window, the curtains start to appeal

    I see societies minions corrupting innocent minds
    gorging themselves in such a plentiful feeding ground
    ingeniously though, they do not intend to kill
    only to subdue and with the hammer of untrust to pound

    With me though, these minions are playing a different game
    a barrier of love and family affection
    bars their entry into my mind and soul
    so they play on those around me those who are without protection

    I know a girl of a pitiful 16
    already scared and drained of youth and the gift of not caring
    society has stamped an image in her tender mind of what she should be
    and with the old painting, tearing

    What I have discovered to my great relief
    is that society is complacent and rushed
    as when I talk to those I thought unsaveable
    their innocence and empathy are still there, but to one side pushed

    I do not claim that society will be stopped by whinges and complaints
    but by playing on the fact that I am willing to stand up
    and to go against the acidic rules of society;
    let thy drink from the deep liquid of my hearts cup

    Do not let it be said, that what we have is all that we could hope for
    we can change the future for something better
    something where tolerance and understanding play a bigger role
    something where depression, not our lives, is the quiter

    What I talk of, is not going to be a bed of roses
    violence, hate, spite and other human feelings will still exsist
    it's just that they will not be decorated or approved
    and no one will persist

    The best looking will no longer hold a place
    but beauty and passion will
    judgment before opening the page will lose its posistion
    people will be able to give their original pages of introduction, no reason to revert to the pill

    What keeps me swimming so deep through what could be insanities waters
    is the feeling of success and meaning in an aspect few ever feel
    just knowing you have changed ones person life from stepping in socities shallow puddles
    is what gives me strength to stand up and gives me a shield

    All of this draws to a close as my eyelids become heavy
    and darkness fills my concious shy
    I am falling into a sleep for which I look forward to every day
    as it is this place where my dream was born and where it will never die

  • Ben
    18 years ago

    Countryside Enclosure

    Shades of green
    adorn the rolling lands
    birds fly above, keen
    with desire to soar

    Rays of warmth and light
    bless the ground beneath
    yet no emotions, to bite
    down with impurity

    Trees of all shapes
    take root together,
    huddled close, capes
    of honour and meaning

    Animals of types
    live harmoniously in tune
    with death a need, not hypes
    of greedy want

    The fox kills for need
    the rabbit dies for life
    we kill countlessly, to feed
    not our children, but for want

    Black fluttering routes
    reminders of change
    cancerous growths, shoots
    of possible invasion

    I hear each scream
    the pain technology brings
    solid and simple wood, gleam
    not like plastic

    Panarominc views
    summer green and autumn brown
    neither bring you happiness,
    coups of minute spaces and grey satisfy

    Fauna and flora laugh as one
    seeing you as you truly are
    as when you are compact and sad, bonne
    chance to buy what we have

  • Ben
    18 years ago

    Words

    A few hurtful words
    said in great rash
    I cannot believe
    made our friendship ties dash

    I was upset, I was concerned
    what you said suprised me
    the words came out
    before my mind caught on with reality

    Now I feel though that what we had
    was not as strong as you make out
    as a couple of misused words
    ended it suddenly with a simple clought

    I do not blame you
    but you should not blame me
    friendship holds stronger bonds
    forgiveness and humanity

    Forgiveness is all that I ask
    but if you decide that I only kid
    please remember this and this only
    words mean nothing, our friendship did

  • unstated affinity
    18 years ago

    in my soul and in my heart.

    It was just for a glimpse..
    and it was just like a dream..
    it was real....?
    or it was just indescribable feeling...?

    the moon has turned blue....
    but i still couldn't find any clue...
    to fill that empty part..
    suddenly we are torn apart...

    when i just started to believe...
    you made me deceive....
    yet i couldn't resist..
    cause i am just about to leave...

    my world's is going to fall..
    but you never give me a call..
    my sight is almost gone...
    oh no... don't leave me alone...

    my eyes soon grow misty..
    i never expect the end to be so nasty...
    give me a way to flee..
    oh,please, set me free....

    once again, that miracle happen..
    like our tales of 10 years ago..
    our pure innocent love..
    has break the heaven...

    why you never told me..?
    you run and hug me...
    your tears fall onto my cheek
    makes my heart want to leak

    girl i love you...
    that is the only reason...
    all the pain and stain,i could've gone through
    every power that still remain
    in my soul and in my heart...
    any moment of this life...

    now let me feel your last soft embrace...
    and your feeling toward me
    in fact,you have known everything...
    as i am no more lasting......

