what am i supposed to do with myself?

i can't stand being around me any more. i have no friends because they are all idiots and don't like me. i know that they talk behind my back and i try to be as nice as i can to them, because in the school i'm in now, there is no one elce to be friends with. by "best friend" ditched me for the 2 boys that she hangs out with now and i don't know the last time ANY of them called me, i think its been about a year. i think i'm fat, so i try not to eat, and it works some times and so i don't eat for a day and a half and i loose like 3 lbs, but then i lose control and eat and eat, and gain back the 3 lbs, then i do it again. i don't have a boyfriend, and my mom is a complete... not nice person... like all the time. she even yells at me for things my brother does. no matter what i do i think i'm ugly and i just want to die sometimes, but i'll never comit sewiside cuz i'm not stupid. and there is a ton of other things.... i don't know what to do. i live on 2 main roads, (mom and dad are divorced) so i can't go running and my house is a crap hole so we don't have any room for a tredmill so i think there is no other way for me to loose weitht. i just don't know any more.

help

Hi, I'm in a simialar situation at the moment i.e. my life is crap, I probaly wont be able to help much but if you wanna talk u can donkeyland_dizzily@hotmail.com sometimes talking can help, especialy if its someone you dont really know because they wont judge u so much, ven if they do it makes no difference if you dont know them, bye Beth(soz its kinda rambly, I'm crap at sentences.)

Awww poor girl. I've been going through the same thing with friends to. It seems that all my friends started ditching me, and I still don't know why. But whatever at least I have my man. Who needs friends.

don't worry abt frens ditching yo..
show dem dat u can even survive wid out those kinda frens..n like u said u r being nice to those idiot's or dorks..well stop dat..if ur frendliness went nowhere dan stop it now..for your r just wasting time....

now if u are alone.wid no frens...ydon't u make some net's frens..i'm sure they'll help,..
i no dat u hav no frens in school well ...maybe you can change school...ya..or y not try to make frens wid new students if they come....

n abt dat fat stuffs don' worry...i'm glad dat you are well kinda fat..for you can defend da guys if they touch u bad way..
n i'm sori for kinda fat u r ..for no guys 'll lok at u..

but if he's da guy for yo..i'm sure he won't look at ooutside u but inside you....

P:s: i'm also kinda fat..n i've got a bf who loves me da way i'm ..

Hope dis info helps you...

good luck in ur comming future...

Soo..Sorry if that sounds harsh but you want opions right?

Okay well first of all it sounds like you don't have any friends because the people that you were talking about in no way sounds like the definition of a friend...We have names for people like that at my school!!!

So find new ones and peole say this is hard but people get dicthed and dumped on every single day and those people who do guess what? There looking for firends to , Just dont go for popular friends because that never works out too greatly , go for the ones who will actually care...Now your self esteem issue obviouslt you don't have very much self-control so work on that? As much as people tell you ''don't worry about it'' and ''nobody cares if your fat'' but bluntly people do care and you care and your not going to get happy if you dont like yourself so take some control and do something about it , go for a run and you dont have to not eat just eat right like substitute a hamburger for an apple! Hhhmm....Apples (yummy)

I know what ur going through if u would like email me at bubles4u1989@yahoo.com