Should I care about my boyfriend looking at other girls, When he

My boyfriend has this thing for blondes, girls that are skinny and Miss America types. I am far from any of those things. He tells me I am his life and his "pretty" girlfriend. But then I find things he has wrote, like a post about him on another web site. He put his interstes as LADYS, cars, and money. Shouldn't the ladies thing go away because he has me? He is always hanging out with friends and going to Hooters. I just feel like I am not good enough. He even goes as far as looking at porn everyday and yet he tells me sex is good between us. Should I worry that he is cheating? I need help in how to deal with this. I am so depressed about this I am starving myself. HELP!!!

well he oviasly likes you because, if a guy doesnt like someone they emediantly break up with them.....

all boys are like that , some grow up and some dont lol....
stress less about it sweeti x x

Elena,

I think you are really self-conscious. If he's said that you are his life, then you really are... Guys don't really like to share their feelings, but when they do, it's usually true (unless they're like my ex that are compulsive liars), but if you trust him, then you should believe him...

I would, however, talk to him about these things that make you feel self-conscious and worry that he's cheating. Open communication is key to any relationship. Tell him how you feel and maybe he'll change the post.

Only worry that he's cheating if there is hard-core evidence... Or like he makes up lame excuses for being late or something like that.

Please don't starve yourself, hun.. Even if you think you aren't thin enough, there are many healthier ways to lose weight. And if it's only because of depression, try going to a psychiatrist and getting anti-depressants or going to counselor so that you can talk to someone about this... If you keep starving yourself, you could become anorexic, which is a big problem... Please message me if you need anything.

~BJ~

here's coming from a guy. wait it out. he's horny as hell. it's normal. but it's you he has feelings for. don't worry about it. just go along with it. he'll eventually calm down... just... drain him... ?

I have to agree with the horny part.

That's why he goes out, that's why his interests lists "ladies", and that's why he flirts and watches porn.

It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. If you guys have a great relationship and he treats you good then it shouldn't matter that much. If it really upsets you though then let him know. He wont change if you don't let him know.

It's a guy thing. I wouldn't let it get to you. You're young....if it doesn't work out.....well.....there will always be someone else.

well as a guy personally i thik what he is doing is wrong but thats just my opinion if you know he has feelings for you and only you and loves oyu then stay with him but if he does all of this and doesn't then i say dump him right now like i said just my opinion =)

I have told him about it. I told him it bothers me and he still does it.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is just plain BS! I'm a somewhat older woman and have been through lots in life. I believe that once you start a relationship that some things need to go in life. You want to go out with your friends, so be it. However, I would watch were I go and Hooters is not the place in my book.
Horny??? Yeah, arent' we all?? Again, if you have a relationship you shouldn't be looking at porn. If your sex is good enough, why looking at porn??? Seems like something is wrong with that picture. It is like a husband watching porn...I would have killed mine!!! LOL
Interests in the ladies?? If you are still interested in other ladies then it is time to give up the relationship.

Nancy,

Thanks for your post. I don't like him going to Hooters. He tells me its for the food. Yeah Right! He says everyday...we have great sex but then last night I found more porn sites on his computer. And we had sex yesturday morning. He said its a natural thing for a male to look at porn and jack off sometimes girlfriend/wife or not. I think thats wrong. I think of that as a form of cheating. He is going to Vegas in October. I'm not aloud to go. Just him and a friend. I don't like the fact that he is going to Vegas for showgirls, strip clubs, Legal Hookers, etc... I know he has never "cheated" on me in the way of contact but he has in other ways. I think with the porn thing.

i agree with nancy, If it were me and I had told him about it and he didnt stop i'd dump his ass.

Elena,
It is very obvious that he is not ready for a real relationship at all. This all about the porn, Hooters and now Vegas smells fishy to me. I do understand if a couple is watching porn together online or television. That is a decision this couple makes for both of them. I just think it is time to confront him and tell him your way or the highway. If he really cares about you he'll change his ways!

I guess your right. I have watched porn with him but he will keep watching it and doesn't care about my feelings. I know the Vegas thing sounds fishy. Thats why I am pissed about it. I really love him but I think its time for a change.

Elena, you need to leave him. Do whats right.

Lisa, it's funny how you can give other people advice, but not yourself.

But I agree with you.

It's not that easy. I love him so much. Plus we work together.

Not matter how much you love him. He obviously has no consideration with your feelings, so why bother?? You wanted advice, you got advice even it is harsh advice!!