  • unstated affinity
    18 years ago

    in my soul and in my heart.

    It was just for a glimpse..
    and it was just like a dream..
    it was real....?
    or it was just indescribable feeling...?

    the moon has turned blue....
    but i still couldn't find any clue...
    to fill that empty part..
    suddenly we are torn apart...

    when i just started to believe...
    you made me deceive....
    yet i couldn't resist..
    cause i am just about to leave...

    my world's is going to fall..
    but you never give me a call..
    my sight is almost gone...
    oh no... don't leave me alone...

    my eyes soon grow misty..
    i never expect the end to be so nasty...
    give me a way to flee..
    oh,please, set me free....

    once again, that miracle happen..
    like our tales of 10 years ago..
    our pure innocent love..
    has break the heaven...

    why you never told me..?
    you run and hug me...
    your tears fall onto my cheek
    makes my heart want to leak

    girl i love you...
    that is the only reason...
    all the pain and stain,i could've gone through
    every power that still remain
    in my soul and in my heart...
    any moment of this life...

    now let me feel your last soft embrace...
    and your feeling toward me
    in fact,you have known everything...
    as i am no more lasting......

  • unstated affinity
    18 years ago

    if only...

    If only the sea stop roaring
    and the grass loss its colour
    will this world be the same..?
    enormous skies and mountains,stay unframed

    if only the snow can say
    and the wind can sing
    will they lend me a secret...
    another aspect of this life..

    if only the time can stop
    for a day.....
    for a second....
    let me seek for the feeling,
    the untouched dream
    that drown with the night,
    simply hidden and broken

    if only there is no hate and sadness
    things blessed by love and joyfullness
    without expressive comment
    without pretending moment
    i do want to fly, through the dark ,through the clouds
    to draw... the beauty of soul...

  • unstated affinity
    18 years ago

    I would never forgive myself..
    even i am dropped in hell
    never knowing how u feel.....
    with a deep blue ill.........

    on that short christmas eve.....
    when you suddenly leave
    a pair of teary eyes.......
    as i know the untold lies.....

    thus, your gentle smile.....
    has turned into incomprehensible file.....
    and every single of your touch
    has become a deep ingrained cut....

    what a fool i am......
    full of critics and damn.....
    your life is full of uncertainty
    but i keep nagging a pity

    again and again...
    i expect you to understand..
    with a sound of offense
    without knowing where you stand.....

    even so, you always deny.....
    to say that important line
    with a soft white lie...
    or a saying i'm fine........

    now, bombard me with your protests..
    but please do not give me such a test..
    please don't you ever leave me.....
    cause you mean the world to me

  • unstated affinity
    18 years ago

    oops.. i posted 1 of the poems 2 times.. would kindly delete it 1. thanx.. peace :)

  • LuvMeAlwayz
    18 years ago

    The end
    by "-"ciñdy"-"

    I love you was what he said
    Now that it worth nothing
    Our relationship soon be dead

    I miss you was what he song
    When he said he was sorry
    And he felt so wrong

    All those words that he said
    Meant nothing
    Only tears are to be shed

    For his stupid lies
    He'll regret ever meeting me
    As time pass by

    We're over was what I said
    You've started it and heres the end
    As I've said our relationship is dead

  • LuvMeAlwayz
    18 years ago

    Let you go
    by "-"ciñdy"-"

    I know that we're over
    And things are falling apart
    I'm still in my dream realm
    I should of known it from the start

    But a reality start to overwhelm
    I wish it won't happen like this
    I can't make things happen my way
    I can't reminisce

    Things are unexpected
    I know I soon will have to let go
    And someday i'll let you know
    How I feel and what I feel

    I feel so lonely and felt so sad
    I'm sorry I lost the love i had
    I know that i'm not dreaming
    I know it's real

    I know every feeling
    That me, myself revealed
    I didn't know myself in reality
    Because I couldn't face the real me

    Now I only want you to know
    Is that I don't need you anymore
    Now I'll have to let you go
    And find a love I've never had before

