Here's the truth #2

Wow, that was massively honest, I bet you'd love to talk to someone face to face about this stuff? I was a bit of a hermitt not so long ago.

And man am i glad i finally scraped up the courage and understanding to push myself out there into the big wonderful slightly intimadating world.

I really hope you can share yourself with someone on any level that is honest and deep. Misery and being alone is easy...and there are so many ways you can trick yourself into thinking life is ok like that and it's better for you..etc etc...it's all crap.

people are not meant to be alone for long periods of time...it's not healthy buddy...really it's not...and I know from experience.

Good luck getting out there...always here if you wanna chat.

Kevin.

wow ken, i dont think i could ever be that honest ever. that took guts to open up like that.

*hugs ken*

im basically a loner/outcast.. it seems like no one notices me.. but oh well... guess it's the way i dress or w/e

Here I go....

*I'm allergic to most antiboditics, I get this thing called oral thursh.

*I have a weak immune system.

*I hope things havent changed between me and 'him' becuase I love him with all my heart.

*I throw up everyday because its the only thing I can handle during the day.

*I just want someone to listen to me and know they care without them saying anything.

there you go...

*julie*

Its pretty darn long, but I'm doing this for me.. lol... you don't have to read it.

♥ I've danced for 12 years, and I'm crazy about it.

♥ Poetry is literally on my mind 24/7. Especially when I witness something sad.

♥ I'm a peer tutor and help handicapped kids at my school. Sometimes I start to cry because they are so smart and so special in their own way, yet many fail to see that because they judge them first.

♥ I was a cheerleader last year, but I didn't make it this year, and neither did my friend. Ha, how pathetic is that?! *grins*

♥ I'm only 5 feet tall, and wear a size 4 1/2 to 5 in shoes. I pretend hating to be so small, but in all honesty, I kind of like it.

♥ I am one of the few non-mormons in my entire state. (Utah). Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but I pretend it doesn't bug me.

♥ It took me forever to get up the guts to answer this thread

♥ I've never done anything crazy in my life; for example: Never drank, never smoked, never did drugs, and I've never even made out =)

♥ I always throw away my chance at happiness by pushing away relationships even if deep down I want to be with them. This is because of a past guy who let me down pretty bad... I wish I could just get over it.

*The Serious Things That Most Don't Know*

♥ I lost my best friend to a motorcycle wreck on July 4th. I loved him... Everyone around me seems to have moved on from it, but I have had the hardest time. It still hasn't hit me that he's really gone forever this time...

♥ My cousin killed herself the day before her 22nd birthday.

♥ A family member was charged for rape. (He's innocent). He's been in jail since I was 6.

♥ Sometimes I go days without eating, until I wind up dry-heaving or fainting.

♥ I'm afraid that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, and never find someone who truly loves me for me.

♥ I'm sarcastic and joke around alot because I don't want people to see right through me.

♥ Admitting these things to you guys is actually really hard for me...

Wow, I never knew that, by me making a simple Thread about the Truth, would turn into a huge succes, and with that being said, Kudos to all of you that have posted in either this or the other Thread.

Peace, Joe

Serious things about me:

*At fourteen I dated this boy who told me down the line he tried to commit suicide.

*I thought I could change that even though I had trouble remembering his emotionally abusive behavior. I.E wanting me to spend a lot of time with him.

*Was sexually assaulted at fourteen by him. I'm glad it didn't go as far as rape but still sad that it happened. It'll be two years since next month.

*after that happened and school started again, I insulted this mean girl in class and her friends threatened to beat me up.

*Had and still has a habit of kicking things when I am mad or thinking about what had happened to me.

*When I remember things accidently, I have what seems lke either a small panic attack or a flashback which is kind of painful when shaken off.

*Wanted to be a writer for years.

*Has a hard time admitting the above to people for fear of being judged, more friends not talking to me, or mapnipulated into something I'm afraid to do.

- I've reconsidered answering this thread over and over again.

- I let labels bother me, and it has been proven because i have argued with so many people about them.

- I am addicted to my prescription medication.

- I am trying to quit this addiction independently because i don't want to worry anyone else.

- I'm unhappy because my mom is happy because she's with her ex-boyfriend again...and i feel horrible and selfish.

- I always feel horrible and selfish because i know that it's probably what i really am.

- I put off a front to everyone that i know, but nobody knows that i'm really insecure and that i feel misplaced.

- I feel pathetic confessing my whiny little confessions.

- And finally...i'm coming to terms with my true sexuality. There's no one that actually knows me that knows besides a friend that read one of my journals and found out...

