feeling isolated?

i am in the middle of my own depression. i am always feeling isolated and sad. but i also find i get angry at myself, i find i am resisting the urge to hurt myself everyday. i can't express my emotions. i am always giving everyone around me help, but i never stop to think about myself. i have been having problems for years since primary school as a matter of interest. i often think that i deserve to be alone but i can never figure out why. i often look for help from my friends but find they are never there for me the way i am there for them or i can never talk to someone if i feel that they might backstab me the way my best friends did.

Your last statement is probably your problem. 'they might backstab me the way my best friends did'. You also say that you help others but never stop to think about yourself.

Firstly, not everyone is a backstabber. It's hard to think otherwise when a friend's done it to you, but you were unlucky. Pick your friends like you pick your nose: very carefully.

Secondly, surround yourself with positives: books that are inspirational - autobiographies etc and positive people and hobbies.

Thirdly, Go have a chat with your doctor if you're feeling down. I say 'down' because once you call it depression you become all serious about it, when in fact we all get down to some degree.

Finally, you said you have problems expressing yourself. You just did express yourself and did it well. You're also on a literature and poetry site use it to express yourself in anyway you want and in any forum and within any poem. Shout and scream at the top of your voice and let us and the world know!!

Good luck

i fully agree with mel on this one-

hope all works out for you.

october xx