High School Relationships

Ever since about grade 6, it was such a HUGE deal when people were going out. If you had a boyfriend/girlfriend, you were cool (or the opposite if the person you dated was a loser). Im just wondering why we are judged for relationships, why people find themselves with a need to be seen in a relationship (for the recognition so youre not titled a loner), and above all, why should I even care that other people have relationships? (LOL)

I suppose its apart of belonging, finding someone else to share your life with, but at such a young age (even up to grade12) the relationships are immature. Everything is about how far you can go with them, and when the average length is about two weeks, how much of it really affects you. Can a person really find love in such a short time period?

Now that Ive ranted about the subject Id be interested in hearing other peoples opinions, and maybe get into some debate.

Sorry guys, one more thing. Incase your didnt know, Ive never really been in a relationship for those reasons. Im pretty sure my experiences create my opinions, so I thought it important to let everyone know.

Well, Will, in my option teens, and even older children get in to a relationship because they view relationships as a mature thing, so by getting into a relationship they are trying to show that they are more mature in the eyes of their family, friends, and the public in general. That’s just my option at least.

Interesting way of viewing it, I suppose I personnally have found other ways to be mature. But if thats the incentive of a relationship, to act mature, why is it that they usually seem immature. The relationship itself can make you seem more immature than mature sometimes, can't it?

I know of someone who always has to be in a relationship. She dates random guys all of the time. Maybe Ive viewed this person wrong, but to me this seems more immature than mature.

I see where you are coming from, I was going to say something about that in my earlier post but I didn't, for some reason. You see in my option when a teen gets into a relationship to look more mature the opposite usually happens as you have pointed out, why this happens I don't know exactly, but I think it has something to do with the fact that people believe that teens and older children are too young to fall in love and when they see teen in a relationship they just think that person is being immature, and trying to grow up too fast. When the teen sees this their need to be mature grows stronger and they get into even more relationships. I mean that’s just my option and if you are confused with any of it because I didn't make it clear enough just say so and I'll clarify.

I have to say I do agree with both of you to a certain degree. Getting into a serious relationship in High School does start off as simply teenage infatuation that turns into a need for something viewed as 'real' and 'mature.' but you also have to take into consideration that many teens today are constantly being flooded by these ideas of finding 'true love' at such a young age by different forms of the media. Even as a college student I don't see that much of a difference between high school and more 'mature' relationships among some of my peers, it's simply a game of how many people can you hook up with until you find one worth settling on for awhile. Only a very lucky few, and I mean that on the smallest margin possible, can actually say they found love, or someone worth being with, and actually held onto that special person at a young age.

I admit I am a complete lush and romantic when it comes to finding to finding a guy I am head over heels for, and I did date a few guys in high school becuase I thought one of them would turn out to be "the one," but after those days of jumping from heart to heart and entering college, a girl really gets the picture that it's not worth all the drama.

In my hometown (NY) it was a big thing to be coupled up, but where I am now for college (London) it's completely different and much more relaxed. I think it all really comes down to the influences we find surrounding our area that really determine how we come to focus and put extreme pressures on the status of being 'in a relationship.'

as it's 2am and I am completely losing it I hope this turned out to make some sense. Hope you boys got something out of this girl's view on things.

So William, what you are saying that you have never been in a relationship because you did not want to be part of a trend?

Ah Hah. Sure.

Well yeah some relationships are really immature but I think after getting into highschool maybe around your 10th year you want a serious relationship. But really not all relationships are how far you can get with someone. Most of the relationships at my school are all pretty serious. I am a teen myself and in a serious relationship and for me and my boyfriend I believe it's true love we have been together since my freshmen year and now I am almost a junior. For us we were friends for quite awhile and then became something. For both of us it wasn't to try and show everyone how far we could get. I dont know this is just my opinion but not all relationships are how you said. I'm not saying there are people out there who only want those things but most of the people at my school want a long relationship. And you said you never dated anyone because of those things, you really should try to find someone not everyone is how you think you just have to find the right person. You may not find them the very first time but you have to go through the bad ones to get the good one. That is just my opinion and I am only 16 so I could be wrong.

The trick is this, teens are constantly changing throughout their highschool years. Puberty affects both the body and the mind, and in case anyone didn't know, your brain doesn't quit developing till you're 21. I think there is such a thing as love in high school relationships, I wasn't trying to diss that. I personnally come from a school with a lot of peer pressure to have a date, and be in a relationship. I don't personnally believe (at least right now I don't) that relationships such as those are a very good idea in this time in our lives. Like I mentioned, we are changing, we are discovering who we are. I don't think that love doesn't exist within this age group, of course not, but the numbers show that high school relationships dont last. I mostly wonder about the people who aren't in love, who go for these "relationships" to stand out, do it for attention, or just do it to fit in. Peer pressure can force you to do alot of things, and an unhealthy relationship can hurt you alot.

Another argument is stress. Kids these days (I myself being one) have so much stress to deal with. If anyone from British Columbia, Canada reads this, theyll understand for sure how much extra pressure is being put on us (for those who know, im reffering to the graduation portfolio). Relationships is another thing in our lives that can cause stress, is it stress that we really need? Love totally stands out, and changes everything im trying to say, but it can act as a de-stresser, but other than that (and love included), do kids really need that extra bit of stress to put us over the edge.

To a remark said earlier about my choice not to date, I want to tell you this. Anybody could get a boyfriend or girlfriend if they wanted to. If it was that important to them, they could, but to me, its not. I mentioned stress, and I have alot of stress in my life, and letting go of worrying about who im going to date has taken of alot of stress and anxiety.

Like the past person said, im just a kid, I probably dont know too much. Im knowledgeable, but not overly experienced, so I can only judge on the experiences I have seen. I am 15 (16 in a few days).

I merely stated what i am sure many others reading this topic for the first time would have thoguht; "doesn't want one or cannot get one!"

I have had my fair share of relationships, and i am over it now. I am in my last year of schooling and girls are a past issue for me - at least, the sexual side of girls. I can totally relate to you ranting on about stress and what not being a factor and that a relationship merely adds to that stress, but if you are with the right person they will take some of that strain off you. But i guess that last comment could be said about any FRIEND, not boyfriend or girlfriend.

The novelty of going out with someone lasts only a week or two, any time after that is effort you and/or the other is either putting in or neglecting, but if you have not experienced a relationship -semi serious one- while you are younger, you WILL fuck up in later life.

Take whatever road you wish, but just remember that knowledge and experience is the key to being successful in anything.