//Ari\\

here i go again

~ i depend on my friends to much and sometimes think that if i keep on asking them for help they are going to push me away

~ i always have ups and downs and i'm pretty sure i have bipolar disorder but i don't want to go to theropy

~ i need theropy but i'm to scared to get help from others and i always bottle up my emotions

~ i'm a really good actor because i can fool people about how i'm feeling most of the time

~ when people find out things about me i start feeling scared and insecure around them because if i lose their trust or friendship i'm worried that they'll tell everyone this stuff

~ i cover my wrists and when people try to take the bracelets and cuffs off me then i get really scared because i don't want people to know.

~ i tried to slit my wrist 4 years ago and i have tried again since then.

~ i'm scared of 3 things only: love, life and myself

~ i don't like being around guys if i'm the only girl.

~ and i hate my ex boyfriend because i gave him a bull sh*t reason when i dumped him and now he wont talk to me and it's my fault.

pip xxx

I am someone who looks pretty and never speaks on what he says.

I am someone who can crush a person with a few words. And fact is I love the power to use words against someone.

I am someone who aspires to inspire people and change at least to change their world.

I am someone who says what he thinks, and will not sugarcoat it, even if it is to someone I love.

I am someone who treats his brother with compassion rather than giving them a world of hurt. Frankly I never touched or beaten any of them in the child life.

I sometimes see myself as a sideshow freak when I enter P&Q. Many hate my show, but some find it entertaining. And frankly I don't want to be that freak.

Many see as a colour or a picture. I see myself as a person

~My name is Dan

~I'm seventeen years old

~I hate Brian Letterman more then I Love my girlfirend

~My mother hates me

~My mother hits me all the time

~My mother has probally ruined my life

~I have no real friends

~My girlfriend cheated on me with Brian Letterman

~My Love for her gave me the power to forgive her

~I have thought about killing myself

~I have tryed to kill myself

~I have cryed myself to sleep

~I wish the world wasn't full of liers

~I wish I wasn't always depressed

~I wish Liz would tell me why she cheated on me

~I don't have a good paying job

~I don't have a car

~I used to get good grades in school, but I have gotton depressed and given up

~I'm still with Liz

~Liz is actually my first real girlfriend

~I still do, and will always love Liz

-I know he thinks I don't like him, but I only push him away because I'm scared.

-I usually know I'm really not fat, but sometimes I think I am anyways.

-I refuse to cry in front of people because I don't want to look weak. But I am weak, I cry myself to sleep three or four nights a week.

-I'm a bad friend, I just find it hard to keep in touch with her since she moved. Especially since she never calls me.

-I really wish one of my friends would notice that I'm not usually as happy as I seem. Sometimes I just need one person to tell me I'll be okay.

-I'm scared to tell any one person that I need them.

-I have major issues with my self-esteem.

-I feel like I just need to get away sometimes, but I don't know where to go.

-It took me 10 minutes to convince myself to write this, because I know I'm weak for thinking the way I do.

Ooh I wanna do this too =]

Im Natalie, I think alot of people know that... Or maybe not.

&& Here are my truths..

♥ I love to be alone, Don't know why. I just feel safer alone.

♥ I tend to push people away when they try to help me out, I know I shouldn't, But I just can't seem to help it.

♥ My brother Troy died when I was 3, He was 11 Months old.

♥ I love my pet mouse with all my heart. I know his only a little mouse, But I really do love him.

♥ I wear socks most of the time. I can't stand not wearing socks lol

♥ I always tell people how much I think love sucks, But I really do want to find love someday.

♥ I'm always on MSN, Even when my status is set to away, I'm really there. Except for when i sleep, But I can't sleep often.

♥ When someone asks me if I'm okay, I never tell the truth. I say Of corse I'm okay. I guess I just don't want to dump all my problems on my loved ones.

♥ I am very shy in person, There is maybe about 3 people that I can completly be myself around.

♥ I have always wanted to dance as my career, && I always blamed my mother for ruining that. But It was me who gave up.

♥ I dropped out of school last year. I didn't finish my year ten. (you need that in Australia to get a half decent job) && That is the one thing I have ever regreted.

♥ I can be really smart when I choose to be, If I put my mind to something, I can do it. I'm just too lazy lol

♥ I love my computer, It's in my bedroom, So I hardly ever come out. I don't think I could survive without it. (I know it sounds stupid, But it's true lol)

♥ When I was at the age of 13-15 I was quite a B**** lol, I would pick on alot of people. && now I look back, && Think of how much i sucked lol

♥ I bite my nails. Gross I know, But it's a habbit lol

♥ I have kissed one of my old best friends Sara Once. We were drunk lol

♥ I love this site x-x

They are all my truths that I can think of right now lol

I was on a roll so here I'll continue...

The truth is...