  • LuvMeAlwayz
    18 years ago

    Lost (2)
    by "-"ciñdy"-"

    Everyone treated her as a star
    No one ever correct her wrong
    But now she had been fooled for so long
    Everything she had was coming to and end
    She had no one, no guardian nor friend
    Everytime she thinks of it
    She realized to herself that she's not fit
    Every moment she look back
    Her body and soul yet grew slack
    Everytime she thinks of him
    How she can't keep the sudden whim
    Every word that he said
    Was what she believed it true
    But her feelings soon be dead
    Her popularity was now gone
    She had him but now she had no one

  • Loulou
    18 years ago

    That Bird
    by Tabby

    As i walk down this silent road
    i saw the lonely houses pass me by
    dirty shacks with dirty faces in the window
    all was gray on that road until something caught my eye

    a little bird so blue and bright
    it made a sound so lovely to the ears
    i stood there a while and listened
    so beautiful in this gray world that it gave me tears

    "why"I asked this little bird
    "why are you so beautiful in such an ugly place"
    "this world makes me sad and scared"
    but you little bird put this smile on my face"

    the bird replied with another song
    as it sung i notice the sun was in the sky
    the trees seemed to also be greener
    i stared at that bird not knowing how much time passed by

    i turned and walked away
    the sky was bright and the road seemed alive
    the houses looked like mansions in the sun
    i smiled knowing the world wasn't that bad when that beautiful bird caught my eye

    (the meaning of this poem is that with all the wars and other sad and bad things in this world there is still a little good left in it THE BIRD IS THE GOOD THE ROAD IS LIKE THE WORLD
    THANX LITTLE BIRDY FOR THE HAPPINESS YOU GIVE US.....)

  • Loulou
    18 years ago

    Silent memories
    by Tabby

    (to those memories people keep silent we all have them)

    Forgetting all those silent memories
    That haunt the soul and mind
    That corrupt the happy thoughts
    Which are usually so hard to find

    Trying to keep them silent
    Hoping they'll get lost
    But sometimes their stronger
    And happiness is all it costs

    For memories you don't want
    Such sacrifice you pay
    To not feel that painful memory
    You just want to go away

    It seeps into your life unannounced
    Like some kind of disease
    As it eats away the happiness
    That once used to ease

    all the pain you have suffered
    And the darkness that you see
    all the loss of your happiness
    is all caused by those silent memories

  • Loulou
    18 years ago

    This is not goodbye
    by Tabby

    Crying by his bedside my tears flow endlessly
    I held his hand so tightly never wanting to let go
    Trying to not think about what is about to be
    I look up at him trying to not let my sadness show

    His eyes are closed his breathing is slow and heavy
    I run my hands through his thick, dark, brown hair
    His handsome face is so pale with the color gray
    That I begin to cry even harder thinking it isn't fair

    Sickness is taking my true love away from me
    Draining away his energy happiness and light
    But not stealing our love away from each other
    That is the one thing that he was able to fight

    His eyes slowly open and he turns toward me
    He smiles a weak smile and touches my cheek
    I feel myself breakdown and burst into sobs
    trying to say don't die but I could no longer speak

    he grabs my hand and pulls me to him
    reaching for my face he brings me into a kiss
    then he hugs me with such a weak embrace
    I hug him so tight never wanting to end this

    Suddenly he lets go I pull myself slowly up
    He looks at me with such sadness in his eyes
    "I love you sweetheart"he says to me
    "I love you but there will be no goodbyes"

    "I love you to" I sob into his shoulder
    I lay on his chest hearing his heart as I cry
    I feel his breathing slowly fade away
    As i sob to myself I say "its ok this is not goodbye".....

