Do people who write sad poems and rape stories want sympathy?

Do you writeres (like me) want sympathy when you write sad or explicit poem? Sometimes with certain writers its hard ot tell what they want...how do you know how to respond and not offend someone by sympathizing? Just wondering. thnxs

Lissa

I personally think that there are some people who do write sad poems out there just to get attention from people. But most of the time the people who are writing these poems aren't doing it for the sympathy. They are doing it to let all of their emotions out of them because most of the time poetry is the only way they can let these feelings out.

-Stephanie-

actually, I know this is someone elses post and it's already asking a question... but I saw Sluvious' response, and I have a thought/opinion of my own I just felt like I wanted to fit in here (I figured it would save some time and forum posting to just ask it in here). Well, Sluvious, you said that the majority of people write to heal. I do understand that, and I'm sure for some that is the case; however you went on and said that writing about something traumatic, makes it less of a burden on one's mind... But personally, I can't seem to find alot of release in posting them on the internet or looking for sympathy. Infact, I have so many other poems of mine that either, I am happy with and have no need to post them on this or any site or place, or they are just so personal that I'd rather keep them to myself forever and not have to worry about anyone giving any sympathy, empathy, relating to it....or anything of that type. Granted, I have never told anyone everything or even the stuff that hurts the most - but of the stuff I have shared I haven't noticed a big difference in the way I feel...

So if they write it to release, are they posting it to release to?... I'm just not quite getting how lingering on something, and letting everyone else linger with you helps people... Well, I'm not complaining or anything, it's just failed to help me at any given time and I'm seriously wondering what it is about 'sharing your burdens' with others that makes you feel better.......

"and I'm seriously wondering what it is about 'sharing your burdens' with others that makes you feel better......."

Here is a little insight (at least from my point-of-view). I had some serious trauma in my childhood, not near as bad as it could have been nor as bad as some people's.. we all have our own traumas... anyway...I hid it away. My family just buried it and pretended it never happened. That reaction there pretty much traumatized me as much or more than the actual thing that happened.

I just kept it hidden and piled more and more bitterness and anger and guilt on top of it until I was in my 3rd year of college and a good friend of mine got me to talk about it... she helped me realize that I could use my experience to show compassion to others and help them through their own traumas.

I began writing about it because I was better with written words than with talking about it verbally. I share my writing with the hopes that someone that's been through a similar situation will understand that they are not alone and that there are people that care and want to help them through their circumstances. My writing includes not just accounts of what happened... but remaining feelings on it and how I got through it and how I still deal with the memories. Trying to bear your burdens alone will overwhelm you... writing about it and sharing it, isn't "lingering" on it... for it will never be truly forgotten. No I don't go around announcing that I experieced that certain thing... but when I discover someone that is in the midst of something I've been through, I will steer them to one of my poems... or share with them that I've been through it too...

That's what it is about sharing my burdens that makes me feel better.

You never really know. I mean I write some sad poems, but it's not for attention. I write them because it's a way to get my feeling out of my system. I think some people who write sad poems or rape stories want the burden off there shoulders and so they put it on paper.

-ifihide11

Alright. I guess those make sense... Though personally, I think I'm fine with it being my burden and nobody elses. Thanks for the thoughts and answers though :)

I do and then I dont think so. Because on one hand it might be a lie and they just want attention, but on the other hand it could be true and writing helps them.

if they do want that give it to them and them and you will find the core reason to that story or poem with it be to get sympathy or to express thier feelings on a deep thought or wond. when and if you do this will you find the true reason

*Nods his head* YES they do.
Even the ones who are making up the stories do as well, just for the hell of it.

Some deserve it, some don't, some should just keep their mouths shut but some just can't... that's teenagers for you. *adults don't usually need it due to the fact that they're a little more grown up ;)*

No one would ever know which is the true story sadly, so distributing sympathy is pretty much pointless. According to this thread and the subject, the quality of the poem wouldn't necessarily help the reader know if he/she is lying about the entire experience. My best advice is just to say if it's a good poem or not, spare them the sympathy for it may just be a waste of text.