My heart is still broken from losing my first love and yet, I'm falling in love again

I question my faith daily

I spend too much money

I hate my job and everyone that works here...but I LOVE my boss

I LOVE jewelry and I think I wear too much

I genuinly HATE (I KNOW it's a strong word) woman who abort their babies

I HATE people who lessen someone's importance for not being what they believe is "normal"

I get grossed out when men leave the toilet seats up

I've kissed a girl
--Actually I've really liked a girl...my feelings were so mixed and obviously it didn't work out but it was necessary for me to confess. I need a MAN! LMAO

I could go on for days...I'll stop for now...soak it up and I'll be back...HAHAHAHAHA

OMG the truth about me ......

~ I haved lived with Multiple Sclerosis for the past 6 years and I fear going to sleep each night because I am terrified of waking up blind or paralized

~ I lost complete sight in my left eye for 9 days(due to M.S) in 2000 and every day I am terrified it will happen again

~ I cover my saddness with laughter because I never want anyone to feel sad in my presence or pity me

~ I love to make other people laugh because if 1 person is laughing that means there is one less person in the world crying

~ I have a hatred for my mother for something that happened when I was younger that I still can't talk about without crying. And I have only ever talked about it with 4 people in my entire life

~ I have a wicked a** temper although most people would never believe it .

~ I hate people that are rude and think they are better than the next person .

~ I hated school ,skipped classes, got in alot of fights and did drugs as a teenager because of family problems.......now I realize what a dumb a** I was.......and I that instead of solving the problem I tried to make it go away by stupidity.

~ The first person I ever got in a fight with at age 12 was a boy (ya.....lol it was a boy) ........and I am now married to him...lol .....I don't try beat him up any more now.....LMAO.....I know I'd lose...lol

~ The guy I went out with for a couple years dumped me for another girl 1 week before my graduation ceramony.....now I'm married to his cousin and AHAHAHA laughs on him now cause he's a loser (divorced and sigle again because he cheated on his wife)AHAHAHA.......idiot !!!

~ The absolute truth is I love this site and have met many new friends within the site and in CC&P .

I believe we all have another side of life that we are forced to live, hide, or forget. Such passages happen for a reason and sometimes we live our entire life not knowing or understanding why. If I think to hard I can be brought to tears...for myself and others.

My name is Sam to those who know me best..that would be mostly my family. I started writing when I was fifteen and there for I often times go by Samanthrose15 when you see me. I have spent the last several years trying to start over....I had the boyfriend from HS...he went off to college...I was going to join him...and yeah...he decided to meet someone else. Since life was so planned out..I wasn't sure where to start again..so I have side stepped college for now and work.
One day I will love again..trust again..and hopefully have the white picket fence, husband, and kids.....but until then...I am here to find a safe place to rest my heart and maybe a few friends along the way*

Bob .....hehehe I still whip his tushie...lol.....just a little lighter these days......LMAO

The truth....I have hidden myself behind a wall of self pity because it was easier than trying again. The sad part is...I was actually relieved that my ex found someone else because I wasn't really happy with him..but I didn't want to let "the family" down because they thought we were the perfect match.
I have spent to much time being angry and pushing everyone away....The fight was never about the conquest...

I am now closer to walking away from total security and taking a chance on...ME. Behind this wall is a passionate, loving,intelligent. funny and creative person ready to challenge and be challenged. Another relationship...maybe one day...but I know for sure that this time I want to make love as passionately as I feel and not let another surpress me. And I do want a kiss to my forehead each and everyday...for it is with that one kiss I will know I am loved.

And one more thing..I am never going to eat chicken livers again..even if it was my grandmothers favorite thing to make!!! YUCK

...edited

Here is the truth:

I'm tired of people telling my cousin that she and I are the same person.

Nada I'm sorry I bugged you but I want to clear this thing once and for all..

I told her to log in and post at the same time I'm posting... so I wish you all a great day and this is the truth for now

Hani, I hope you're happy now, and stop bugging me, and this goes out to all those who still believe he's a trick, we agreed to go on the same time and press at the same time to prove we're not one... so hani, I hope you're happy now and please stop bugging me next time... I'm no longer intrested in this site anymore... have a wonderful day, send kisses to Hania and tell Reema I love her

Hey, thanks, two computers... why on earth would you have two computers.... not that it's my business, but that's a lot of hardware

My bad... sorry... anyways off to work. rise and shine everyone... sending you all some fresh fruits and lots of vegtables... I hate my job

The truth is I get very sad and unhappy although people look at me and think I have everything that should make me happy. a lot of things happened in my marriage years ago that did something to me on the inside. I hide in my poetry behind metaphors.(that Bob always sees through) I feel like A prisoner at times thats never known a free life.

I did this a while ago, but I might as well do it again. It's probably different. It's mostly for me, I don't mind if nobody takes the time to read it.

--I am so scared of my relationship with my boyfriend, because I'm getting so attached, and I know it'll be me who's crying at the end of this.

--I get mad at people for even suggesting that I am crying, or have been crying. But I just don't want them to think I'm weak, I cry almost every day.