  • Marjan
    18 years ago

    “His warm embrace”

    Warm embrace
    Sweet face
    Shining so bright
    A beautiful sight
    15 years ago
    He told me
    I had to go
    To somewhere else
    I didn’t know
    I was in tears
    Couldn’t think of
    Being away
    For many many years
    He cleaned my tears
    Put his hand
    On my heart
    And told me:
    I will always
    Be here
    So near.
    And smiled.
    A smile I’ll
    Never forget.
    Then I came here
    Forgot his face
    Throughout the years
    But I know he’s here
    With me
    Through thick & thin
    I have no fear.
    Trying to be my best
    Knowing here I’m just a guest
    Missing his
    Warm embrace
    Sweet face
    Shining so bright
    A beautiful sight

  • Marjan
    18 years ago

    Soon to be forgotten
    by Marjan

    Hours fly by
    At a speed oh so high
    Another page is turned
    Someone’s life has burned
    Just an unimportant figure
    In an old wooden frame
    Soon to be forgotten
    Through the shades of time
    Through the mist of mind
    Hidden behind a veil of dust
    Another time, another place
    A new year to face
    I can feel a shiver
    down in my stomach
    an electric shock
    that is sent through my body
    trying to wake me up
    shakes me
    brings me to an understanding
    sound of raindrops
    reminds me of each passing second
    another time, another day,
    another year gone
    another person to be born
    a new day is begun.

    This poem tells how short a life can be.
    And we should get up and do something
    Useful before it gets too late.

  • Marjan
    18 years ago

    My journey
    by Marjan

    Now that I let the words out of the cage
    Let them flow freely on this page
    The sun is setting
    And it's getting dark
    Soon, up so high in the sky
    The stars will spark
    Starting my wander around the world
    Walking on this earth that is way too cold
    On my foot, I cross the land
    A little lamp in my hand
    A coat to keep me warm
    Shoes to keep away the harm
    I keep going on and on
    Sometimes walk and sometimes run
    Until a far away town I can see
    Where under a bridge, there's a family
    I feel ashamed
    At the sight of a little boy
    That his shirt is his only joy
    Taking off my coat
    I wrap it around him
    A smile is the only thing I receive
    Which is the best gift one can ever give
    I keep going
    Strong winds, freezing weather
    Go back home. That's better.
    Warm blankets, hot coffee
    This a voice keeps telling me.
    Not paying attention,
    I keep going
    With my lamp, trying to spread light
    At this dark icy night
    Somewhere, there's a woman
    With unspoken words
    Locked up inside her
    She doesn't have any shoes to wear
    Taking off mine, I give them to her
    She looks at me with her shining eyes
    In them, rest her silent cries
    I pat her on the back
    & disappear at the night so black
    Deep wounds, thorny bushes on the ground
    Utmost peace I have finally found
    With a smiling face, I enter the next city
    I have come to help humanity
    A child at the side of a grave
    For her father she craves
    Sitting beside her for some seconds
    After a while, we become friends
    Trying to ease her pain
    Being a shelter for her in the rain
    At the end, I give her a hug
    Then disappear in the fog
    Tired but happy I return
    A big lesson I have learned
    Now, I'm completely blind
    Leaving my lamp behind
    For the little girl I have met, wants to
    Have a journey around the world too.

    by Marjan Nouhnejad

  • t i f f a n y ♥
    18 years ago

    I'm Sorry.

    I am sorry I have not been perfect,
    During my eighteen years of life.
    I am sorry you think I am anorexic,
    And that I live life by a knife.
    I am sorry I am not the same little girl,
    That I was a short time ago.
    I am sorry that I feel so much pain inside,
    And that you have yet to see me grow.
    I am sorry you must look into these cold eyes,
    And that I have no confidence left to spare.
    I am sorry that I like being away from you,
    And that you hate the clothes I wear.
    I am sorry for keeping things from you,
    And for all my self-destruction.
    I am sorry for making you yell at me,
    And for causing you have that reaction.
    I am sorry for all the times I have sided with Dad,
    And for not feeling a bit of guilt.
    I am sorry for being the reason you damaged,
    The relationship we could have built.
    I am sorry for using your best kitchen knife,
    To slit my wrist for the first time.
    I am sorry for making time spent with me,
    Have to feel like a crime.
    I am sorry for not giving you hugs when you want them,
    And I am sorry for resenting you.
    I am sorry for not having the same beliefs,
    And for always making you argue.
    I am sorry I do not like you,
    And that I cannot forget things you have said.
    I am sorry that each and every day,
    Those words go through my head.
    I am sorry for never calling,
    And that I do not miss you at all.
    I am sorry you had to see me at my worst,
    Sorry you had to see me fall.
    I am sorry I am not the perfect daughter,
    And that I am not who you thought I would be.
    I am sorry, mother, for letting you down,
    I am so sorry for being me.

