is he too old for me?

ok, i've like ALWAYS liked this guy mike, and evidently he has liked me, but he is 3 years older than me.

so he just recently told me this, but only after he started going out with my brother's "X". and he is... ehhh, was my bro's best friend.

so, firstly what should i have done if i'd found out that he liked me b4 he went out with the girl?

and secondly, what do i do know, because i kinda forgot about him, and now i really like him, but he told me that he is "in love" with this girl sam... but he doesn't know that i like him.... WHAT DO I DO!!!

P.S. HE IS GOURGOUS!!! (but his personality is so amazing, that even if he were ugly i'd still like him)

His being "GORGEOUS" means absolutely NOTHING!!

Being a young teen 3 years is a lot! If my daughter was 14 and wanted to date a 17 year old I'd tell her to go suck an egg. So if you are 14-15 and he is 3 years older my OPINION is YES HE IS TOO OLD.

^Agree. He is three years older and looks shouldn't matter. It should be based more on personality.

Secondly you can't really do anything if he likes someone else. Ruining their relationship because you like him is selfish. If telling him how you feel is going to ruin things between him and aother girl, just move on. There are pleanty of other guys out there. If you had found out before he went out with the girl, then you should have told him, but it's a little too late for that now.

Hmm yer got to agree with Natalie there.
But depends how old u are really and how mature u are? Like Natalie said, if u are 14 - which makes him 17 then yer thats a bit too much dont u think?
I've always gone for guys that are older than me, and most of the time it doesnt work out... Maybe if ur lucky enough it would.. But I pretty much doubt it. My ex boyfriend was 22, and I'm 16, we just about made it work until he met someone else. But being 16 I guess I am old enough to understand things that go on, not saying that u dont of course!
I know u probably do not want to hear this right now cuz I used to hear it all the time but u still have a lot of time to grow, I know guys that are older seem exciting and the idea of it is more appealing, I know because I've been there before and still think the same way. Just give urself time to grow, plus if u really liked him that much u wouldnt have just 'forgotten' bout him?
Plus the fact that hes with someone right now and I completely disagree with u doing anything about u liking him while he is with someone because I know what it feels like for someone to come along and cause trouble in relationships just because they like the guy... And have u ever thought he could end up hating u if u did anything to ruin their relationship?
I suppose what u could do is wait and see what happens with him and this girl, wait till they are over before u do anything about it and then see what he says?

well ill state my opinion when i was 14 my boyfriend was 20.. my sister is 15 her boyfriend is 19 and im 15 and my boyfriend is 20.. but were both pretty mature for our age so NO i dont think hes to old.. give it a try.. but i also dont believe in sex before marriage.. so we never had the chance of getting pregnant.. that came out of no where but had to be stated.. dont do anything till him and this girl are over though./

I agree with Meaghen!! Well put!!

Meagan you're silly!!! You'll realize one day. You THINK you're mature...he's using you.

My parents have a 4 year age difference, but they started dating when my dad was 18 and my mom was 22... and my mom was the older one...

My perspective on the subject is as follows:

I figure that if you want to date this guy or what have you, you're probably going to end up doing it. I know couples from high school that were a couple or a few years apart in age, and I didn't really feel anything wrong about it. For every exploitive guy that's looking for young meat there is .2 honest guys looking for a girl they can love... or to reverse that ratio I guess that means there are 5 sleezbags for every good guy... whatever.

I just think that if you can manage to hold your own and not do things you don't want to 100%, aka sex stuff, then go ahead. If you think he is going to overwhelm you, then maybe you should sit this one out.

It's your life anyhow, I just figure getting pregnant too early or losing your virginity and regretting it are really shitty things -- food for thought.

P.S.

I didn't answer the second part of your post. If he really cares about the girl he's dating, then I don't know if it's worth your time to get even more involved and throw your feelings into the mess. You might want to get a guy who is single.

Yes, he is too old for you. Especially if he's friends with your brother, I would just leave it alone.

"My ex boyfriend was 22, and I'm 16, we just about made it work until he met someone else. But being 16 I guess I am old enough to understand things that go on,"

^That's just as bad as a 14 year old with a 17 year old. It doesn't matter if you're 16, you're still a young teenager, and a 22 year old is at a completely different point in his life.