--I feel guilty when I eat. I know I don't eat enough, and I know it's unhealthy, so sometimes I force myself to eat more, or I lie to people when they ask if I've eaten anything. I worry that this is going to become a disorder, but I'm too proud to ask anybody I know for help.

--(Edited) I decided I didn't want to have this one written down anywhere.

--Sometimes I think they're only together so they don't have to split up us kids.

--I take a lot of things personally, and even though I laugh them off at the time, I get really upset about it later.

--I hate living in this house, I can't stand listening to my parents yell at me, and I can't stand the pressure they put on me. I keep telling myself that as soon as I graduate I'll be able to get out of here. But I don't know if that's true.

--I am a slacker when it comes to school. Lately I have been barely passing all my classes, and I know I should do better but I absolutely hate the crap they make us do. I know I'm going to disappoint a lot of people including myself when I don't have the grades to go to college or university.

--I am terrified of the future, and what's going to happen. I hate changes, especially when I don't know what's coming.

--I have no self-esteem anymore. I don't even believe my boyfriend when he tells me that I'm beautiful. I usually just tell myself it's because he needs glasses.

--Despite all the things I'm scared of, or I regret, I try to be optimistic, and I've got myself almost convinced that I am going to have a great life, and everything that I don't like now is going to get better.

~I read all posts in this thread, although skipping a few sentences of one post.

~I love this site a LOT, I’d give up talking to my friends if it was the only way to continue coming here.

~I claim, and try to be honest always. Some times I slip a lie under pressure, I can’t help it.

~It’s a LOT easier for me to open up to a stranger than some one I know, or have known for a long while

~I have the biggest crush ever (I will not believe it’s love) on the guy who recently asked my BFF out.

~I never tell my BFF if some thing’s bothering me, I cried while sitting right next to her once and she didn’t notice

~I think my BFF is stupid, ignorant, and innocent. I was pissed at her when she huffed at my explanation of cutting (She didn’t know what it was), and believe she has no clue how much shit a lot of people go through in life.

~I go to sites on bi-polar a lot. It supposibly runs in my family, and I do have major mood swings, hyper happy, to hopeless sad… I’ve checked positive on a online screening before, but I still convince myself I’m not a ‘serous’ enough case to have any of it really apply to me.

~I get pissed at nothing a lot, I usually want to hurt some one, beat them to a bloody pulp… But I’m too caring and don’t know who I’d target.

~I play the Sims 2, and I feel like my Sims NEED me to play them, I feel guilty when I don’t for long periods of time

~I’d rather stay home and do stuff online then go some where with one or two friends… But I love going to places where they’ll be lots of people I don’t know, or lots of friends

~I am determined to never drink alcohol, do illegal drugs, or cut… Cutting’s the most appealing out of all those.

~I don’t like talking to people, one on one.

~I’m the support person, and only one who ‘cares’ to at least two suicidal people. I only know them through this site, and worry about them throughout the day… I feel like some of there emotions are put into me, and I often feel like they’re being whiney or insensible.

~I have a few emo friends, ex-cutters, usually cheerful people. I have a few Bisexual friends, fun silly people. I love being around these people because they’re caring and make me laugh. I still can’t really open up to them

~I break down and feel like life isn’t worth it at every dance I’ve when to this year so far… I cried in the bleachers at home coming, hid in the bathroom the next dance, and the first one, I made frequent trips to the bathroom in attempt to calm down. I haven’t talked in depth about these experiences, but they mostly attacked me in the middle of a really happy mood.

~I’m a hopeful girl, and I’m gullible as well. I will never commit suicide because I understand that things can always get better, and people do need me, and care about me.

~My dad’s divorcing my step mom, and I don’t know what to feel about it. I’d like to say, “I don’t care”, but really it’s more of a void of emotion. One less person, I wasn’t really that attached.

~I have gone out with three guys, and haven’t had my first kiss yet

~I barely know my current BF and we only talk or interact at dances… He’s a sweet heart, kinda funny, and his friends are wacky… My dad approves of him.

~I hide any negative emotions from my family, and refuse to talk about them with anyone else.

~I’m a self pittier, and I hate it. I fight with myself over confidence and self worth, and usually I believe myself to be great… But there’s my persistence.

~I NEVER talk about how I feel to anyone… Except once, and that took some real effort, and was of coarse to a stranger.

~I have trouble believing things can really be good, part of me seeks out the bad, while another part tries to ignore it.

~I want to get help, but I have no clue where from or who I could trust...

~Some times I beleive the bad only seems bad to me because I want it that way, or was being whiney and that I'm actually fine, other times I serously can't think any other way then mad or sad... I could cry for hours but I'd never let myself.

~ I have two acounts here out fear of my freinds here either woring about me or seeing my more pathetic poetry.

^I believe it was Maslow who said that the ultimate goal in life is to self-actualize. He also said that many people never reach that stage.

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