If looking at girls is the only thing he does, and he doesn't go after them, I think things would be alright, You must have something, like personality maybe? What my guy friends always tell me is: The gorgeous girls with an IQ of a goldfish are nice to look at, but they are deffenitly not Girlfried material! The girls with personality stand out in the end =) ( not saying that gorgeous girls always have an IQ of a goldfish though =) )

^^I agree.
This guy obviously doesn't care about your feelings. He's not ready to commit. It's natural for guys to look at porn, but this guy seems obsessed. Going to Hooters all the time. Wow, that's not right. If he was ready for a relationship, he would listen to you when you tell him how it makes you feel. He would be willing to make some changes to help your relationship. I say ltell him one more time. Tell him he needs to decide whether or not he's ready to commit and change some things. If he still doesn't, leave him. He's not worth it. You deserve someone who's going to respect you.

I disagree, just becuase a guy looks at porn and other girls does NOT mean that he doesn't care for you. Don't you enjoy looking at posters of HOT guys who are 1/2 dressed and thinking damn if i could have a piece of that? Do you actually think that you're going to get him? NO. Do you not care for your boyfriend because you look at him? NO.
I do however know what where you are coming from, it's hard not being that perfect girl, but alot of guys love girls because of their imperfections. If he says he cares about you he probably dies even if he has a hard time showing you. Most guys think that saying it enough.
BUT if he looks at porn alot I think it maybe an addiction, just like pot, or cigs. Porn can be very addicting if this is the case then, you need to be supportive and tell him you think he has a problem. And if he doesn't want to get help you need to decide if you can still date him with the addiction.
Sorry this post is so long, just had alot to say.

The truth is, the guy is in a relationship, not dead.
He will always notice attractive women, regardless of relationship status.

I think the lot of you are in the wrong. Of course, this is only one side of a story, but let us envision several scenarios:

Suppose the guy was just going to hooters because that's where his friends, possibly a car club wanted to meet once every month or two?

Suppose he was extremely discreete about watching porn, very seldomly, usually only when the Original Poster was on her period.

Suppose the OP had problems trusting this guy, and that she set so called traps around their bedroom to catch the man if he had masterbated.

Suppose the OP is going to Vegas with a family member for his 21st birthday, perhaps this event had been planned for several years, longer than the OP and her SO have been together.

I further ask you to consider the fact that the Original Poster may have had to regularly spy, by looking through personal files and records to check up on her man. To also go so far as to drive by places he says he's going to be with friends to check on him, so on and so forth.

I then ask the OP, if he's never cheated on you, why do you go through his things and check up on him so vigorously. Are you this man's girlfriend or mother?

To the other posters:

Would you be ok with your SO regularly going through your things, setting things specific ways in your room, so if something is disturbed our out of place your SO believes you've "cheated" on them?

Would you be ok with your SO telling you to not see your friends, to no longer participate with clubs that you enjoy?

Would you continue to be ok with this same SO telling you that you cannot go on a trip with a family member that's been planned for years?

Would you feel ok that your SO drives by where you tell them you're going, to check up on you while you're away?

Just wondering about some of the people on the board, it's interesting to see the people that believe they're in positions to be giving advice.

The above person is my boyfriend. I never thought he would write on this subject. I have a few things for the above post. May I say, I don't trust the "family member" he is going with. May I also say, Porn should not be watched UNLESS I am on PMS. Not "VERY SELDOMLY" with as much sex as we have if it is good like he says why does he need porn too? I will say I should trust him to make the right choices. However, When I do find out that he has done something wrong no matter what it is...He should know I am gonna get mad.

Quote:The truth is, the guy is in a relationship, not dead.
He will always notice attractive women, regardless of relationship status.

That is Very Wrong. It's wrong to look at other girls/women and say they are HOT, PRETTY, SEX or whatever. That is wrong when your girlfriend looks nothing like the ones you think are hot. So what is the girl gonna think...That she must be ugly to the guy? I Have never told him to stop hanging out with his friends, I am just tired of always sitting home alone. I have also only once checked on where he was. I have never gone thru his things. I have looked at his history on the computer. But never anything personal. I trust that he would never cheat on me. I just wish the comments about hot girls and the porn shit would go away. I will stop the traps and stop caring about everything he does if he could do those 2 things for me.

How the hell could he be horny? We have sex like 2 times a day. If it's as good as he says it is every time, why does he still have to look at porn? Can you answer that one for me?

Guys are always horny. It's just a guy thing. Lol...That's why you have sex at least 2 times a day. Because you guys are both young, and you both still have a lot of hormones flowing. I do agree that maybe some of this is a little to far. After reading what Nancy said awhile ago.

If you aren't going to do anything more to stop him...then why are you asking for advice? The only thing you can do is talk to him about it. It's not going to stop over night. You need to give him time. If it doesn't get any better, then you need to put your foot down and tell him that either he starts to change his bad habits or you are walking out the door. If he STILL doesn't change it...then no matter how much you love him, you need to take care of yourself and get out of the relationship. If he cares for you as much as you do him, then he will change the bad habits. Just don't expect it to all change at once and over night, like I said.