my freshman year of high school...

i know that this might be long...but i really need help..and i need somene to talk to..so please read this..it would mean alot to me!

My Freshman Year

High school started off to be an awesome year. I loved high school and had a lot of fun with my friends. Homecoming was right around the corner, and we were all wondering what we were going to wear, who to go with, and what to do afterwards. When the night came, everyone was ready to dance! All of my friends and I danced tall through the night, but when the time came to leave we wished that it would never end. We went outside into the cold brisk air and waited for our parents to pick us up.

Shortly after the homecoming dance, I realized that a guy liked me. His name was Lloyd, and I had known him for about a year, ever since I moved to Alaska. But I never thought of him more than a friend. That night he called me and told me how he liked me for a while now and we both decided that we should be together.

As the days passed by, we went to the movies together, walked around town, hung out at lunch, and talked after school. As days turned into weeks, it seemed as though time passed so quickly. But there were times when we would not talk to each other, and this made both of us closer together.

It was about the end of October when I and Annie were the closest of friends and we would have fun at school, after school, and on the weekends. But one day in biology, one of my friends Zoe asked me of I was selling pot. This came as a big shock to me. Why would one of my friends ask me that? As the day went on, there were rumors that I and Annie had pot. After school, Annie told me that Danielle also asked her the same thing. The next day, seniors, juniors, and even sophomores were asking me and Annie for pot. So me and Annie made the choice that this had to come to an end.

As we walked into the councilor's office, she asked what had happened. We told her what was going on and she said that we needed to talk to the vice principle about the situation. We told the vice principle the same thing. He said that he would have a word with them soon, and he would make this all stop.

The bell rang; I went to my locker to get my books for the next class the next thing I knew here came Zoe and Danielle coming my way. The first thing they said was "why did you turn us in?" I answered "I don't know, maybe because random people were asking me and Annie for pot!" At this point Annie was saying nothing and I was standing there trying to explain what happened, but of course, they didn't believe me. So I said "forget it I am going to class, if you are not going to listen to me then I am done."

By the end of the day, Zoe and Danielle had told everyone that we were lying and that we made it all up to get them in trouble. At this moment, every one believed them and wanted nothing to do with me or Annie. When I came home I would show that nothing was wrong. I guess I felt as though I could not talk to my parents about it, because I thought that I could solve it myself. But that was not the case.

I received a call around 9:30, it was Annie saying that Zoe made a group of people called "the Lindsay haters" and they wanted her to join. She said no, that I was her best friend and she would never do that. This was the point were it had gone too far. I started to cry because I never had anyone do this to me before. A few minutes later, I realized that I had to tell my parents what was going on. After I explained everything, they said that they would have to talk to the vice principle about the issue.

About two weeks later, I went up to Lloyd and I wanted to talk to him about what was going on with him because we didn't talk to each other for a few days. But he said "I am busy talking to my friends right now." I replied "ok then I need to talk to you after you are done." About fifteen minutes later, I went up to him again and said I need to talk to you. But he said the same thing. This made me kind of upset because I wanted to tell what was going on. So I made the decision to break up with him. As I thought it through, it was something that I really regret. We went out for two months and it seemed like six. I needed to talk to some one, and he just ignored me.

Christmas break slowly crept its way in. But this Christmas break, I stayed with my mom. As Christmas came closer, we were all excited to open up what everyone had given us. Finally, it was time! We quickly opened out presents and were amazed at what we had received. When I opened the last present that I had left, I was not prepared for what was about to happen. I opened the box and there was another one, I open that one and right then I started to cry. It was something more than what I had asked for. It was an Ipod Video! That was the first time that I was so happy that I stared to cry.

When I returned to school, everything was not like it used to be. At this point, I had no friends. I felt like I had no one to talk to. But I realized that I should not let anything get to me any more. At the beginning of that week, my mom and Step-dad went to the school and talked to Mr. Beck and Mrs. Fellows, the councilor. They asked what my grades were, and they were shocked to find out that I was failing language arts. They came to the conclusion that every class that I had with Zoe or Danielle, I had a bad grade. It was too late in the semester to bring it up and there was nothing that I could do. But I told myself to move on and I stayed strong and pulled through.

