Should I or Should I NOT?

SO..

my cousin and i WERE really close, i mean we were best friends. when she was 14 she was in the hospital in a coma for about a month. i was there every second i could, i would even miss my summer classes which i had to take. but no matter what i was with her every day, talking to her cuz i knew she could listen, or talking to her mom, or just crying with her little sister.

Well after she got out of the hospital everyone in the family said "she's gonna do better now, it's her second shot at life"...well boy were they wrong! she is now 15 and pregnant! now it is not the fact that she is pregnant that is hurting me, it's the fact that we are close friends and she can't tell me she is pregnant. she is due to have her baby next month and still when she calls me she won't tell me she' pregnant..she acts like nothing happened! i had to find out trough her mom wo told my mom...

well now the baby shower is in a week and my mom wants me to go and show my support for her, but i don't want to go because she hasn't even told me..

so my question is:
SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT GO TO HER BABY SHOWER?

thank u for taking the time to read this..Take Care!

I think she needs help. I think you should help her.

she may be worried that you will think less of her, i would go and show her that you love and support her. couldnt you have a word with her before the baby shower so then if you decide to go there wont be any arkwardness between you both
good luck with whatever you choose to do

sarah

You were there for her through her medical problems and she is family, why turn your back on her now. I wasnt that young when I became a mum and with out the support of my friends and family would have made it all that much harder. I think you need to ask yourself why YOU feel this way really...is it jealousy? Embarassment?

i think you should go...cuz no matter what you should always be there for her...she's probably to scared to tell u

jealousy and embarrasment is not it at all! i just don't understand how she couldn't have told me her self...if i was there wit her since day 1 she should've known that i would understand. i'm still confused and don't know if i should go or not..though ur answers are helping me a bit more. i was thinking i could also just give her a call jus tin case i do miss her baby shower...let me know what u guys think! thank u so much for ur help!
-take care

youll see the end results when you go to the shower, and she sees that your there.

You should go, show support for her. Be the better person.

She might just be scared and not know how to tell you. You should go and let her know that you love her, and nothing can stop that.

She might be embarrassed to tell you. Maybe she's embarrassed about the whole thing? Is the dad still apart of her life? Just wondering.

It might also just because she needs help...and it just to scared to ask you for help...and she put it off for so long that she doesn't know how to tell you now because she doesn't want to make you mad.

Just a thought.

^^ ur answer seems pretty good...and to answer ur quesion the dad and her are no longer together. her parents and i never liked the dad but i guess it happened for a reason. i hold nothing at all against the baby but i still wish she couldve told me herself that she was pregnant..
once again thanx for the help

Well why are you jealous - do you wish to be such a young mum...is it the attention she is getting? As for embarrassment now thats harsh, no matter what age or circumstance bringing a life into the world is a blessed and precious task for a women and man to do, there is never any cause for embarrassment and on that note I really do think you should have a look at your attitude in relation to the jealousy and embarassment your feeling towards her and her unborn child.
I do however understand your feelings towards her NOT telling you, perhaps the embarssment you feel is something she finds hard to come to grips with herself, I mean with her changing body, about to become a mother so young, hormones and what not maybe she respects you and admires you sooo much she doesnt want to have to admit that to you! Put yourself in her shoes before you make judgment on her, just imagine how alone and hard it be for her, and scary for ALL mothers especially so young! Dont miss her baby shower PLEASE go if not for her then for the beautiful baby she about to have, Im sure you wanna be a part of both of their lives once he or she arrives...
Let us know how you go hun and goodluck!!

Okay well ^^, you've got it wrong...first off jealousy is something i do not feel towards her, i don't want to be a young mother and all the attention she is getting isn't exactly "good" attention. A baby is a blessing, and there is no way I would be embarrased of her. What I feel is neither jealousy or embarrasment...it's just anger that I hold against her. It is anger because she couldn't tell me herself that she was pregnant..I wish I could've heard it from her instead of anyone else. That baby..I will love that baby no matter what, and I have kind of decided that I will attend her baby shower, I'm still not sure but I'm leaning more towards it now. I have nothing against that baby, and I will be there for that aby no matter what. My cousin and I just have issues to solve, and she just needs to let me know why SHE wouldn't tell me she was pregnant...the baby shower is this Saturday and if anyone is still interested I'll let you know how it went If I do end up going...Thanx for everyones help!! I love ya'll!

Sorry I misread your reply to me :o) Believe me being a young mother is a beautiful thing - I've been there, heck Im still there. The attention I got was always positive and welcoming - never negative! Im glad however you have decided to attend her shower, it will mean the world to her and her baby in the future if you want to be a big part of both of there lives and believe me right now she needs all the help she can get! Well I think after the shower is over, so as to not ruin a great celebration for her and the bub you should let her know how you feel if you think your capable of doing it without getting angry, even tho you are and have every right to be also. Just let her know what she did upset you and why it did so and hopefully you girls can move on from there as friends.

Sorry to tell u this...her mom called my mom on monday and she told her that she wasn't sure if she was having the shower anymore. my mom says she didnt sound too convinced...she thinks they just don't want us to go because they think we are now embarrased of her! i love my cousin to death and twice goes for her baby...and either way i know that baby is always gonna be a great part of my life. i just wanted to hear it from her so i could've been there for her since the beggining...i have missed all the great times she had during her pregnancy, including the bad times such as morning sickness. i wanted to be there with her when she had her first baby...although i did believe it would bein like 10 years...this baby just came sooner than planned