Well i think some people might and some poeple might not, it took me a while to add my poems to the site as i was unsure what people would think of me if i shared them. however i now realise that poeple (more people than i thought) have been trhough the same and i think if you struggle to comment just say what you think of the poem, like you would any other poem xxx

I feel that writing a poem when you have a strong feeling such as sadness is a really good way to let out your emotions in a good way. After all, its better that chucking a hissy fit and doing something stupid isnt it? It puts all your emotions down your arm through your pen and written beautifly on a peice of paper to treasure. I only share happy poems with others as i dont wish to pass on any sad feelings to others who read my sad poems. But then again, Others might feel that sharing your sad poems is a way to let others no your story. Every one is differnt but i like to keep my readers happy =)

Some just want their story told.. others may crave attention.. just don't be quick to judge them..

~broken_saint~

Btw, i write sad poems not for the attention but just as a way to relieve myself of stress and negative energy.. you might want to check mine out some time.. haha

~broken_saint~

I think some write for sympathy
but others just write for the sake of writing
and believe me even if all they want is sympathy its a lot better to write a poem about your pain then to self harm or get a eating disorder.

LOL. A poem of mine, "My Darling Daughter" had 15 people all messaging me at once saying:

"oh my, you had a daughter?!!?"
"i'm so sorry for you losing your daughter!"

..how about reading the last bit that its a TOTALLY MADE UP POEM.

Lol.

When I right about something during a very emotional time, I never show it because it either: doesn't make much sense; or, is a very sensitive issue. So, what does it mean when someone goes through a traumatic experience, and posts it for people to see?

*Shrugs* Couldn't much say. I don't think it's for sympathy though; I think it's about, going through an "abnormal" experience and then showing people to see their responses to it. To find if others find it "normal" or not. As a way to feel... Back to normal again: connected again... human again...

No they don't want sympathy they want to share their stories wit every1 so these secrets which are a weight on them can be releaved.. The one thing I dont like is when people say "Oh I'm sorry" in comments on sad poems about death etc. Theres no need to apologise because think about it logically, its not your fault thats giving sympathy thats not being asked of you.

People usually dont know what to right in those situations so oi dont get the pint of why they say all those sympathetic things its stupid

Most people write sad poems and rape poems to express their feelings... not for attention..

I personally write to and post poems to let out my pinned up emotions because I have a hard time expressing myself. Maybe they just need to tell someone.

Some people do . I don't . I just write if I feel like it -- or if I just went through something .

Yeah i agree.. some do prehaps write for sympathy .. but i guess its not for us to judge... i do write sad and explict poems, however onle one is about me , and i do not want sympathy .. i just liked the challenge of writting something that is true, and also rather sad, and turning it into a beautifull written, well flowing poem.. Th other sad/ explicit ones i writ ar based on facts, actual events, and news... where i only write to inform those who do not know of certain situations.. what better way to connect with people than a way that i find peacefull and interectual at the same time.

(Just one opinion, no offence meant.)

Why does it matter what the writer wants? I don’t mean that to sound harsh, but although poetry is used as a tool of expression, once it is out there it belongs (along with any interpretations derived) to the reader.

I write a lot about the seedier side of society, the vast majority of what I write about is autobiographical *but* I don’t think a reader should assume if a poem is written in first person (or otherwise) that it is necessarily about the poet themselves. A great many writers use first person as a calculated device and the person behind ‘I’ should be questioned and explored as to who they are as much as the subject matter is.

Even when I am writing poems which are autobiographical and I use personal pronouns I don’t expect or want sympathy. For example (hypothetically) if I write a poem about rape because I have been raped I write about it, not to gain sympathy, but to explore the concept of rape (using my personal experience) to convey and consider the subject. The point of this its to try and soothe those readers who too have experienced rape (and understand how difficult it is to articulate the emotions rape causes), to inform and evoke empathy in those who haven’t and possibly even to try and reach those who themselves rape others.

