knockdown life, 5 years of the game

its now have been 5 years tryin to look for a gf. these 5 years have been hard mentally. i admit im not attractive and my personality is average but im honest. however being honest isnt a good thing which i have learnt . girls have lead me on and say at the end "can we be friends" and they go on to say how good i am, personality wise. it hurts me being on a goose chase and u be told "can we be friends". its lame, its the easy way of saying "no,i dont like u". i guess they dont want to hurt me but being on a chase in vain; putting the effort to be there wiv them, get my full attension and listen to every words they say, hurts me more. i have played the long game (being patience), its mentally challenging but every time i get the result i dont want.im kinda disillusion by reality and i feel finding someone is ripping me apart. i dont like my single life. some say using online dating is a sign a desperate man, to be frank my confidence have been rock bottom and me optimistic is fading after each corner, i cant go up to a girl now cos my head is thinking negatively. i want to be with someone to lean on wen the times are hard and show me care and love which a friend nor family cant present to u. i want to feel that some one out there is thinking abt me and to feel signifcant to that person. i suppose i'll keep on trying and probably hurt myself again. things doesnt come to, you got to take it, for me after 5 years what i take is a bitter pill.

First of all, millions of people have been turning to online relationships. Second of all, you shouldn't worry about what other people think of anything (including their opinion on internet relationships), this is your life and you have to think for yourself. I mean it's good to listen to what people think, but don't work around what they say, work around what youthink and feel. Do what you think needs to be done or what you think is right... However, saying that - I want to warn you that internet dating isn't exactly the best solution anyway. Especially if it's going to be with someone a long distance from you... The good thing about it is, they don't get to judge the book by its cover - for they have only one choice, to judge the book by it's pages. I'm sure you get what I mean by that. Looks won't influence either of you......

But moving on, you're only 19. You have so many years ahead of you to find 'the one' (if you believe in that - and if you don't then- 'A one' ). Don't give up now. I know it's probably seems like it's about time to stop trying so hard as I can see you've been hurt/let down alot - but why not keep going?Why not try to find someone? Where will giving up take you?... Plus, it will only add strength, character and knowledge to keep trying. I'm sure you've learnt alot about girl through how much you've said you've listened and talked to them. That's a Huge advantage you have right there - it's hard to understand us and know what we want, we're complex creatures :P. lol.

You just need to try and look in new places. Go for the girls you never thought you'd go for. You might find something you 'never knew you always wanted'. Just don't give up. Best of luck in your search, good luck :)

-Stefhy