Room 101: Another "mood lightener".

Anyone familiar with this excellent British show? Basically it was a chat show, but the guest got to nominate items to be placed into "Room 101": a place where their nominations were banished forever. Almost always lighthearted and diverse, it was ably handled by comedians Nick Hancock and then Paul Merton.

Anyway, what I'm proposing is a quick and (hopefully) fun variation here. Just name 5 things you'd banish to Room 101. But remember: keep it lighthearted. In other words, you KenBores can just not bother contributing. ;-)

Mine:
1) txtspk on da intrnet: I'm all for abbreviated language as a means of saving space/money in SMS messaging, but when it comes to posting on sites/forums where you have adequate time to prepare reasonable language it's just hard on the eye. I've banned people on my site from using it because it's a mutli-lingual site and lots of those that don't speak English as a 1st language are baffled by it.

2) Golf bores: It might be a more interesting sport to play than it is to watch, but why do the people who play it have to describe it as such a LOUD volume in pubs? No one other than their immediate group cares!

3) Mercedes drivers: it's not that I'm jealous of your fantastically engineered and beautiful cars. It's that I'm baffled by your disregard for the indicator signals and the concept of other people using the same road space. Stick a perfectly reasonable human being in a Merc and he becomes a moron, it seems!

4) MySpace haters: it's JUST a website. If you treat it as anything more than that, you should really think about stopping using the internet and getting some sunlight. And friends. Who aren't called "DarkElimN8R" or "MurderousMuRdeRe$$" and suchlike.

5) Permanently bubbly people: To paraphrase the late great Bill Hicks... "Someone told me it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. I asked them if they realised it took more muscles for them to point that out than it did to leave me the Hell alone." I find something severely disturbing about people that are eternally misinterpreting my natural scowl. And I'll also include the people that constantl say "lol" in webcam convos in this, when it is clear they are not in fact "lol" at all.

Anyone else?

This is very interesting, I have never heard of the show.

As for the one's you listed, I agree 100%

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1) Workout Holics: It may be good to workout and gain some muscle/tone for your body. But when you wake-up at 5Am to workout and go to bed at 7Pm, where is the fun when you are on Vacation?

2) Internet lingo: People who use Internet lingo as a way to communicate. Where is the knowledge of the English language or any other language you speak? Instead they make sentences with it, "g2g I'll bb & ttyal" How intelegent does that person look?

3) Alarm Clock People: They turn the alarm clock on, and it goes off at their desired time. Why have an alarm clock when all they do is turn it off when the alarm rings?

4) Braging about looks: Why do people brag about looks? "oh I am so hot" Or "you are looking at the best looking person in town" Or "I am pretty" Or "I am handsome" What is the point, when most of the people that say or state that aren't pretty, handsome, hot, good looking, etc. ?

5) Girl gossip: Why do almost all girls have to say, "like oh my god" Or just "oh my god" for that matter? Is this some kind of girl code? Do they really think that it is proper English? And what about when girls write? what is up with the big letters? when did this become a standard writting style?

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I hope I did this right. :)

Ciao, Joe

Perfect. Although "3" just banished me! And no, I can't explain why!

(Edited by Italian Stallion)

Hmmm i'd say:

1. Hillybilly’s: To quote Bill Hicks here again I find it frightening that in some places people are crying Revolution! Revolution! Whilst some people are still crying Evolution! Evolution!

2. Stickers on CD Cases: You can never get the those off without completely ruining your CD case, that crappy bit of glue that’s always there and makes your hand sticky every time you pull the CD out. Whoever created that is a complete Idoit.

3. Cockneys: Enough said really Chim- Chimeney- Chim- Chimeney - Chim _chim - Cher - bloody Roo

4. Toblerones: A Sweet that is made to cause pain. It always scrapes the top of your mouth and leaves you bleeding, what sick man or woman thought of that a sweet that causes agonising pain.

5. Tight Emo Jeans - Any apparel which lets you see the wrinkles in someones ballsac is not a good thing.

i always feel the need to say sorry in case i offend anybody so sorry in advance. i think i did this right as well hmmmmm.

Ha, I'm going to be an Ed'idte and once again copy his unfair monopolization of Bill Hick quotes.

1. I am a compulsive frowner, it's because, as a demi genius I'm not thinking about all the banal things you mortals are, like shopping and football, no my concerns as those of Gods. And so it is of great annoyance when, in thoughtful mood, people ask me what is wrong.

"Hey Kev are you ok?" . Ripped from my inner journey I am suddenly vercept on all sides and i have to ask myself..I am ok?..I am Ok?..NOT NOW YOU IDIOT!...NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW OK I AM...YOU IDIOT.

2. Spiritual healer scumbag "my granny was a gypsy" people. Poeple who buy crystals to solve their emotional problems, who burn incense when they want a new job..people who say they are taking a craft class bacuse in a past life they made piss pots for soome Queen or King. I'm all for personal belief...but all this commercial crap...all the money for life dIrection...AAAARRGHHH! LET ME DIRECT YOU ALL TO MY FIST OF TRUE SIGHT!..No really, unconditional positive self regard for all chakra's and lives. Jade stone and essence of rose for me.

3. Goths. When they aren't pretending to be vampires of witches, they are makiing love to dead animals and listening to music that was made by people who never go outside or eat anything that has colour in it. Real Goths are fine, the romantic velvet ones, but the mallgoth 13 year old who never smiles and thinks they know some real stuff about life...I want to just clean them up and drive them around the crap parts of town and show them some real harshness...then give them some Led Zeppellin or The Who, explain what real music is and let them go with a device that will electricute them every time the sun is out and they are inside.

"cursed with vison" Bill Hicks.

Lol, Room 101, the place of your greatest fear, is Mr. Smith's case, rats.

Here goes:

Men and women (especially men - in fact just men) who dance at parties weddings or discos over who are the age of 32. They look pathetic and so out of step and fashion.

People who have just entered a realtionship should not be allowed to bring their mobile phones out with them to the pub. You get a pint start to chat and then the text goes off. for the rest of the night they sit there playing text tennis with their new bird/bloke. AAARRRGGGHH

Bird watchers (featherd variety, not the ones above). Self explanitary.

People who can't be arsed (no pun intended) to flush public toilets. Do they think they've left some important work of art for the next person to look at! Dirty bas***ds.

Finally, first year drama students. There's nothing more pretentious than these people ponsing around the campus with their dyed hair and 'oooh look at me' attitude.. They make my blood boil to the point of distraction - and you can never get to the bar for em.

That's it I'm gone from Room 101. Bye.

So much for keeping the mood light...

Mel: on the subject of unfluished toilets, are you old enough to remember Bel Elton's pre-BBC contract stand-up routines?

I agree with Kerri. =)

Ed:

Yes I do and I was paraphrasing. It's so true though, isn't it.

As for Mr Elton, he's touring the uk. Get to see this man.

I dunno... I find him a bit "New Labour" for me. I preferred him when he was a socialist.

I know what you mean, ed. He was an angry socialist on the way up full of fire and brimstone. I guess he's cosy now. A bit like Tyson. Hey oh.