Poetic justice and EOP club challenge post here

And in response to your singing example,
I wouldnt, as explained in the above post..

And i have emailed you a poem, hat I would like your HONEST CRITIQUE on..

No, i didnt,
but i was talking about my club.
I dont care how you talk to the rest,
being a senior member in Poetic Justice, i choose to look out for my club...
"a literary critic would have torn these to sheds."
if so, then we would have asked a literary critic to do it,
Just have a little more sensitivity thats all

No matter the age harsh Critique will happen,
the feeling of stage, when u see enemies laughin
Take the harsh critique, as a good ol' lesson,
Eop is unique, let them give u, there blessin
Our poems Were not good, so give another try
but let it be understood, Poetic Justice will not cry
we stand to fight, when every moment comes by
you won fair and square, we cant deny
but we'll have to battle again and re-supply,
We'll light up your world like the 4th of july

hehe. i dont know..Im bored ppl...so im jst readin all these posts and makin lil freestyles out of em..lol

Agreed honesty is the best way but brutality is not! You want to help make a better poet, not crush their spirits!

Question to Dwelt are you saying that none of my members poems were good enough for a competition? Because i get the impression that you are saying our poems suck! Please do correct me if i have misunderstood your post!

And i place a challenge to you- you obviously are a good poet- so please critique my work and others on ways that you can improve our poems. Preferably the ones in this competition- of course if you have the time to do so:)

Hey Bob, if you are around, I was just wondering if you got my e-mails?

I cant even be bothered with this no more,
Theres no talking to people like you is there?

Im out..

Bob, can you critique my song as a song then? I know poems do not have chorus's, that's why the word "lyrics" is written in black and white in the title. (oops...just realized I forgot to add lyrics in the title, in the forum...sorry/the word lyrics is written with the title on my main page)

No huffiness here Mr. Bob, now even as I re-read my poem, I can see all the "I"`s sticking out..yuck. Thanx for the comments, it was well taken.

Bob, thanks for your honesty...

"^new yr's day
^what the hell is that......and how many times did you use "I", "you", and "your"....my damn calculator blew up.....be serious"

That is more of a personal poem
New yrs day...A girl that i truly like. came to my house for a new Yrs party..

And i understand the whole concept.. I, You, Your..Bad Words..but you cant make Poetry become one specific style... if u wanted a poem with no, I, you, Your's in it..Create a New Form of Poetry, theres Diamonte, Alliteration, Cinquian and many others, if its such a big deal, make a Form that has none it, I write what is in the head, and if I, you, Your comes straight in it, then i type it
poetry has no rules, regulations, or consequences.
Poetry to me releases thoughts, anger, stress, if you wanna scream, you can scream it through poetry, Having, I, you, Your in a poem Is not bad at all, I LOVE YOU..that has I and You straight in it..now if u can show me in 3 words just like that a Meaning that is more powerful then that id admit im wrong, but in order to have some great poetry I, You, Your. sometimes must be needed, Can you have a poem that has other words in it, Be Great, yes you can, but a poem should never be lower graded because I, you, Your... Im more on the basis of the Message that was sent out, the Rhythm, The flow, The Rhyme, The detail, Structure, I have no concern in there being To many I, You, Yours...And maybe since you guyz have come from the poetry of in the old times, it seems to be the correct, way, but poetry has Changed, many many yrs ago, poetry all seemed to be like Shakespeares, Then Change to poetry you like to use, that has much more bigger, detailed words, and also not using I, You, Your, in it.Now its Present poetry, where now its becoming a more of a Free Verse Style, where you can write wwhat needs to be said, and have it down. Vocabulary has widen and so has the dialect and words we use..
So really to me.
i see no problem with, I, You, Your.
Thats my reality of poetry
To some others, it may seem diffrent and thats okay, we all have a diffrent share and style of what we take and think poetry as,
thats just me.
To me,
if you want I, you, your not to be used in poetry as much..Create your own Form of poetry...
maybe call it the, NIYY(No I You Your)

but thts just me
thanx for the critique though
sorry bout your calculator exploding

I agree with Musician`s Finest, I and You will continue in my poems I am sure, though maybe not so many as I have been guilty of before.

same..
Ill try to fewer it a lil bit..

A teacher last year really taught me the importance of keeping those "No-no words" (her term for them) out of writing. When you had one of those words (1st/2nd person pronouns, thing, got...ect) it was an instant 10 points off. Everyone learned very quickly. It was hard at the time, but the lesson was learned. Not using those words just requires some extra thinking. Extra thinking ushually makes for better poetry anyway.

Well thank you dwelt for taking your time to read all the poems and comment you gladly met the challenge lol i would love it if you read some of my other work, it's much needed. I agree this has been taken a little to seriously by all! So well done EOP- a well deserved victory!

thanks sunny for taking the time to judge the poems! also thanks for liking my poem as well!

"I suggest you look at Angelina Taylor, Jacklyn, Holly, Satin, and others first works and see the vast improvements in their writings....It didn't happen overnight, nor did it happen because they believed in the false praises of their earlier works...It happened because they accepted the challenge to study the craft, to learn, and to broaden their horizon's in the literary world.....Peace"

^^ thanks bob! i'm also glad i restored your faith in EOP!

~Jacklyn