*.*.*.*.*.*CONTEST*.*.*.*.*.*FuNnY

Ok, I was 2 when this happened. Yeah, I remember it somehow, but it was funny to everyone I remember.

I was only two, when my family and I,
Were all in Oregon, as I ate a sadwich on rye.
It tasted kind of gross, but I was so hungry,
And no one had anything else, so it was good enough to me.

Anyway, we were at the lake, sitting by the water,
It was me, my Grandma and Grandpa, and my father.
We were about to get in the large boat,
When I saw my reflection in the water float.

My face was covered, in mustard and cheese,
As well as some snot cause I had just sneezed.
I screamed in terror, as everyone laughed,
So I had to wipe my face before boarding the seacraft.

So I bent over by the shore, to get water on my face,
When I fell over head first, since I had no grace.
Luckily it was shallow, as I came up crying,
Now covered in mud, everyone laughed so hard they were dying.

So now I was soaking wet, and flys were attacking me,
And I had the strangest feeling of having to pee.
So I did, right there, and that was the end,
We came home from the lake, and told all my friends.

Never got to go in that boat, since I was such a mess,
There was mud and pee all over my nice dress.
The good thing was, was that the mustard was gone,
But I had to take a shower, on my front lawn.

~*Who Cares?*~

*this was in 6th grade I think

It was a nice sunny day
To be surrounded by friends
We got into a circle
To play some game again

It was weird I must admit
throwing a golf ball all around
But we were insanely bored
Throwing this ball we found

Then a teacher called me
To take a picture for the school
I said a brief goodbye
And headed for our old school

When I came back
No one seemed to notice me
Until...I walked into the game
Where the golf ball zoomed at me

It struck my forehead
Right in the middle at that
Then I crumbled to the ground
Held my head as I sat

I snickled and giggled a little
As a big red circle appeared
My friends all laughed too
It was a memory we all shared

okay, here's quite possibly the most retarded thing i have ever written, but its a 100% true story, and of course i left out some details to keep a wee bit of my dignity, hope you enjoy...

26 bottle of beer on the ground,
I took them down and swallowed them up
And ten minutes later I peed in a cup,
I gave it to my friend, told him it was good,
Little did I know, he switched my drink
So I drank my urine for I couldn’t think!
Boy was I pi$$ed! I just drank pee!
But later that night, I got my revenge,
I stared at my bench; it was staring at me,
Laughing at me for drinking my pee,
I was full of rage, and loaded with beer,
I lifted the bench without a fear,
Hurled it away, as if It were meant,
To land inside my good friend’s tent
I ran away, I ran so far,
I trip on a tree, I fell on a car,
I blame my house, it was hiding again,
40 feet wide was not wide enough,
It really hid good, But even back then,
I was wise and witty, clever and keen,
One hour of searching, i found the unseen
I found my room and fought with the door,
Found my bed, but slept on the floor,
And when I woke, I was just fine
A tiny little headache, but I couldn’t wine,
For I was 17 with a lesson just learnt,
That beer is bad, but urine is worst…

lol. wow AL.

lmao. wow. that wasnt really a poem but OMG THAT WAS FUNNNI! i was laffin so hard.

The Mailbox

This story starts ,when me and my best friend learned to drive
It's a wonder either of us is still alive
We snuck the keys and tipped toed across the floor
Not making a peep as we quietly closed the door
I was always great at going forward but never in reverse
It was as if I had been cursed
This one day I got brave and decided to back in
I looked at her and said be sure I am good ,Look Again!
I said oh GOD!! What was that?She said you hit the mailbox
I said hurry do something ,she said I can't I am in my socks
She tried her best but it was up against the truck
Everything failed that mailbox was stuck
The man that owed it came out yelling in the yard
She tried to move it but it was just to Hard!
So I pushed in the clutch,and put my foot on the gas
I have never seen a person run that fast
I forgot my friend I left her there
At that moment at time I didn't care
I slowed down enough for her to jump in
I told her there's noway I am ever trying that again!
Moral of the story,
When you have a truck that's on lend
Never hit a mailbox and forget your best friend....

LOL This really happened......

My Grandmother
by ¤• נєѕѕу •¤ ™

As I stare
At the lady
In front of me
My eyes get big
And I start to giggle

Her dress is far too tight
On her already flabby body
And as she moves about
Her dainty kitchen
Cooking a pie
She wobbles around
And sings horribly out of tune

Her frizzy gray hair
Sticks out of place
And the glasses for her small eyes
Slip further and further down her sweaty nose,
With every note she sings

She looks at me and inquires
"What are you giggling at, young lad?"
Her amusing accent makes me snort
And when I can no longer hold it in
I say goodbye to the lady and her strange ways
And walk out of the dainty kitchen
And laugh until tears stream from my eyes..

This lady is my grandmother
And although I love her dearly
She will always remain
The funniest lady I have ever met..
_______________________________

hope this is okayy.. :) um.. i wrote it because i wanted to write about something funny and its not really true.. hehe :)

Volcanoes, How I hate them and their silican dust.
I mean, they were pretty cool, but I do not like them any more.
Why do I dislike them?
Is it their color, or shape?
No, I hate them for a worse reason.
I got a disease from them, and I can barely say it!!!
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is what they call it.
You say it, I dare you!!!
It isn't very easy, when you think about it.
And, since it being a lung disease,
I WON'T HAVE A LONG TIME TO SAY IT ANYWAY!!
It messes up your lungs, coats them with something, I think.
Now I am here to warn you.
DO NOT GO AND SNIFF A VOLCANO!!
You may end up with my fate...
and believe me, you don't want it.