  • t i f f a n y ♥
    18 years ago

    Peace & Hurtful Words.

    I always feel so god damn alone,
    I cut so deep I hit the bone.
    These tears are falling from my face,
    I may be bleeding, but I will do it with grace.
    You would think I would be use to this by now,
    I promised myself I would stop somehow.
    But the addiction has proven itself stronger than me,
    I hate myself because of what I have come to be.
    A person who cares too much what others do,
    Why hate myself but still bother to love you?
    I constantly tell people I love them and care,
    It is always nice to know someone is there.
    Everyday I am faced with feelings of wanting to die,
    I look at normal people and almost break down and cry.
    They think of their future and see something worth while,
    When I find it hard to live through a day with a smile.
    I envy these people for who they are and their happiness,
    Why must some of us go through life feeling worthless?
    Compassion for others grows while my self hatred stays the same,
    Every time I hurt myself, all I feel is shame.
    But I still do it, however many times I need to,
    All I need to worry about is hiding it from you.
    Which should not be a big deal, since I have done it for five years,
    You will not notice the cuts since you do not notice the tears.
    Naive people think that it is so easy to stop,
    They have never touched a razor; they do not know how hard it is to drop.
    I have heard many hurtful words because of what I do,
    These people just do not realize it helps me to get through.
    I am not saying this is good and I am not saying that it is right,
    They do not have to agree with me, but they could at least be polite.
    Take your head out of your ass and try to do something nice,
    You do not have to like it, but realize this is my vice.
    I am not going to stop for you or for the mean things you say,
    And I am not going to explain what made me this way.
    When I finally stop, it will be only for me,
    Because I am at peace with who I came to be.

  • t i f f a n y ♥
    18 years ago

    Let's Pretend.

    This fragile thing is broken now,
    And cannot be put together.
    But lets pretend like the pieces fit,
    Maybe it will all get better.
    Lets just pretend like everything is okay,
    And maybe eventually it will be.
    But it feels like nothing will ever go right,
    And I just hate being me.
    I seem to lose myself sometimes,
    And I just forget about everything.
    Everyone has forgotten about me,
    So why do I even bother thinking.
    I think about how I felt last night,
    And then about how I felt the night before.
    It is the same way I felt for the past five years,
    Of that I can be sure.
    I can pretend that I will be just fine,
    Pretending like I do not care.
    But inside I am screaming,
    Trying to wake from this nightmare.
    I know the truth is you do not care,
    Because you can not possibly understand.
    You have no god damn idea,
    The pain I have to withstand.
    You claim that you love me,
    Yet you do not even try.
    You sit there like nothing is wrong,
    As another tear falls from my eye.
    I try my best to explain to you,
    I cannot help that I want to die.
    You hear my words so perfectly,
    But do not even wonder why.

  • Pure Silence
    18 years ago

    Hey Juls!

    my entry issssss: Beauty Queen of 16

    On the eve of her sweet sixteen disappointment arises
    The forever-invisible girl will make no acceptation tonight
    Speaking with her past daemons she loses her battle
    Sweet Blissful dreams

    Alone in her room she lies, a tub for ice-cream at her feet
    Thrown confetti lies forgotten upon the blood soaked carpet
    No abuse will be fall upon her tonight, no more dreams lost
    Happy Birthday whispers.

    In the serial background plays the wretched song she loved
    How's it going to be when she is finally found alone, unloved
    Silent tears run the length of her forgotten-paled cheeks
    Beauty Queen of 16

    Alone Again Yet Misery Is Gone...