And Sarah, it's basically the same thing when you're 15 or 16. Either way you're a young teenager.

Why is everybody into guys who are so much older. Did I miss something here?

"Why is everybody into guys who are so much older. Did I miss something here?"
~~
Older guys die sooner.

Just let it go...if he's 3 years older then you...and "in love" with someone else....just let it go!!! Find someone your own age to fall for!!

And I don't know what this whole older guy thing is about either....I'm 20 and my fiance is 19. So...I dunno. I guess I missed that memo as well!!

Oh...and looks should never matter. My guy wasn't the cutest guy in the worl when we first met. But his personality was one of a kind and amazing....and he cleaned himself up a lot and now he is gorgeous as hell and I love him with all my heart. Looks are just a bonus.

I think if you really love him age does not matter.

And anyone who says different doesn't know love.

BUT, based from what I see in your post I hardly believe it's love at all. Considering you mentioned he was gorgeous before his personality.

Sarah....everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Just because someone does that agree with yours...does not mean that yours is really wrong. Keep giving your advice. Maybe yours is better then those that are saying...."your wrong".

And Tony....I have to disagree with you. Age matters a lot both legally, and moraly. However you spell it. I suck at that part of life...lol. Just because someone thinks that age DOES matter, does NOT mean that they do not understand love. Because hello...I'm madly and deeply in love, and I'm engaged, and very happy with my life right now and I'm not scared to marry this man next year.....but yet I believe that age matters. I'm sorry...but I think that I understand love. I think that I understand it a lot better then some people that are already married. Just how I feel though.

So you believe love should be limited to age just because of what the laws say? As for morals, morals are what you make them. Nothing more. I believe love has no limits really. Which is why age holds no meaning to me what so ever. I think if the two are mature enough to understand what love is and they know they feel it towards each other then they should not be denied that.

If you wanna know the truth, guys are 3 yrs behind in maturity then women, starting from ur age, so if ur 14 and he's 17 thats fine there is nothing wrong with that. which means u should go out with a guy who is 3 yrs older than u... not always true for everyone, but it is a fact. u dont want a guy who is still acting like a little boy. girls r more mature than guys, and having a guy 3 yrs older is better. dont listen to those who say thats too old cause thats not. n if u both know how to act normal and is mature that aint old.

If one person is 14...and the other is 17...you can love eachother. Sure. Whatever. But it can never go anywhere past words.

Because sex is out of the question because it's considered statitury rape in most places at least in the U.S, you can't get married, you can't really even go out on good dates because the 14 year old can't get into R rated movies, they can't go to parties, for the most part they all have curfews...I just think that is' stupid and pointless.

Love is love yes. I fully believe that if you love someone, love them will all your heart. I still think that it's really stupid for a 14 and 17 year old to be "in love".

i dont think he is to old at all. if you think about it its not age that makes you like or love somebody. its their personality and how they treat you that really matters. for example im 14 i went out with a 17 year old. he was an amazimg guy. he took care of me and treated me better than anyother guy ever has. he never cheated snuck around or lied to me. he accepted me as me and thats wat matters not age. so think about it that way. do you like him for his age or for who he is wen he is around you, and how he treats you! follow your heart! good luck!

He is definatly not too old. i am 16 yrs old and my boyfriend is 19 about to be 20 and its great. I have dated a guy who was 23 when i was 15 and a guy who was 25 so it isn't a big deal. Age doesn't matter as long as you to get along and like each other.

I must agree...I really can not wait for the day that these girls and even some guys relize that these older people are CHILD MOLESTERS!!!! If they are over the age of 18, going after someone 14....they are considered child molesters and can go to PRISON for rape if you have sex with them.

Love is love yes. But seriously....there is no way that a 20+ year old...can really be in love with someone that 15 or below....it's sick. But that's what molesters do. They get inside your head and make you feel loved, make you feel like they want you when no one else does.

STAY WITH YOUR OWN AGE GROUP!!!!!