============
I wrote about this because it was hilarious, me and my boyfriend were having a 'spelling bee' to see who knew the most big words, and all of the sudden, he pulled this one out. I told him he was nuts, and he looked it up and showed it to me. I was laughing so hard. I luv ya Shrob(nickname).
It was this year.

Downhill Wagoning Club

Slowly we trudged to the top of the hill
Repeating tradition simply for the thrill
We pulled along our red Radio Flyer
To break old records, was our desire

Finally the crest of the hill could be seen
We felt invincible at the age of just fifteen
We stopped moving and came to a halt
The wagon shows many year's of assault

Memories flood us as we get prepared
The thoughts of wagoning stunts we dared
We finally started to pile ourselves in
Packing three people in the rusty old bin

We pushed off to start, gaining good speed
The weight of us three wouldn't let us suceed
We noticed the wagon began to lose steering
Across the dirt road, our machine was veering

Suddenly below us the metal was twisting
But we tryed to ignore it and kept persisting
It was shortly after that we could go no more
Our wagon collapsed, right onto the floor

Clearly we had gained a few pounds that year
We frowned and packed up our wagoning gear
Our weight had been way too much to hold
We'd have to wait for our Wagoning Olympic Gold

-------------------
So, if you didn't understand any of that... I'm really sorry. Haha. What happened was my cousin, my brother, and I take the same RadioFlyer wagon up to the top of this hill and ride it down every year. Well, one year we were a bit to heavy for the wagon to handle and it completely fell apart beneath us.

lol.. yay! :P two more!

Don't worry about this post, Sorry.

W00t! 2nd to last will be me.

I Love Cheese
by HeartzOnIce

I love cheese
It's very good
Yellow to blue
It's a great type of food

Dip crackers in it
Have some on pizza
Lactose intolerant?
Try soy mozarella

Stick it on spaghetti
Have it alone
Everything's nice
When you're snacking at home

I love cheese
I shall make it mine
On Feb. 14
I shall give out cheese valentines!

Woo! I'm here for the last spot.
___________________________________________

I was so very young at the age of five,
Innocent, barely aware of my surroundings.
My brother, you see, saw this and took every single advantage.

He was about 17 at the time, popular and strong,
And he didn’t have any doubt within his mind.
So, when he told me all his wild stories, he left nothing behind.

Sometimes they weren’t the truth.
Sometimes they were bent to believe.
But how was I suppose to know,
Merely at the age of five?

My friend ate tapioca pudding at lunch one day
About a year ago.
I asked why she was eating fish eggs,
And she laughed, and said, who told you that?
My eyes grew big, and my face flushed red,
I’ve been lied to, at that, fooled by my brother.

Of course that wasn’t the only thing I learned.
Through my years, and many more to come,
I found out what was lies, and what was just the truth.

Humans could not be gifted with flight to fly at age 10,
Campbell’s Soup didn’t put pounds of glitter to poison,
Chicken Pox wasn’t a deathly disease,
Mosquito bites wasn’t a sign that you were lying,
When I got cut, I was going to bleed to death if I didn’t stop it,
And of course, who could forget, Santa wouldn’t come back if I was bad.

With all these made up things, you think I’d learn by now,
But my brother still tries to fool me at the age of 25.
I think I’ve learned his game,
But who can be sure?
I only have to watch out
And ask others if it is true again.

You could say I’m gullible,
Or just plain stupid,
But that is what makes if funny…
I believe anything!
___________________________________________

I picked to write this poem because its just shows how I grew up with my brother telling me all these things... and then I was mad, now I just laugh even thinking about them.

YAY!! Finally a contest where everyone gets something.:P

YAYY! thank youuu! :D my latest poems that you haven't done please! hehe.. great job everyone!

Ooh! 8th Place is good enough for me.

Uh...

'Break of Sanity'
and,
'The Seer'

And you may pick the other two poems that you want to r/r/c. It can be any title that draws your attention. Thanks!

yay! thanks. haha. Can you r/r/c:

cut
hit the floor
complete with red stains
heartbreak
would never
i refuse

& i can't pic a seventh so whichever you want

THANKS AGAIN!

SWEET 4th PLACE!! SCORE! i dun care wat 1s u r/r/c. any that dun have a lotta comments wood b better. thnx so much!
~*W.C?*~

Wow I can not believe I won first place!! Thank you so much.Everyone did such a great job and congradulations to everyone.You can pick the poems that you R/R/C.lol Thanks again.
Tisha~

I won third? I thought my poem was terrible! lmao oh well, I won't argue, If someone wants to award me for drinking my own urine then, please be my guest...

Anyhoot, u can read whatever poems you want of mine, Choose the ones that seem interesting, my better ones are the featured ones...
Thanks a bunch, your friendly neighbourhood frenchmen: ---AL---

aww.. thank youu! i was just wondering why you didn't vote? dont mean to be rude, but it says "17 poems r/r/c" doesn't that mean you vote too? but thank you for all the comments! :)

CAn you rate
My New Home
and
What is this world?

Yippee

You only R/C on 2 of mine. I just thought you was busy getting everyone elses done....
Tisha~

you commented mine.. :) not sure if you voted though :P

Nope, you haven't vote or commented on mine

~*ForbiddenEyes*~

You didn't vote or comment mine.

woot :) I do love cheese!~ and I got a prize for it *gasps* o_O i have a strange sense of humor but I really do love cheese!

Okay... first up, thank you for judging :)
Next, please comment on these 5 poems [thank you] :

I hate being sick
Tattoo
Phoenix
Dry Tears
Crying is its own poem

!*!*!*!Thanks!*!*!*!

you didn't comment or rate mine.

Woah, did the first post get deleted or something?

suspended it.. sorry

haha that really scared me. i thot that sum1 stole me poem and name! ahhh. lol did u do mine? i dun remember?