Feeling dejected

I'm not the type to just go for any guy. I'm extremely picky. My freshman year of highschool I met a guy who I thought was really special. We were together for a year & a half. It was the best year and a half ever. We connected in such a way I can't explain. Not ever in my life have I ever been able to be so open to someone & I've never felt this way about anyone. Somewhere along the line we began to fight. My parents became not too fond of him, simply because he made me upset quite often. Things around us were changing, and that caused us to take out our anger upon one another.

Later we began to take it personally & sort of...turned on each other I suppose. Things were getting way too stressful for both of us. We ended it. I was still madly inlove with him & he says he was that way too but we understood that we needed a little space. Things started to get better. We were able to be together without fighting & we were about to get back together...then his ex-gf emailed me, saying she neededto talk to me....come to find out, he slept with her...the very day after we broke up.

Hah, but he still loved me? right? pft, yeah. I've thought about suicide & i was a cutter (yes as stupid as it is) about 2 years ago...but that night when i confronted him...I lost it. I couldnt breathe and all I could say was omg....I was speachless and filled with tears. I tried to take every pill in my house.

Believe it or not, we got back together 3 weeks later. And whenever I brought it up, because I was hurting from it, he'd give me the excuse, "but we werent going out"

Does that make it right? Or okay? Does that make it wrong for me to hold it against him?

I didnt think so.

Anyways, coming to a conclusion, things were great...for awhile after that. Then we broke up, yet again. And it's been a month now...and I'm still inlove with him. He says he loves me too....but he rarely says it.

How do you get over someone that's been your best friend for 2 years? He continues to be my best friend but I think it's harder to consider him as a best friend rather than an enemy. I want him back....but I don't know what to do........

I'm sorry this is so long. I know no ones going to truely read this.

xoxo
Kayla

get him back...i would say, because i would do anything to have my ex back but i dont want to be desperate enough to call him but other then that we dont talk at all it was just over...so if he's still around don't let him go, it might hurt in the long run but who cares, everything is about right now cause i dunno...im about to be cliche...there might not be a tommarow, so why worry about whats best for your future...it's less stress for now at least for awhile right

I do want him back. And he knows this.....

But I'm pretty sure thats not what he wants...How do I deal with this? He's sending me mixed signals & when i point that out to him, it doesnt change anything and he still doesnt tell me what he wants.

Urghhh, idk. idk.

Consider your posiblities with him, do you truly love him? do you think you will spend the rest of your life with him? or will it be a relationship that will go on and off for a long period of time?.. I say if you two truly have feelings for each other, and if he makes you truly happy, then go for it. But if he makes you upset like you said, then consider finding a new person, and have him as a friend, because it seems like the friend relationship works better then the personal relationship.

you don't need to truly love him...your 16...love is nice, but being happy is what's important i think you can worry about that when your older....if he's playing with you though don't mess with him find somebody new, that's too stressful

oh jamie gives wonderful advice lol...i agree again

dont go suicidal at all....hang out with the friends...the girls...and confide in someone TRUSTWORTY (important)...it helps

thanks everyone.