  • silhouette fairy
    18 years ago

    Killer: Love
    by Even roses have thorns

    She looks into his eyes
    seeing his every thought
    he knows she's doing it
    quietly he tells her, he loves her
    she smiles looking around
    no one knows but them
    she tells him she is in love, also
    only her eyes show it
    but she will never tell who
    the boy thinks they love each other
    slowly they drift,
    her real love never known
    Now with words she tells him,
    I've never loved you!
    off she runs
    afraid of what could happen
    dumbfounded he follows
    looking for answers
    she turns down an alleyway
    when he reaches it no one is there
    looking around for the love he lost
    finding her no where he leaves
    now traveling home he begins to cry,
    you left me, i should have known
    everyone that i love leaves
    but there is one,
    the only friend i have
    he returns home,
    a small little shack,
    he picks up the silver
    his only friend
    it touches his arm
    cringing, he presses down
    seeing the blood
    smiling, pressing harder
    this is my last breath
    he shouts, as he slowly
    fades away

  • silhouette fairy
    18 years ago

    Valentine's Day
    by Even roses have thorns

    They sit together
    on the lover's holiday
    cuddling, and smiling
    acting lovey dovey
    he knows she wants to die sometimes
    she thinks there might be someone else
    they part in their ways
    he goes to the one he loves
    she to the one that loves her
    she holds the cold metal, his photo
    crying why couldn't you love me
    like the way you love her
    she holds the blade closer
    thinking "walk the sidewalk"
    she gets closer to her want
    he now feels her pain
    leaving his lover
    he runs down the road
    now she is thinking "no turning back"
    the blade "walks the sidewalk"
    now turning, it "crosses the street"
    he reaches her house
    tears running down their eyes
    she clutches the note
    he clutches the nob
    just a second too late
    she lays there motionless
    kneeling beside her
    he reads the note
    "we both can't get what we want"
    he knows, though no one else does.
    he now belongs to her
    she got her wish
    but he shall not
    that was her happy ending
    but his sorrowful beginning

  • silhouette fairy
    18 years ago

    Her last words
    by Even roses have thorns

    He lifts his eyes
    as she runs to him
    she is crying
    but why he isn't sure
    the he sees another person
    chasing her, why?
    she reaches him
    holding her, she begs him to save her
    "just wait, he won't hurt you"
    "oh but he will," she cries
    "the one you should run from is me"
    opening his mouth
    revealing his fangs
    she gives out a scream
    "oh please someone help me!"
    it rings through the forest
    for those are truly
    her last words

  • imnotlikethem
    18 years ago

    At least I know you're in Heaven......

    Why did God let this happen?!!!!!!!
    he was my best friend..........
    yes, he was also the love of my life.
    So...why did it have to end?!!!!!!!!!

    In loving memory of my boyfriend who is still very much alive in my heart, Adam.
    I love you, sweetheart.

    I know it's really short..I'll write another one about him VERY soon.....so please check in on it later....I'm still in shock and i'm not sure what to write.

  • imnotlikethem
    18 years ago

    I used to be sad...but listen to me now!

    I'm not really sure of my true feelings anymore.
    It was all so clear and easy to explain before.

    But, now it's...just....so hard.
    now my heart is permanently scarred.

    I still think it's your fault, but you think it's mine.
    All I know know is I used to cry over "us" but now I'm fine.

    So, whether or not you still care
    I'm over it, this I swear.

    I'm going to remind you of what you lost,
    So, here it is, no matter what it may cost.

    my eyes so chocalatly brown, you could melt,
    my luscious body you once felt.

    my shiny, romanticly wavy dark brown hair,
    which is so soft it flows with the air.

    I know you can't forget my deliciously, tantalizing lips
    you look and I walk away with my great figure and hips.

    that's just my really short list.
    and to think I was the one you kissed

    The last thing I have to say explains itself.
    If I wasn't so busy I'd date myself.

  • imnotlikethem
    18 years ago

    I already Know.......

    I know you hate me.
    I know I shouldn't be.
    I know all the things you say.
    so, I promise I won't stay.
    For you I'll do anything.

    I wish I could tell you how I feel
    and you'd care and make my heart heal.
    But I don't stand a fuckin' chance
    and you've made that very clear!

    Never forget what I'm about to say
    for it may be the last thing I write.
    I truly loved you
    and you ripped out my heart
    and stomped on it with a big smile.
    and I STILL love you.

    Now, is that True Love?
    YES! but you don't give a shit, do you?

