Things to do in a meeting.....LOL

1) During the meeting, discreetly clasp the hand of the person next to you and
whisper 'Do you feel it too' out of the corner of your mouth.

2) Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and show it to the person next to you
for their approval.

3) When refreshments come round, immediately take charge of biscuit distribution
and, as you hand them round, systematically smash each one with your fist.

4) Chew tobacco

5) Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. Once in a while drift off into a
loud and unrelated conversation such as 'I dont care if there are no goddamn
dwarfs , just get it done'

6) Write down 'he fancies you' on your notepad and show it to the person next to
you. Gender is inconsequential and the effect is always surprsing.

7) Respond to a serious question with 'I really dont know what to say.
Obviously I'm flattered but its all happened so quickly'

8) When someone raises the project timetable, use Nam style jargon like 'Whats
the ETA?', 'Who's on recon?' and 'Charlie dont surf!!'

9) Reconstruct the meeting as it progresses, using action figures and ,when
anyone moves, arrange the figures accordingly

10) Start to shave your forearms

11) Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs , then avoid sitting on it when
the meeting starts.

12) When someone does sit in it, cover your mouth in a show of horror and
audibly gasp

13) Turn your back on the meeting and sit facing the window with your legs
stretched out.

14) Loudly announce that you 'love this dirty 'ole town'

15) Walk directly up to a colleague and stand nose to nose with him for one
minute.

16) Mount the desks and walk along them until you reach your seat , then sit
down as if nothing had happened.

17) Reflect sunlight into the speaker's eyes off your watch face

18) Gargle with water just as the speaker reaches the crux point

19) Repeat every idea expressed in a baby voice while moving your hand like a
chattering mouth.

20) Gradually push yourself closer and closer to the door by rocking your chair

21) Hum throughout

22) Bend momentarily below the table and re emerge wearing contact lenses that
white out your eyes

23) Drop meaningless management speak into the discussion like 'Whats the
margin, Marvin?'. 'When's this turkey gonna get basted?' 'If we dont get this
brook babbling we're all gonna end up looking like doe eyed Labradors' and
'We'll invoke the functionality when the deliverable arrives'

24) Produce a hamster from your pocket and suggest throwing it to one another as
a symbol of ideas exchange

25) Use a large hunting knife as a pointer to your visual aids

26) Announce that you have run off some copies of the meeting agenda, then hand
out sheets of paper that read 'My vision....1) Trample the weak 2) Triumph alone
3) Invade Poland. Pretend to realise your mistake and collect them sheepishly,
swearing everyone in the room to secrecy.

27) Attempt to hypnotise the entire gathering using a pocket watch

28) When referring to a colleague in the room always call them your 'homey' or
'dog'

29) Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is
prompted to interject scream 'I AM NOT FINISHED'

30) Pull out a large roll of bank notes and count them expansively

LMAO that is hilarious!

golden crumpet award?
oo that sounds exciting!

Things to try?

This is a typical senior management meeting in my company LMAO

you forgot to add....
stare dreamily into the corner for several minutes and then when you're sure everyone is looking at you wondering what in hell you're doing.... scream "you're fired!!!" at the top of your voice before discreetly apologising to your boss and telling the room at large that you were daydreaming.

omg... thats awsome.. see the thing is.... i would do all of these.. and since im a theropist.. i could scare the living hell out of all my clients.. and it would be.. AWSOME! ..

thanx for the tips

:-)

Brillaint but you also forgot:

End every sentence with a querious tone so that people are unsure of when you are asking a question.

wwwwwoooooooowwwwwwww

XxXxXRaChAeLXxXxX

did you get really bored one day and just decide to make this or did you find it sumwhere lol?

HAHAH! datz fu**ing hillarious! :P

LMFAO! Oh jeez, that was just too funny!