am i a bad friend

This is i guess you can say something that has been bugging me for years now since the second grade.... It all goes back when a kid named Elliot came into my class. I had a major crush on him Well, anyway i didn’t know of what a crush really was I mean come on i was in the second grade but between the middle of 3rd grade my best friend Emily told me that shes liked him since the second
Now here is where i should probably tell you a little something about Emily. When i was in 1st grade she was and exchange student to my class because she cam from another country she didnt understand English, so it was difficult for the teacher to communicate with her so helped her by translating what the teacher said eventually we got to know each other and became best friends i knew her very well and knew she was a very sensitive person...
Which is why when she told me she had a crush on Elliot i didn’t know how to react, so i never told her i liked him too. Over the next year or so i had to be very mean to him because i didnt want him to be nice to me because i didn’t want to like him anymore, but no matter what i did he was always so nice. But what hurt e the most was even though i was mean to him he would still tell me how much he had a crush on Emily and always asked me what she liked and stuff i couldnt lie because she was my bff didn’t want to hurt her. i remember every year when her birthday came aound i would gether 2 gifts one from me and one for Elliot to give to Emily cuz he was so dense and didnt know what she would have wanted.
Throughout elementary school it was like that whenever a holiday came up i would help with the gifts. It really hurt inside but i didn’t care i did what was for the best. I knew Emily liked him and he liked her but they were to scared to admit it and Elliot was rater popular so Emily thought if she got "INVOLVED" with him everyone would know. So it was just like that all through elementary school i never told anyone i had and still do have a crush on him.
And so time went by we all went to the same school just a different class. Me and Emily still walk to school together and home once in a while since we live so close but we both still had that major crush on him even though i still hadn’t told her. But lately all se can talk about is him "oh he did this or he said this, i think he still likes me, i think hes mad at me" dont get me wrong there still not going out b/c he has changed alot over the summer and doesnt talk to any of the "old classmates" anymore well at least not much. And he is way more popular and knows alot of people in he school. He'll still talk to emily and, we dont do the gift thing not until a while ago he asked me if she likes him and if i would help get them to be friends and stuff. I felt like saying "no i dont want ot help you anymore you both like each other so tell her you like her and thats it and leave me out of it!" but i dont i still help him with the birthday gifts and stuff. and i still do it to this very day and it still hurts me
But my main problem is she goes on and on about him while im just trying to forget i ever liked him. but thats not what upsest me the most its tha fact that she only comes to me with her problems and thats it. Emily and i are just not as close anymore cuz she is well popular (in her class at least) ,(no im not saying im friendless its just i sometimes do prefer to be alone anyways..) and she'll ditch me for her other friends, and when her other friends are going to go somewhere she cant go shell come running to me its like im her backup. Lately i have been going through a real big depression stage (my friends dont notice me my sister literally thinks im the stupidest person in the world when she says things to me she'll say it extra slow so ill "understand it" my parents make me feel worthless and on and on) but she hasn’t noticed I feel like i just wan to punch her in that face and tell her i have my own problems to deal with.
So is it wrong for me to feel this way am i a bad friend if i feel this way?

The way I understand it, you haven't actually done anything wrong. If you and Emily aren't such great friends anymore, you should really tell her to stop coming to you with all her problems, it's not fair on you.

You are not their matchmaker, and you make that very clear. Besides, it's not going to be easy to get over him if you're hearing his name from Emily every five minutes.

Spend more time with other friends now, meet new people, and cut Emily out of your life. It sounds like she's using you. You don't deserve that. You really need to put her in her place.

As for Elliot, you're going to have to move on. I'd usually say make him notice you, etc, but it does sound like he's smitten with Emily.

And the way I understand it, you're quite young still, so don't worry too much about it. If you're not always doing things for the pair of them, it'll make your life easier, and Elliot won't be such a big deal to you.

I don't think you are a bad friend but a dumb person. You should stop be the matchmaking as kara said. YOu should tell him how you feel or find some one else. Even if you know his answer at least you told him .

I think you are a great friend. you stuck by her and didnt hurt her feelings. that shows a good friendship right there! if you arent as close as you used to be, then i would say forget her and find some real friends, ones who wont hurt you and who appreciate you. and as for the boy, no boy is worth losing a friendship over. unles you really HATE the friend, then its okay. ;-)