Not doing so hot..

Look.. honestly, i`m thirteen years old and unfortunately have been cutting and things like that for nearly five years. Though I`m rich and was even voted most popular in my jr high school, i just don`t feel that anyone honestly and truly cares about me. I think I need someone maybe just to talk to..

Samantha
(x3loveisahoax)

Well there are plenty of people to talk to. I'm not sure what sort of conversation you'd want, but you could PM people you meet in the Members' message forum or the meet community members forum.

I'm sorry to hear that you are cutting, and that you have been since you were 8. I believe that that points to an underlying difficulty of yours, and I think that you should probably do your best to stop.

No, honey, i cut for longer.. and btw, i WAS voted most popular in junior high...
I'm a cheerleader, thats a sport. I don't watch TV.
And I have been cutting since I was eight, and I've got the scars and therapy to prove it.
Honey...... wtf is wrong witchu.. ??

Samantha..

Angelina, take it easy.

Why are people so incredibly rude like that, sean??
I can`t believe it..
That stuff is exactly why I`m here... and basically the reason i don`t want to be.
I hate those "get a grip on life" people.
They`re offending to the people (like me, for example) who honestly just cannot grip ANYTHiNG.

*samantha.

Angelina misunderstood what you were saying, and got upset because she figured you're being stupid and immature.

Angelina gets upset sometimes, and says things that can be rude, but she's a good person. I'd say the same for nearly everyone on the site (the good person part). Most people who post want to help, they just have different ways of going about it.

PM people you think will be willing to talk with you if you don't want too many 'negative' posts.

Okay, thanks.
But isn`t it kind of awkward just PMing someone and being like..
i`m 13 and suicidal, wanna help??

I just started on this site a couple of days ago.. I`ve only got three poems up so far.. and still a little confused about the whole concept.

Do you think you can comment on my poems?? I just wanna know how they are. I should have a couple more up there within a few days.

In the future, I'd limit the requests to have your poems read to the forum for requesting comments.

You can PM me with said requests, and if you want to chat I guess you can PM me too.

I can understand it being awkward to 'randomly' PM people, so that's why you should get active in the site: meet people you like and trust. PM them, talk to them. Hear their stories and tell yours. The site is vast and the people are numerous. You'll find people.

Okay, thanks. I hope I do find some people because so far I`m not really finding any nice ones. But thanks for the advice, I`ll keep this all in mind.
But question, why is requesting comments and stuff always banned?? I don`t see why ..

*samantha

There is a forum for it. Of course people want their poems commented on, and if they could do it anywhere, then all the threads on serious topics would get filled with requests for someone to read someone else's poems. This way, if people want to read some poems, they know where to go, and if people want their poems read, they know for sure that people know where to find their requests.

P.S.

I'm a nice person! Haha, just kidding.

Hahha, actually yes you are a very nice person and i appreciate your helping me out.
I joined a poetry club, but I don`t know how to find out if they accepted me or not.
And i submitted two poems but last time i checked, they did now show up anywhere. Why is this??

**samantha.

Well:

"Hahha, actually yes you are a very nice person and i appreciate your helping me out."

I'm a moderator, helping out is one of my duties, but I'll admit I like doing it too.

"I joined a poetry club, but I don`t know how to find out if they accepted me or not."

If you're on the page "Your Poems" and you look on the right hand side there is a link called "Poetry Club". If you click on that, it'll tell you your status. Joining a poetry club is, in my opinion, either very useful or very unimportant -- and that depends on both the club and on how much you participate.

"And i submitted two poems but last time i checked, they did now show up anywhere. Why is this??"

Either the internet made a mistake or you submitted them incorrectly. I'd try again.

Okay, thanks. Except when i look under MY POEMS, there they are. They just don`t appear in the little "showcase" area..

I participate a lot, so i hope the poetry club will come in some use. i guess i`m kind of emotionally attached to poetry and music, and i like to be around them as much as possible. I play the flute.

You`re a moderator?? That`s cool. Do you get to be one of those after you`ve been on the site for a long time, or, did you like, help construct the site??

**samantha.

well i gotta go now.. so i`ll talk to you later.
thanks for the help, i appreciate it.

bye.

**samantha

I did not help construct the site, that would be Janis, the administrator.

I became a moderator something like 2 years ago, and was one of the first moderators instated. If you go to the front page of P&Q, on the left hand side there is a link called "moderators". If you click on that, you can see a list of all the forum fairies and the chatmods.

As far as your poems go, try deleting them and reposting them, I really can't think of a reason why they didn't work.