---now i have to disagree---- how the heck can you know wat someone else is feeling in their heart? you aint in their freaking head. you are just judging them acorrding to wat other people have done. Just b/c they are older and dating someone younger does make them a freaking child molester just b/c other ppl who did are or were.not all people are the same. When you were younger and you shur you were in love and you tried to tell your parents how you felt and they said you cant possibly feel love it might just be lust or something didnt it piss you off and make you feel bad? well thats exctly wat your doing to these people who are dating younger girls...your telling them they cant possibly love them and they do. so think about how it felt....age really doesnt matter its just a number. math is numbers not love!

okso you are right...about the whole statutory rape thing. but i thought that was only if you put charges against them. iunno. i mean i have heard cases like that before to. i guess i just think you whould give things a chance. imnot telling people to go have sex and get pregnant with a 20+ year old im just saying that some things diserve a chance. the girl you meantionrd ^^ hooked up with a 20+ year old but she also had sex and got pregnant with him...if she wouldnt have done that ehtn maybe she wouldnt be dead. im not trying to say its her fault completely. csu its his to. he chose to have sex with her get her pregnant and kill her. she made the choice to have sex with him. so if you careful then things might work out right--> not trying to sound snooty or stuck up or know-it-all...im seriously wondering this so if anyone can answer me that it would be awesome

yeahs i guess you are right there....so then wat your saying is that its both of their fault or not?--------> it's his fault entirely that she's dead..and it's her fault for not being the child that she was and for being "out of her league"--------> iunno i guess i just dont see the harm in dating an older guy if your REEEEAALLLLY careful. but heres the thing didnt the person who posted this say she has known him for a long time. so if you KNOW the person is it so bad?

I guess one of the hardest things about wanting to help people is a lot of people don't want to be helped.

"did you know that most child molestors are family members or have been friends of the family for a long time?"

I have a cousin who was molested when she was younger...it was a man who was in the church with my family for years...also a man who would babysit her and her siblings every now and then as a favor to her parents. They'll tell you he was the nicest man and everyone just loved him. Sickening to think the guy next door could be hurting your baby!!

No 14 year old girls wants to hear us say she's silly for "loving" a man because she KNOWS that he "loves" her too...nothing we can will change her mind. A broken heart will be her cure.

I have to say sometimes age does matter if its like a 14 yr old with like a 24+ but i agree with some other people when they say that you don't know how somebody feels for somebody else. I am 16yrs old and my bf is about to be 20 would you call him a child molester and we are in love with each other. When i was 8 i was molested and the guy was like 22. i have dated guys that old at my age and i know the difference between a guy that old who is a child molester and a guy who is that age that actually really likes you. So what i am trying to say is that it is very possible for a guy that age to like or even possibly be in love with someone under the age of 18 and not be a child molester

I'm just wondering...a couple of weeks ago, on Dr.Phil...I don't watch it all the time but I want to be a police officer so I get really involved in these kind of things....they did a whole thing on child molesters. They had a detective go undercover as a molester, talk to this guy on-line, meet up with him and have him spill his guts about how to molest a girl....he gave the detective tips on how to do it to his own daughter!!!! He sat there...and told this guy how he did it to his daughters, and how he told them that if it started to hurt blah blah blah...then DADDY WOULD STOP. WTF??????

And then they had this mom on there that went onto myspace.com and made up a site about this like 14-15 year old girl, and put her sons on her friends list and they sent messages and comments and stuff back and forth and the boys gave this girl their numbers and where they worked. They even gave out a number to one of their friends....a girl.

My point in all of this is that child molesters are everywhere. They hide around every corner. I took a CJ class, and the officer that was teaching would tell us stories from when he was on the street and he told us a story about a guy the arrested multiple times for haveing sex with a 6 MONTH old baby...then did again when she was 8 months...and then when she was 11 months. This was the moms boyfriend...who was in the house everyday.

IT HAPPENS!!!! They are the ones that you lest expect. They are the ones that you trust the most. And for all the young girls out there...I hope and pray that you guys learn from others and don't do this stuff. It's not safe, it's not healthy, and it's not ok!!! If you are 14, and the other one is 17....that's not right!!!!! It's not going to be excepted by anyone in society except other molesters, and other "love struck" kiddies.

Sorry that was so long btw. I ramble when I get mad. Lol.

He isn't too old for you but too wrong for you.