Funny Rhymes Poetry contest.

I want to laugh people.....The funnier the raunchier.... who will win? I want to see if some of you poets out there can be funny. Put a chuckle on someones face... =) we'll either laugh with you or at you..

There will be 2 winners
First winner will recieve 7 comments
Second winner will recieve 5 comments

***RULES***

1. Pre-writes are okay.
2. Your poem must rhyme.
3. Must be your original work.
4. Can be in any type of rhyme scheme.
5. YOUR POEM MUST BE FUNNY!!!!!!
6. It is up to you to pick the topic.
7. Profanity is okay... if you must...
8. This contest will end after 10-15 entries.

IF YOUR POEM IS NOT FUNNY..... I WILL GO TO YOUR POEMS AND RATE ALL YOUR POEMS WITH A 1....
(hahahahaha just joking!!!!!!!!!)

Relax and have fun everyone........ GOOD LUCK!

~Farting's No Crime~

I've had problems with gas in the past.
Sometimes, they just slip out too fast.
Spent many a hours, clenching my bowel,
but sometimes, you just gotta rip a**.

When I was younger I was often harassed,
because of the smell of the gas that I passed.
I tried holding it in, I still couldn't win,
I often passed gas in the front of the class.

One time, in the hall, I delivered a pass.
On the way there I was moving too fast.
I dropped to my knees, and felt the warm breeze,
but what came out, was more than just gas.

The wet ones are most definitely the worst,
they come by surprise and never come first.
Without any warning, feeling, or sign,
you feel a tremble, a gurgle, and then a quick burst.

So when you're out with your friends the next time,
don't worry, fart freely, farting is no crime.
But, always remember, yes please don't forget,
farting is poetic, what stinks is the rhymes.

~Sean Dohr~

HAHAHAHAHAHAA
Very very funny.... LOVE IT.....
You are a good poet, overall... very flexible and all around... shows true talent... =)

Made me laugh so hard... I think I farted too....
(NO I DIDN'T Shhhhh don't tell anyone..)

Crazy and insane
by Silhouette, of something unimaginable

This world is like a movie
never still always moving
when it hurts we feel the pain
the blood falls like drops of rain
fading a way into a dream
out of the darkness we give a scream
rushing comes hope
and with it a rope
all tied up we scream and cry
then we fall and we all die
startled by a scream
we wake up from the dream
with blood on our hands
we wait where it stands
shaking and crying
we see it won't be dying
a cry of pleasure, a cry of pain
we wonder why we're in the rain
we cry for help with no one around
so we settle on the ground
sown to sleep
sleep we creep
woken with furry
off with a hurry
run like crazy
the stranger is lazy
we win the gold
god this is getting old
changing so fast
we shoot with a blast
it just makes it mad
we'd run if we had...
we don't have legs
they are just little pegs
we want out of this dream
it's getting kind of mean
we sit down and cry, cry, cry
but here we lie
in our cozy bed
and we still have our heads