Communication problems with bf

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice or experienced any communications with their bf/gf before. Communication has always been a problem between me and my boyfriend, (when i was 14 and he was 16, and still now 2 years later...) and since our relationship is mostly based online although we live close by, communication is also very important. We are always afraid of hurting eachother, and whenever he is hurt, or somethng is bothering him, I ask him, and he will say he is tired. I understand that he is really tired most of the time, but sometimes he completely ignores me for atleast half an hour, or just not talk to me for days. Often, I will have to talk to his best friends to find out what is wrong, and sometimes even they don't know. Now, he says that I don't tell him when I am hurt, but I do try to tell him. Recently, I had a dream that he was leavng for university, and I may never see him again. I wrote him a letter, and brought the scarf, necklace, and ring i bought/ made for him to the mall, and his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend dragged him to a mall. I found them and I gave him the stuff, and i just watched him read the letter, just when he was about to find the ring, I left crying. I didn't know how to tell him, and I know it hurts him a lot. I tried to tell him, but I guess it was a bad time. But even before then, he went on his best friend's girlfriend's ccomputer and found out about it.

Now, we are about to break up... we love eachother a lot, and I don't want us to break up since I know we will both regret it a lot.
I would appreciate it if anyone has any advice or experiences they would like to share

-kelsie

Hey - This sounds so, so sad :-(

As I was reading it, it was strange because this same thing has been happening to me recently with my boyfriend - now ex. We live fairly close to each other and see each other every day at school, but we always seem to talk way more online than when we see each other.
Last night we split up because he said we never talk to each other, and I'm always sad (that made me angry because I thought he understood depression doesnt disappear overnight *duh*) but anyway....
We really do love each other, but he said it just isn't working or whatever. I think you can't just rely on the fact you love each other, I think if you want to stay with him you're going to have to make an effort to talk to him and sort it out soon.
I really hope it works out for you, let me know
(and sorry for the rant, I'm very worked up about it all :s)

- Polly

Hey. Communication problems are Very common, and I too experience them Alot with my bf. Though, the two of us have come to the conclusion that there are just some things we don't want to talk about - and have agreed that if we don't want to talk about it, that we'll respect eachothers boundaries and simply get on with it. When it has something to do with him being sad, of course I want to know why, but when he doesn't want to tell me - I don't quite get past it I just work around it. Rather than guessing what's wrong or trying to get him to think about it, I distract us both with some random question or fact... Try and keep him smiling...
I hate to get into my relationship too much, but I'm using it as a reference here, so if I may... My bf can go days with being depressed and not smile and never will he tell me why. It bothers the hell out of me and sometimes he gets bitter, and I just want to smack the sense back into him. But I won't lol. And that's one reason I wouldn't recommend that 'understanding' of respecting eachothers space. Thus, if you're going to do what I did with my bf, make sure that the secrets he'll be keeping won't be huge. So make a deal that if he is feeling bad, you won't dwell on it... Or something? *sigh* obvoiusly I didn't think this through before trying to type it and have it make sense. But I'm trying.
The main point to all this is just to say, sometimes his privacy is his and there's nothing you can do about it - nor nothing you Have to do about it. And right now you shouldn't worry about that part of communication anyway. If you're going to talk to him now, you need to confess up to things just as he does. Tell him how this 'no communication' thing makes you feel. Come up with some sort of compromise that will work for the both of you...
Anyway, I would hate to see another broken heart around here (or anywhere) so I wish you all the best of luck. I'm sorry I couldn't be of much more help.