Closure

It's been about... 3 1/2-4 years since me and my ex (JJ) have broken up. We dated about 5 times, and at one point I thought I loved him (I didn't really though). And the last time things ended extermly bad becuase he admitted to using me so that he could date one of my friends. He said it on the phone when I was listening, and my friends pretty much had to force me to tell him it was over. Since that convo. I didn't really talk to him or see him after that becuase he moved. But a couple months after we broke up my friend (the one he really wanted to date) said she saw him somewhere, and that he looked good. Since she told me that at the back of my mind I've been wondering what he's doing, and how he is, and I pretty much can't seem to find closure on the whole situation. I didn't love him but I had such strong feelings for him. Is there anyway that I can try to get closure? Or do I just have to deal with it?

Does anyone have any advice? Please... I really need some.

deal with it or find something to do that requires concentration or make a huge problem that you have to fix

I had somebody who was pursuing me for 'closure' earlier this year. True advice, just deal with it. Chances are he dosen't like you anymore, seeing you will just inspire pointless bad felings for the both of you.

Just leave him alone, hes probly moved on and you talking to him will bring him right back down to where you are. Think of him aswell, best for both of you deal with it and move on.

Heather,

Closure is a hard thing for anyone to find... We all search for this thing called closure when really it's only a way to deal... I know this from experience, because I still want closure from my ex, but the thing is... I have had "closure" just not the moving on... i mean, I have a boyfriend now and that's helping me... But I still think about him... and what went wrong and why and all... But I've decided to let that go and just be happy with my current boyfriend...

Maybe all you need to do is just accept... I'm unsure of what you think or how you feel.. but acceptance is a problem with a lot of people so maybe that will help you... Otherwise, write a poem about it... Sometimes getting things on paper gives us the closure we'd hoped to get from the person we needed it from... I dunno... I'm no expert...

~BJ~

I don't want to talk to him, ever, ever again. I don't want to see him either. I just wanted to know if there was a different way to get closure besides seeing or talking to him. I've accepted the fact he doesn't like me, and probably never did. I've moved on. Now I just want that last little bit of closure. Like I said definetly not seeing him or talking to him.

I don't know his address, so I can't send him one. I don't even know where he lives.

It's all good advice except I CAN'T TALK TO HIM! I dont know where he lives. I don't have his number, his e-mail or anything. If I could I would, but I can't. Last I knew he lived in a different state.

Are there any other ways I can get a sense of closure with out talking to him?

Anyone?