I'm also considering moving this thread from the sadness and depression section to the members' message forum, or the meeting community members forum, since we've sort of moved past the depressed stage and into the meeting each other stage.

So you WERE voted most popular in Jr high school...

WoW. I don't cut, and I was never voted for anything.

It seems like youve seen this site before and post a post like this this just to piss people off. Congragulations it worked lol (Just based of some negative disscussion around) lol

"THIS IS PATHETIC."

Calm down.

"Samantha said that she has been cutting since she was eight, and then accosted another member by saying "Honey...... wtf is wrong witchu.. ??""

Angelina misread Samantha's post and ridiculed her about 'not' being voted most popular, and saying that was shallow. In reality, Samantha was stating that she realizes that she has been very fortunate, but is somehow still self-harming.

"You need some serious help, Samantha, and getting defensive isn't going to do anything for you."

I agree, serious, professional help is definitely a good idea.

"For that matter, neither is posting a thread so you can whine to strangers on a poetry website."

She didn't post this thread for advice about cutting, she just wanted to meet people and talk with them. Your post is off topic.

thanks, sean. you`re helping a lot.
and you`re right, i`m just trying to meet people. about the professional help, i`m already getting it and there`s no need to worry.
but see what i mean.. some people, ya know??

**samantha

Annelyse,

You're right, and I was planning on moving this to that forum anyhow. She met the two of us though, and we aren't depressed! Or well I'm not, I guess I shouldn't assume stuff.

Angelina,

sport Pronunciation Key (spôrt)
n.

1.
1. Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively.
2. A particular form of this activity.
2. An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively.
3. An active pastime; recreation.

My understanding as someone who's known a pretty good amount of cheerleaders is that they most certainly do consider it a sport, and it seems to fulfill the definition. That really isn't important though.

As far as apologizing for the needing help, I don't think you need to apologize for that either.

I don't see how what she's doing is pathetic though. Asking for friends is perfectly reasonable.

Honey, cheerleading is TOO a sport.
A cheerleader is an athlete who can jump, fly, kick, catch, throw, toss, tumble, and lift.
plus we compete and my squad was in first place.

cutting myself is not "pathetic" exactly, maybe the fact that i`ve been doing it so long.. but not cutting in general.

**samantha

The cheer conversation is irrelevant. If you two want to fight about it without any sort of supporting facts that would make it a debate, then feel free to PM each other. This thread doesn't exist to talk about cheerleading.

Whether or not cutting is pathetic depends on the eye of the beholdler. What Angelina calls pathetic, I call sad.

"Okay, thanks. I hope I do find some people because so far I`m not really finding any nice ones. "

LOL, you should have joined this site at the time I did. It was a time when there was "groups"
A lot of people on here seem rude, but we just have our own opinions. They're good people and want to get to the point to help people out of their misery by opening their minds to other ideas.

okay, thanks. well i can definately tell that you all have your own opinions.. thats not subtle at all.

**samantha

Yes there can be some rude people out there. And yes some people don't think cheerleading is a sport. Thats there thoughts. But yes Samantha you should get help for your problem. 5 years of cutting is a problem, i think you would agree with me on this? But everyone needs to keep in mind that people view the topic "cutting" as useless, pathetic, an attention getter, and so forth. But to some people this is a way to deal with there problems. Im not saying its a good way, but thats just 1 way to deal with things in there life. Others might do it by ignoreing or being mean to people, but hey im not trying to disagree with people on this subject but you should try to understand them before you critize them. Again not trying to say you can't express your opinions or anything.

i completly know where ur coming from... i used to cut for like, 2 years and absolutely NO one knew. my mothr found out one day, took away anything & everything that i might have used, and i stopped, but she didn't understand why i was dong that. she still doesn't. i ran away for a whole weekend about a month ago because i needed to get away and think. she cannot accept the fact that i really got to think and hang out with sum of my (now) closet friends and then i got to clea my head. now she's got me i effing counseling. i still feel the same way as wen i was cutting, but the counselor is helping (barely) because i can't really explai how i feel or why i feel that way, so she uses these really wierd tecniques to figure out what's going on with me. get a Christian counselor, (even tho i can't really say i'm christian) it really feels good to know that someone is praying for you to feel good again.
that's my story and my advice. Hope it helps!
~*~*~*~*~
luv, Crissy

awww, thanks crissy!! thats so nice. thanks for the adice, but i`ve already got a counselor. And Mallori, trust me honey i COMPLETELY agree that this is a problem, and i know that it should be solved. We`re in the process, at least, and I guess all that counts is that I`m really trying.

