Im depressed

Hi....I am really sorry to waste your time everyone...but this time i need help badly

this girl that i always keep talkin about...well i think half the world knows she is leaving in a months time...but i'll just recap...i used to like her she never liked me, stuff happened, we stopped talking for months, and now are friends again.
we are really good friends...first i used to call her...now she calls me too....we talk online too...i spoke to her a lot today...and ive grown really close to her and she has become a wonderful friend. its 11 30 at nite here and i was in bed...and these thoughts kept running through and i am so bluddy depressed now. shes leaving to another city. and now im close to her. when she was in my class..and we wernt talking...i would walk past her without looking...trying to avoid her...and now that she is leaving and that i am never going to see her again, i have become so so so close to her...and i dont know if i still like her....i swear i dont....she told me about a guy she likes and i got jealous...so i dont know....ive tried telling my self and everyone i dont....and i cant go back to saying i do...but i think i do. i'll have to get over that and there is no other alternative. fine. but what about friendship? im crying now because i'll have to let her go....i wnt be abble to talk to her anymore....im so happy wen i get to talk to her....and we both talk like best friends now....and we are just a little away from BEING best friends. writing stupid poems about that doesnt help. ive written four on that. i dont know what to do. i literally feel searing pain in the middle of my chest...somewhere in my sternum....i cant get it out my head. please help. i know all of you are here for me. but i need to DO something. dont u feel sad when a friend you are SOOOOO attached to goes away? and she wont come back to this city for two years?

Sorry for wasting your time. I think i just have a screwd up life. im really, really, sad.

Yeah, I'm sure I'd be very very sad. She's coming back eventually though? I don't think you have a life that is any more screwed up than the norm. Sorry to hear you're sad. The future might not be as dark as it seems though.

Its not that. I dont care if girls come. I just dont want this one to go. i CANT let go..

Her leaving isn't something you have control over. You letting go is something that you can facilitate, but ultimately it is time that will make you let go...

...or not. If you two talk a lot over the next two years, who knows? That isn't the point though. Just remain calm and accept the things that you cannot change.

i completely agree that this would be heartrending if it were to happen to me..
but she will be back soon, and you`re young. and you`re sure to find someone else who makes you feel just as good. maybe, when she does come back, you won`t think about her that way at all.
you`ll see, things will all turn out for the better.

**samantha.

no one wants someone they care about to leave, but it happens every day. i know you are thinking that you will never get over this girl, but you will. all people go through exactly what you are feeling right now as hard as that is to believe because i know you are hurting so badly it feels like your heart is actually breaking. my best advice is to LET yourself get over her for now, appreciate life even if that does not involve other girls...you can accomplish a lot in the next two years and really figure out how you feel about her. when she comes back in 2 years, something may or may not happen...but you will always be friends. i am sure she will miss you just as much as you will miss her and do not forget that. after all, you will still have friends around...but she is going to have to let go of ALL of her friends. so for now, be there for her and appreciate the time you have had together. two years isn't as long as it seems, believe me. you are only 15 with so much more life ahead of you. keep writing poetry and talking to people about how you feel, don't bottle it up. love, jane

OKay. TIME OUT. PAUSE.

It sucks like *butt* to lose friends, I know....it's horrible and you missthem so much.
Bright side: you don't have to lose touch, and you will make a new friend.
You'll miss her alot, so savour the time you have now, don't ruin it. You'll wish you had (/hadnt) when she's not here anymore.

But don't convince yourself that you are depressed or that you have a screwed up life because your friend is leaving.
Yes, it sucks so much, and I can understand how you would feel like you might be depressed, but depression is super deep and super painful and sort of..I donno..it kind of takes moe than one thing to cause it. that's not a very good way of putting it, I'm sorry.
But honestly, if you start saying you have a screwed up life when you actually kind of don't, then eventually you probably will, because you've kind of...dug yourself into a hole. Make sense sort of? I hope so.
I don't just want to bash your sadness, becasue it is sadness, and it needs to be felt. But try to be careful not to close yourself into a box, because then it will be alot harder to find a way out.
Maybe you should talk to your friend about it.