X is still on my mind

I had this boyfriend for about 3 months, then I broke up with him for another guy I think it was just because i was getting bored and my boyfriend was too. Well after about 5 months we got back together because we just couldn't stay away from eachother, and i just fell in love with him, i mean deeply madly fully and truely in love. Well I'd been having family problems, my dad was an alcoholic, and he was a mean drunk, a little abusive. Well finally my mom kicked my dad out. So I was all happy, and I had the man of my dreams, who I just kept falling more in love with by the day, so my boyfriend and i had been dating the second time for about 4 months, and my dad died.... I had the hardest time with it. The last time i saw my dad I had visited him and he locked me out, then finally opened the door and gave me a hug and said he loved me, i was really mad that he locked me out so I never said I love you back. So I just had a rough time. Well my boyfriend was not great at helping me through but he did his best, I just felt crowded and we grew apart in about a week after my dad died and I broke up with him because I couldn't stand getting any closer to him and losing him like i did my dad. So the guy just won't take me back.... this was about 6 months ago and I STILL LOVE HIM!! We don't talk anymore, but i just look at him and i fall in love all over again....
So do I need to put on a blindfold and forget him, or try to work things out again.... oh and I have a boyfriend, it's my X's best friend, he's great and I TRY to love him, I just can't love him because I"m still in love with his best friend!! he's a great boyfriend, I love his parents and he's great with my mom, but I can't love him completely because i"m still hung up any tips on moving on? Should i try and get the guy back??

now don't be offended with this in ANY way. i'm not trying to sound rude or anything, but it sounds like your ex has moved on. save yourself the heartache of trying to get him back and being rejected. and you can't try to love someone...you'll just know. someone better will come along and help you through thick and thin. bad and good.
it sounds like you've had a pretty rough time, and i can't imagine how you feel. but you can not always be afraid to lose the one you love. you have to take risks in life.
my apologies if i sounded rude. and i am truly sorry about your dad.
hope everything goes well for you,
lauren