**samantha

I think that is wonderful Samantha. Im proud of you b/c you are facing your problems and not running away from them. That takes a lot of courge to do.

ditto. i takes a lot to reach out and admit you have a problem, instead of covering it up. i've been there. i know from experience.

oh wow... i just thought about this... it took me like, *counts on fingers* 5 seconds to scroll up to da top of this page. lots of people want to help you.

Yeah, I know. I guess now that I realize that I`m loved and want to try -- more people like me.

Thanks Crissy !

Samantha Hollywood

Samantha Angelina is 100% correct get your head out your own bum and wake up to reality, smell the roses how ever you wanna state it. How bad is your life really - to me you sound like an attention seeking actress seriously its pathetic...

Cutting since you were 8?
PLEASE

Have some respect for those people who really do have issues...and grow up!

wow, I think all of the people posting in this forum are generally good people but for some reason the forum itself has really brought out the cruel, disrespecftul side of all of you. first of all, who cares if cheerleading is a sport?!?! At least Samantha IS getting out and doing some physical activity and if cheerleading makes her happy, then great! Second of all, if Samantha has been cutting since she was 8, give her advice and try to understand why she is depressed...or at least try to understand THAT she is depressed. If Samantha is lying about "cutting since she was 8," she obviously has some problem or else she would not be lying. If someone seeks attention, they do it for a reason. Maybe Samantha is insecure and feels like she is alone and no one really understands her. Whether she has been cutting or not, she obviously has been hurting. Is it so wrong to ask for someone to talk to? And...why would anyone make fun of her for trying to talk to people in the Depression forum? Aren't you able to post answers on this topic for a reason? Personally, I find it easier sometimes to talk to people online that I have never met and have no personal connection with, rather than someone who really knows me and cares about me who may be hurt or uncomfortable with me bringing up the topic of my depression. I'm sorry but, even if Samantha seems fortunate, like an attention seeker, or a liar...don't be so judgemental and at least TRY giving her a chance....

My two bits of advice for you Samantha:
1) Maybe being in the spotlight and being so popular is what makes you depressed because you feel like you are trapped in a mold, and you have no space to be yourself and relax. It seems like the popular girls are almost always depressed. Try stepping down and making friends with other people...maybe some tomboys or some nerdy girls that have a lot to share with you, other than gossip and fashion.
2) Try not to call people "honey," or any name similar to "honey." It is degrading.

Oh to be 13 again...

I thought life was so terribly tough. But then the years passed, a couple of mates came back from UN service and told me about the mass graves of Kosovo and the children they had seen there, butchered and mutilated in the name of religion and war. And to my own ends I sank into a deep depression at the crumbling of my own family and the helplessness of my desire to hold it all together against the odds, working 70 hour weeks and not taking a day off for two solid months.

And then I got to travel to a 3rd world country and see what life is like for a 13 year old whose family are so poor that they cripple that child at birth so they can earn money as a beggar on the streets of the tourist towns and cities. How that 13 year old becomes a puppet and the main wage earner in one, at the hands of parents who believe that it is just and it is right, because if it was not their God would strike them down.

It is hard, at 13, to know how the world works. It is hard, at 13, to realise you are NOT the centre of the universe. But key here is that you CAN learn this in good time. I know this. I used to burn myself with matches and set fire to stuff. At 13.

What an idiot, eh?

""If Samantha is lying about "cutting since she was 8,""

Why would I lie about something like that? That would be horrible. I`d never do that and I don`t seek attention. If there`s one thing I really truly do hate with all my life, it`s those "get a grip on life" people. They don`t understand what it`s like to have to go through this - and putting me down isn`t going to help. If all they want to do is criticize me and making false accusations, they can just leave my topic alone. I made this for certain NiCE people to come in and maybe help me out a little. And there have been some of those people and they have really been helping me out - but some of you are just making it worse.
I`ll try to lay off the "honeys" it`s just kind of a habit I`ve grown in to - most people really don`t like it. Sorry about that, anyway.

I want to disagree with something someone said - about populars being more depressed. I don`t think thats true, I`ve been very fortunate and I know that - but I still feel like something is just missing. Something called appreciation. I can never please anyone and I think that may be what drove me to self harm.

So, one more time, nothing I post is a lie. And if you`re just one of those "get a grip on life" kind of people, please don`t post in this topic as it was not for your degrading advice.

Thanks,
**Samantha Hollywood