  • The Angel of Secrets
    18 years ago

    "Just a little blood"

    She sits and thinks about the meaning of life,
    She can't even feel her wrist touching the knife.
    "Just a little blood" she thinks in her mind,
    As the blood poars, pain and tears are combined.
    "This pain is better than any other pain",
    she says to herself when it shoots through every vein.
    She grabbes a towel and puts it over the voom,
    This is her end, this is her doom.
    Her sight is weakened, she going blind,
    As she thinks to herself, she doesn't really mind.
    Her death is unimportant, no one will care,
    "They won't even notice, I was never even there",
    A wet and shiny tear falls down her cheek,
    As everything goes black, some words she tries to speak.
    She forces the words forward as her final last breath,
    "Just a little blood" she says, "will lead to my death"

  • master of shadow
    18 years ago

    3? Ok…..

    Tell me not…

    Speak not to me of hope and light,
    For both these are gone,
    Speak not of love and safety,
    And all that they can bring,
    For I am not un-versed in such things,
    I know of the joy they can convey,
    But also of the pain,
    The emptiness their absence endures,
    How fragile their existence is,
    Say not that things will get better,
    For we both know that is untrue,
    These lies like flaming arrows,
    Burn holes within my soul,
    Tell me not of the future,
    And all that it may bring,
    All the happiness and the joy,
    The light, hope and relief,
    My thoughts cannot go there,
    Such things I cannot comprehend,
    The dark mist is thickening,
    You can see it as well as I,
    Yet you deny its presence,
    Prefer to live a lie,
    Speak not to me of light and hope,
    These are long since lost,
    Once I may have believed you,
    That things may improve,
    But such a time seems an age away,
    Life has shattered many times since then,
    And been lost into the dark abyss,
    Swallowed by the black sea,
    Sunk, lost and never to return,
    Speak not to me of live,
    For mine is almost though,
    Tell me not to be strong,
    That if I wait things will improve,
    That things will be fine,
    With these lies I cannot cope,
    Life shattered and a broken soul,
    Death looms,
    And the end is nie.

    Life

    Life is like a river,
    It twists and turns,
    Its course cannot be determined,
    Nor can it be controlled,
    Many routes that it may take,
    But all end up the same,
    All reach the ocean,
    A chasm in this world,
    Made deep by the tears of misery,
    And wide by the suffering and pain,
    This is were we are all destined,
    It is were we all will be,
    What happens before matters not,
    For we all end up this way.

    Turn to dust

    Fear no more the light of the sun,
    Nor the storm that will forever rage,
    For life's task is almost done,
    Think no more of life's cage,
    For no matter who we all must,
    One day surrender, fall to dust,

    Forget about all that has come to pass,
    All that forever haunts your sleep,
    Fear no more the lightning flash,
    Think not of the scars that run so deep,
    For our time is nie, go we must,
    Leave this life and turn to dust.

    So leave we will,
    Leave this darkness,
    Climb that final hill,
    What we'll find I cannot guess,
    But it must be better than here,
    So come now, come turn to dust,
    For there's nothing more to fear.

  • holly
    18 years ago

    S.O.S.
    by Alice

    Im saying that im scared
    im saying someone help me
    im saying i cant cope
    but no one understands

    i cry myself to sleep
    i miss you all so bad
    I want to tell somebody
    but no one understands

    i need a helicopter
    or a rescue plane
    to fly in here and save me
    but no one understands

    i want someone to love me
    to put their arm around me
    to say that it'll be okay,
    but noone understands.

    i dont know how to tell them
    why should i try at all
    its best to keep it hidden
    because noone understands.

  • alwaysremeniceus
    18 years ago

    Pain

    Whenever we're like this,
    when life seems like hell,
    everything seems to go so wrong,
    I wonder if things will ever get well.

    But even when everything seems fine,
    behind those eyes is where your pain lies,
    it hurts so much to see them,
    but I pretend its OK and try to make time fly.

    Whenever I think about you,
    and all that you go through,
    I remember how useless i am,
    since I can't do anything to make you feel less blue.

    Maybe my surface means nothing,
    it shows nothing like what is underneath,
    but I know it'll all just going to cause us all more heartbreak,
    if i show any weakness, our pain will only be a time thief.

    All your friends think I don't care,
    sometimes i wonder if I am wrong again,
    but I know things will only be worst if I did not stay strong,
    I hope that you will never ever see my pain.

