Anyone got any good LIMERICKS !!!

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.

There once was a girl named Madonna
To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"
Warren Beatty said no,
called her a "HO"
Now she cries and smokes marijuana.

There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!

I once sat with the duchess at tea
it was i feared would be
her rumblings abdominable
were simply abominable
and everyone thought it was me

HHAHAHA i luv that one XD

...Got his goat....

There was a young lad I did quote
He said my humor was remote
I said that is perfectly fine
He started to curse and whine
When I tried to return his goat

there was a young lady from eiling
who had a perculier feeling
she laid on her back
opened her crack
and peed all over the ceiling

There was a young man from Leeds,
Who swallowed six packets of seeds,
A blade of grass,
Shot out his ass,
And his balls were covered with weeds.

There once was a man from sheen,
Who invented a wanking machine,
He gave it a go just for a blow,
And whipped his balls to cream

I don't have any but i really love theone about madonna...thats hilarious

Good stuff guys.

There once was a boy named Roy
who was from the city Illinois
he ate too much soy and all did was annoy
so he ate 49 packs of chips ahoy

hey this is fun! lol

There once was a jumbo called Perkins
Who was awfuly fond of gerkins
Then one day at tea
He ate forty three
And pickled his internal workings.

I'd like to take credit for this but it isn't mine. I't just makes me laugh.

There once was a lady from Kent
Who's nose was terribly bent
One day I suppose
She followed her nose
And nobody knows where she went

lolz...but not mine

Writing a limerick is hard
A triple can be quiet confusing
Rhyming and counting is daunting
Easier said in a greeting card
The mind will take much less bruising
Keeping count would not be haunting
Different schemes
Adding the rhymes
Feeling frustration
Going to extremes
It is new times
Of aggravation
Easier playing a game of billiards
Instead writing is my choosing
Triple Limerick I am flaunting

There was a jeep that caught thine eye
She was bought one night in July
Sported a black soft top
Drove around nonstop
Love for my wrangler was not denied

She was five speeds and a deep red
Thine favorite it went unsaid
We played in the mud
She was my best bud
When we departed I hung my head

Yes, there was a jeep I admired
Her beauty left many inspired
Many days of fun
Spent out in the sun
Her openness always desired

--Sherry Lynn Hull Richardson

Show off, lol