If I wanted sympathy I could simply say ‘I’ve been raped’ to almost anyone and receive some level of sympathy…what use is sympathy?

It isn’t receiving sympathy which heals or helps a person to move on (though it may allow them to wallow), but the act of writing which can work to purge someone’s emotions or soothe their intensity. The writing is the sympathy, if anything is…the poem is an embodiment, it stands alone…outside of the writer.

I don't. Not through poetry or in life. I don't want sympathy for the things that happened to me that I had no control over (understanding, maybe, I guess that's empathy, I kind of don't believe in "empathy" though, idk why) -- if more people could have some sympathy for those actions where I actually had control, that would be nice. But I don't demand or expect it.

There are actually a few sad poems I've written that were too personal to post on this site--I didn't want people feeling sorry for me. But then I thought about it and realized that someone else might read it who is going through the exact same thing.

I guess some writers do want sympathy. Others, however, write them to let everything out & let other people who can relate realize that they aren't alone.

Not at all because there are some who write sad poems coz they think they can find relief on it.

Different writers probably want different things when they write about the sadness they keep. For me personally I desire the person I love, but I'm unable to have that person, thus leaving it to my creative side to express what I can in poetry.

About half if not a little more of my poems aren't recreated from personal experience but a story I wanted to convey to readers. I write what I know how to write and majority of that are poems that depress the reader subjected to them. I look for responses and appraisal to my writing, whether the response be, "wow kill yourself you fail at life" or "Wow I'm sorry if that happened to you." I want to see what I get back.

Maybe in some way they do but also maybe there just writing bout othetr ppl getting the bad things out of there head i really dont kno

When I write a sad poem I don't want sympathy I am just expressing myself. I never write a poem hoping someone will feel sorry for me and want to make me happy. I have learned that happiness can't come from other, that it has to come from those who want it, and if you never want it you won't get it. So no when i write a sad poem I don't want anything in return. Shanik

I could not say it better myself.

I think it's phycologically valid to say that people who write about such things (or anything that stirs them emotionally) are reaching out to others. Sadly, if there were someone in their lives they could actually talk to, they would before they wrote about it. It's part of the healing process to reach out and tell others about the injustices that have befallen us; there is an inner need for it and when no one is there, poetry (or even a journal) can be quite theraputic. When I write something and someone says they are sorry, I always realize they are being sympathetic and polite but I always realize too that this wasn't the reason I wrote it...I needed to get it out.

Well writing is just a way for me to express myself
idk if people do or dont understand it its a way for me to let out what im fealing withought anyone thear
no i guess the answer is no
or atleast it is for me
writing is not to be felt bad for, its to be understood

I write sad poetry because it's like the only thing i can write about. i dont want sympathy... i just want to get all these things off my mind, u know?

I wirte because i feel the need to write..not for anybody else.
if somebody understand where i'm comming from-great! but i do not need that.

--Viola

I write sad poems as a way of expressing myself. im not good at talking so poetry is how i get everything out. once it's on paper i tuck it away in my notebook and try to move on. sometimes it takes several poems on one topic but if you want to sympathize then fine but i dont go looking for it. makes no difference to me.

Yeah..your're right..me either i write to get rid my emotions..

^I'm seriously wondering what it is about 'sharing your burdens' with others that makes you feel better.......^

People write for different reasons. Sometimes sharing a tragedy may help others who are experiencing or have experienced a similar event. People may not be "seeking" sympathy. Besides you never know if the poems are based on events someone has personally experienced or not unless they add a footnote telling you that. You need to look deeper. All people or "most" people aren't that shallow.

I think, that some people write sad poems to get attention. And others are just trying to vent.
So if anything,
it's better not commenting if they're okay.
Just comment on how great the poem was.
That's the safest way i find...

SYMPATHY-noun: sharing the feelings of others (especially feelings of sorrow or anguish)