It wasn't until about the 21st of January that I found someone that I could talk to. That was David Mccune. He had asked me that day if we could hang out, but I told him that I wasn't sure and I had to ask my parents about it. Later that night, I received a call on my cell phone. It was David. I told him that I was in the middle of eating and that I would call him later. I talked it over with my parents and the said that they would have to meet him before he could take me anywhere. I called him on the phone when I got home and told him about what my parents had said. He replied "well, when can I come over, tomorrow?" I said "yeah, that would be great!" After I got off the phone, I rushed in my room and started to clean everything. After that was all finished, I started on the rest of the house. By the time I was done, it was midnight. I called it a day and went to bed.

It was around 1:00 p.m. when David called saying that he was on his way. I did a few things to tidy the house and went outside to wait for him. As he walked into the door, I introduced him to my family and showed him around the house. The first thing that we did was play Star Wars on the play station. Then after he beat us all, he and I went back to my room. We talked about Lloyd, his mom, and all the things that were going on in his life. After about two hours, it was time to eat dinner. We quickly ate and then went to a movie shortly after.

During the movie I felt that he and I should be together. After the movie, we stepped outside; the cold snow hit my face as we went to the other side of the building. It was then that he asked me "will you go out with me?" I replied with a yes and soon after that, my step-dad was there to pick me up.
That following weekend, I and David spent the whole day together. We went to the movies around 6:00 p.m. and then we went to eat dinner at Don Jose's. Then his dad picked us up and we headed to his house. When we got to their home, he showed me around, and then we went up to his room. He played the electric guitar for me, and I was so amazed! He was really good! I had never seen anyone play before. It was like I was at a rock concert. The evening ended too fast and it was time for me to go home. I got home around 12:00 p.m. and went to bed.

After that night, I really didn't have any time with David. It seemed as though we drifted away. It wasn't until the 13th of February that things started to get hard for me. I got a call that night; it was my dad telling me that my great grandpa had passed away. I cried, I guess I never really talked to him and that is what hurt me the most. I never got to say good-bye. That night I stayed up late making David a valentine to put in his locker. I had never done this before, so it was very interesting to make.

Valentines Day at school was very weird. While everyone was having a good day, it seemed as though I was the only one that was feeling sad. I got to school and I had no one to talk to. David was to busy talking to his friends and I needed to tell what had happened. Later that night I checked my e-mail and read one that was from David saying that he wanted to break up with me. I started to cry in tears, I called Mia (my closest friend) and I told her what had happened. I cried on the phone for about an hour and a half. Finally, I got off the phone and had to tell my parents what had just happened. Then I cried for another two hours until I almost had no more tears to cry. I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

Up until now, I still don't understand why he broke up with me. But I guess something does remain unsaid. There is now a scar in my heart that will never go away. I still hope that someday we will find each other again. But now I realize that I can never take back what I never had.

***to let you guys know...me and david are now the best of friends...funny how things work out....but now i have nowhere to go...i don't know what to do....***

**where do i go from here and what should i do?**

**thanks everyone**
~*Linz*~

wow girl that was REALLY long.......well i think u need to go on with life as normally as you possibly can....and if people dont like you at school, just tell them to f@#& off....be yourself, dont change for ANYBODY.......the hurt is gonna be there..but eventually it will get easier!! i promise!! but if u ever need anyone you can always talk to me ok!!!! so if u need anyone to talk to email me at sjewell_2008@hotmail.com

hey thanks...i need some one to talk to right now...thank you for understanding and caring!

***any one else want to say anything.... it would mean alot to me..**

anyone???

Don't think about the past...just move forward. You never did anything wrong. If people don't like you, you can tell them where to stick it. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to e-mail me at Ice_Bluez69@hotmail.com

thanks.. i really need people to talk to right now... all my friends turned on me...thanks for being there!..i am sure that i will e-mail ya!