Hiding Cynthia: An Internet Legend In Waiting?

Firstly, my apology to those with short attention spans. Stop reading now, because this may be considered quite long.

Have they gone? Cool. OK: yesterday morning I had the following conversation. I have circulated it throughout my friends and family, as well as a few business contacts that I know like a laugh, and I've been told so far that it's been passed pretty extensively around a larger group of people already.

This conversation is GENUINE. I have edited out a few "what?" and "say again?" moments but otherwise this is verbatim.

I think the poor guy deserves to be up there with Star Wars Kid and Claire Swire (remember her?) for his 15 minutes of internet fame. What say you? Read on...

This is pretty much the entire conversation I have just had with a random stranger. If anyone at all knows WHO Cynthia is, please let me know!

[Phone rings: it is caller ID Withheld. I do my usual, answering but leaving a pause in case it’s an automated system that just clicks off.]

Me: Hello?

Him: Is Cynthia there?

Me: No, there’s no Cynthia here. Sorry.

Him: Stop bloody hiding her from me!

Me: Sorry?

Him: (pause) Stop hiding her from me. She’s me wife, fer Christ’s sakes.

Me: Sorry mate but I think you’ve got the wrong number.

Him: I have NOT. It’s on speed dial.

Me: OK. So what number do you THINK you’ve rung?

Him: Did you not hear me? SPEED DIAL.

Me: Excellent. So you just pressed a random speed dial then?

Him: I. Pressed. CYNTHIA!

Me: OK that’s cool. You pressed Cynthia. How much have you had to drink?

Him: You fucking what?

Me: Well, no offence mate, but you’re clearly either drunk or mental.

[At this point I try to get the voice recorder working so I can record the conversation. I tell him this but the fact goes right over his head.]

Him: I just want to speak to me fucking wife! She’s me wife, fer Christ’s sakes!

Me: Yeah you said. And I said she’s not here.

Him: (now sobbing) Stop hiding her from me!

Me: Is this someone taking the piss?

Him: Did you just ask me if I was drunk? I am not fucking drunk!

Me: Riiiiight. And who do you think it is you’re talking to?

Him: What? What do you mean?

Me: Well you’ve used caller ID Withheld so I doubt you’ve really used speed dial, and you’re asking a total stranger to speak to someone who he has no idea who she is. You sound either mental or pissed, and you won’t listen to a word of reason. So please excuse me if I think you’re just a mate of mine on a wind-up.

Him: Look, is Cynthia fucking there or not?

Me: No mate. Now I’m going to ask you one last time: what number do you think you’ve dialled?

Him: Hang on. [There’s a long pause, and some sniffling. He gives me a telephone number that is the same as mine except for the second to last digit, which is the number below the number he clearly needs to press.]

Me: No mate, that’s nothing like the number you’ve actually rung.

Him: Oh. Cynthia doesn’t live there then?

Me: No mate. And you’ve just spent 2 minutes ranting like a madman at a total stranger.

Him: I’m sorry.

Me: It’s OK. But mate, if I can just give you a wee bit of friendly advice: either sober up first or get a grip on yourself before you even think about trying to speak to Cynthia again.

Him: I’m not drunk though. I’m on the fucking edge man!

Me: Yeah, well be that as it may. It’s not going to help you talk to Cynthia. You need to talk to someone else, I reckon.

Him: What, like a psychiatrist?

Me: Something like that. If you’re on the edge. Just remember: 2 minutes ranting at a total stranger.

Him: You’re probably right. Thanks. Thanks for being so understanding.

Me: Not a problem mate. Have a good life.

Him: Thanks. Bye.

That’s quite simply the weirdest phone conversation I have ever had. I start off being the victim of a random stranger and end up dispensing relationship advice!

Lmao. How interesting. He certainly sounds like an interesting fellow. I really hope he took your advice.

HAHA! Wow, that really is strange!

I wonder if he ever shook himself out of that mood.

I also wonder if he ever found Cynthia?

Well it was only literally yesterday, so give him time!

Actually... don't you all feel that there's a clear reason Cynthia is being hidden from him? ;-)

Heh, yeah....he does seem a tad unstable, doesn't he?

~ hmm...that was interesting. lol. But yeah, you're probably right...theres probably a reason she's missing.

Gosh..I wish I could have a telephone conversation as amusing as that one..

wow....

Woah, that's pretty crazy! lol

lmfao!! =D
that's wicked! =D

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