    Suicidal Love

    Seven months minus one,
    just one day left,
    for them it was never just fun,
    sometimes they argued so much they wish they were deaf.

    she asked him whats the point of all this,
    he said he doesn't want to ruin her life anymore,
    but the truth is even with arguments she thinks its pure bliss,
    but he doesn't get it and it won't be like before.

    tonight they weep,
    silence is their song,
    while other people try to sleep,
    she wonders what went wrong.

    silence continues to play,
    he cuts his wrist and suddenly faints,
    she feels so much pain, and will learn to hate this day,
    as his friends hide everything that can kill, including paint.

    in his bag they find sleeping pills,
    even the receipt,
    realizing how bad they are going downhill,
    and how his behavior lately is all just deceit.

    even though he's still alive right now,
    she wonders if they will ever be free like a dove,
    but for now all she thinks is who what where when and how,
    why did this relationship become a suicidal love?

    When I Close My Eyes

    When we blink,
    when we sleep,
    we close our eyes,
    sometimes even just to think.

    when we close our eyes,
    we shut reality out,
    our hopes and dreams take over,
    time just comes and flies by.

    when i closed my eyes before,
    i would see you and me,
    living our dreams,
    now i only see what i saw that night by the door.

    i just stood there and stared at your back,
    into the darkness,
    our surroundings disappear,
    all i see is your pain, and the things we lack.

    you glanced back to look at me,
    all the fear, pain and all the other emotions in the darkness,
    i couldn't do anything to make it go away,
    all i could do was watch and let things be.

    so now I'm scared to sleep,
    scared to blink,
    confused and lonely,
    remembering how frightened i was to weep.

    seconds, minutes, hours, days continue to pass by,
    and i still remember the pain in your eyes,
    but i return to relive that moment,
    whenever i close my eyes.

  • Deonte Bennett
    18 years ago

    Barbie and Ken 101

    Sometimes i feel like I'm sittin in the back row of Barbie and Ken 101
    a class we all are in, but we never seem to learn from
    some general ed requirement for Students of American Culture
    a GE that convinces even the brightest of young women
    that sex is survival of the thinnest
    and I'm sick of this education that doesn't serve our best interests
    my teacher has a face
    she is every Revlon model women have ever chased
    her lectures come through magazines, in beauty shops, and ad campaigns
    just turn on your tv
    "this just in"
    a skewed perspective for todays youth that ladies aren't thin enough
    guys aren't trim enough
    people don't go to the gym enough
    "cut to commercial"
    come on just come tune into our maintenance team
    they convince you you're ugly enough then tell you how to fix it with maybeline
    perpetually started by these dolls
    marketed in the late 50's
    Barbie and Ken
    hence the class I'm in
    are you following?
    they keep moldin Barbie to fit new trends
    next they'll make club hoppin Barbie
    with Gucci and prada bags as accessories
    video girl Barbie
    abusive boyfriend sold separately
    under aged Barbie
    Kobe Bryant included
    or 9/11 victim Barbie
    and ken is proud to get recruited
    the problem is all these teachings are a womans decay
    and I'm startin to worry because my girl is upfront and shes gettin an A
    this is where i start to get a little mad ok
    where the heck did it become all about tuckin in the gut
    i gotta get a bigger chest
    i wanna fit a little better in this dress
    so let me get a little skinny
    gotta fit into an itty bitty size slimmer so I'm livin up to the rest
    please
    teacher teacher, i wanna give my oral presentation
    cuz i have a problem with this class
    and a matter of fact
    i have a big grudge with the whole administration
    you're the reason my girl wont eat in front of me in restaurants
    you're the reason that she thinks shes over weight in over 10 spots
    less gut less pudge less lunch less real?
    more looks more love more Barbie appeal?
    i hate Barbie and ken
    my future daughter will never play with them
    you're the reason bleedin 15 yr olds girls' arms are slit
    you made 12 yr olds think skinny was a compliment
    and now its too late
    i cant write my way through this bathroom door
    so i raise my hand in class because i cant stand it anymore
    teacher teacher your lectures are all back wards
    you've got mothers and daughters forgetting what matters
    the most attractive women are the ones who don't care
    so forget your teachings your lessons and plans
    you skewed sick distant relative of the man
    your plan for brainwashing my baby i reject
    I'm walkin out of this class and i will proudly
    take my F