How to give a cat a pill

If you've ever done this, You know that it is not much of an exaggeration!

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call firemen to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet mignon steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters

lol-that was very funny. i have had to do the pill thing with my cat, and i can say i had so many marks on my arms from that! i just sat on him and shoved it down his throat...very fun!! well that was a very funny little story (is it true?!?!) good job...lol!

no, I don't think it's true.... well, not for me anyway... and not to that extreme... I have done more than one of the things listed though at different times and with different cats. The cat I have now has never had to have any pills. I've had cats though that were really good about taking pills and some that would have nothing to do with the whole mess!

I have to give my cat a pill every day, i find the best way is to put it in their mouth, then blow gently in their face, that makes them swallow..most of the time..the other is, after you have wiped away the blood from your scratch, rub their throat up and down real quick but not too hard..and they usually swallow then too.

good job lol

LMFAO!!!!! anybody who didn't laugh at this or talks about animal cruelty or some such stuff doesn't understand that it's a joke.....i got 2 cats myself and they're a pain, but can't help but luv em. aww sometimes when they look at me i think they're saying "DIE DIE DIE".

How to give a cat a pill:

Put it in cheese.

lol, flicking it down the cat's throat with a rubber band... you're one sick kid! sick... but funny as hell. nice