38 Ways To Dump Your Date Without Hurting Him =)
-
TinyDancer46
18 years ago
38 Ways To Dump Your Date Without Hurting Him
1. Guard your plate with forks and knives and act like you'll stab anyone who reaches for it, including the waiter.
2. Collect salt shakers from all the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower formation on your table.
3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
4. Make faces at other people, and sneer at their reactions.
5. Repeat every third word you say.
6. Read a newspaper during the meal, ignoring your date.
7. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth. Ask if he's a slayer.
8. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what he's talking about.
9. Every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched while making airplane sounds.
10. Order a bucket of lard.
11. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This is especially fun in fancy places with linen tablecloths.
12. When ordering, ask if the restaurant has any live food.
13. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more of his food than he does.
14. Drool.
15. Talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.
16. Scarf down everything on your plate in thirty seconds.
17. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go to the hostess and ask for another table. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him, "What took you so long in the bathroom?"
18. Ask the people at the next table if you can taste their food.
19. Beg your date to tattoo your name on his bicep.
20. Order something nasty for your date. Act offended if he refuses to eat it.
21. Ask for a seat away from the windows where you have a good view of all exits and keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.
22. Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
23. Hum loudly in monotone.
24. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements--anything that isn't bottled down.
25. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.
26. Throughout the meal, speak in Pig Latin.
27. Take a bathroom break. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on one of the chairs. Say they need airing out.
28. Bring 20 or so candles with you. During the meal, arrange them in a circle around the table. Chant.
29. Order your food by colors and textures, then sculpt.
30. Insist the waiter cut your food into tiny pieces.
31. Accuse your date of being a spy.
32. Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
33. Feed imaginary friends you brought with you.
34. Better yet, feed the dolls you brought with you.
35. Shoot hoops with shrimp into his water glass.
36. Every time your date opens his mouth, interrupt and start a new conversation.
37. Burp. Score it according to Olympic standard.
38. After kissing him, explain you're doing a study on the spread of mononucleosis. -
F@n©y Ket©hup
18 years agoNumber 17 was super-funny.=D
~Atomic -
*BeAuTiFuLlY*iNaDeQuEtE*
18 years agogenious, pure genious
Am gonna have to try some of them!
love
XxFeEBeDeExX -
-
Nikkita Hill
18 years agois it bad that ive truely done ALL of these?
-
Xox P.a.U.L.i.n.A xoX
18 years agoCOOL LoL lemme try them , Not in public though LMFAO
-
mandieD
18 years agoomg i have so many ideas now to try n get my fool to still buy me sh*t but not want to go out with me no more and wen he tells me he dont wanna go out with me i can blame him and him alone for the breakup. hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
and............ the customary "evil laugh"
mwahh ha ha haaaa -
beyond help
18 years agohee hee
