help..i have a problem..

I am terrified of my other half well the half of me no one ever sees. the me behind the mask. it scares me to know wat could happen if i fully become that person. because thats the side of me that questions my own sanity. And the side that has thought about suicide... cause the side of me that everyone sees is i very thin layer. and i never want to let ANYONE see that side and i am afraid of wat could happen. I have started cutting agian.. and dont give me none of that "well its dangerous" "just stop" stuff it dosnt work that way. I have tryed, but now insted of cutting my wrist I have been cutting my leg with a razor blade insted. The darker side of me, no matter how hard i try to hide it its always there.. I have gotten into the habit of lieing when ever my home life comes up in a conversation. I hate it, i hate it so bad!! I hate looking in the mirror everyday and seeing myself to everyone else i know from they see im living a lie, and dont tell me i have a split personality disrter or anything. I know who i am its just hate living in the shadow of myself..if that makes any sense.. This is realy bugging me and i have never let anyone know this... and i dont know wat to do..

~MIndy~

Maybe your other half is hungry.

Feed it chocolate.

//Ari\\

I know how you feel. No one has realy seen the real me. On the outside, yeah I'm just a bouncy, preppy, hyper, semi-emo girl. But insdide I'm really dark. And it takes a lot just to show someone one little inch of all of it. I know. And it's even harder to show the one you love (personal ex boyfriend issues). And It's very scary to cut yourself, but to me, it's my only resort. It makes me...hrm..."feel". If you know what I mean. Well, sorry I'm not that big of a help.

LOVE
Lolli

I kinda know how you feel, everyone thinks im just a little sad all the time but the thing that they don't see is that im half way to suisidal...

Private message me if you wanna talk... Or email: monkeybabi2006 or Instant Message me : Monkeys4life2006

hun you took the words out of mouth its soudns exactly what i used to be going through although i tryed to give up the cutting....email me kk if you need to talk ..

*~CrImSon__TeArS~*

You guys talk about the "real me" do you hide it from yourself or just others?

Are you yet to realise the waste of energy it takes to create placebo lives and personalities?

Does it not depress you that you force your true self behind an invisible wall for the sake of being judged by others?

We understand what the issue is here I ask people to try and bring problems with solutions...its one thing to whinge and bitch but to be able to also bring possible solutions to the table makes a strong person - does anyone have any thoughts?

As easy as it may be to say rather than do I think you should let your true colours shine, regardless of there brightness or darkness because you are who you are and you have no reason to hide that. you don't have to be vocal or physical you can express yourself through many avenues of artistic expression like writing, painting or what ever tickles your fancy :o)

If you can't tell the truth to people, write it down and give it to them meaning your parents, friends, counselor, etc, I know that is what I did. My voice wouldn't work, but no one know how I really felt, even to this day my friend still says that she doesn't know that part of me. If you feel that way, even at all there is something wrong so lend your voice a hand and write it. We on are a poetry site so I assume most of you can write, so write it down and leave note somewhere where they will read it. Tell your parents you are scared, that you are trying to hide thoughts of doing bad things to yourself, even thinking about ending your own life. This is not something you can deal with on your own and trying to might end up killing you. So tell people what is going though your head and give them the chance to help you. You would be surprised how many people really miss that kind of stuff. Give it a shot b/c from what it sounds like your life may depend on it.

-Tainted Mikochan