Darien's Conversation With Himself # 2

* Due to the other thread maxing out and getting lock, I decided to take all of my conversations and post them here, again. So I can keep my creative mind open, and so we will never lose my stupid jokes!*

- The following posts may be found offensive, blastphemous and funny. Some of these ideas are unoriginal, but I can assure you are not copyrighted, due to it being by word of mouth. Also, some ideas are based on true life experiences, and are inside jokes between my retarded friends and I. Some side effects include; shaking of fists, wetting of pants, cutting, cursing out loud, downvoting and other emotions. -

- Readers discretion is advised -

*Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are hanging out at the bar. Sitting next to them was Cpt. Crunch, Tucan Sam and Tony the Tiger*

Santa to the Easter Bunny: Damn man, those guys are taking the spot light from us. Soon enough these kids are going to think we're fake.

Easter Bunny: That's what you get for giving them coal for Christmas. Who wants to believe in a fat guy that magically fits through a chimney and leaves them coal.

Santa Claus: Yeah, well tell me how a Bunny can magically lay chocolate eggs. What the heck did you have sex with !? You know what, I don't even want to know.

Easter Bunny: You know what, forget it man. I'm gonna go hang out with the Toothfairy, at least she won't be giving me crap.

Cpt. Crunch to Tony: Eh Tony, those holiday guys are aruging again. They're just jealous we're more popular than them.

*In walks in Ronald Mc Donald. Everyone at the bar stops, turns to him, and secretly talks behind his back*

Santa to everyone: This guy is giving all of us a bad name. We need to take him out.

Easter Bunny: But Santa, what are we going to do?

Toothfairy: We'll get him mad drunk and wipe his make-up off, I wanna know who he really is.

Everyone: Deal

*everyone buys Ronald a shot, and after 4, he passes out on the bar stool. The gang start wiping the make-up off. When it was all done, they paused, and everyone's jaws dropped.

Everyone: Michael Jackson!?!?!?...

*Adam runs in through the door. Everyone stops and looks at him. After a few mintues of huffing and puffing, he calms down a bit*

Moses: Adam, what's wrong with you? Why did you come rushing in here?

*Adam still trying to catch his breath*

*Jesus walks over and pats him on the back*

Jesus: You are alright now.

Adam: Terrible news everyone! Eve left home today, she said she was fed-up with everything and just walked out on me.

Moses: Adam, what did you do!?..

Adam: I was telling her a story, but she stormed out. She asked how my day was, I said I was tired, and I had something to tell her. I went on to say, work was tiring, and I just wanted to get home and I was in a rush.

After that I paused, remembering a story, I said, Honey I have something to tell you. I smiled a bit. Then said, "I fingered a girl today." She looked at me and stormed out. I didn't even get a chance to explain myself!

Jesus: Adam! That's terrible, it's a sin to cheat on your wife, I am ashamed of you.

Adam: Wait! That's not the whole story, there's more to it!! "I fingered a girl today. She flipped me the finger, so I fingered her back!"

Moses: Yeah, I figured it was something like that.

Adam: Really? You believe me Moses?

Moses: I do! What girl would let you in 5 feet of them!?..

*Jesus saves,

He passes it down to Moses,
Moses on the wing to David
who sends it in to Noah,
Noah's on a break away!!!
He shoots!, Saved!..*

Moses: Jesus Christ!!! You gotta quit playing for both teams!!

Jesus: Ohh sorry, I keep forgetting.

*Moses runs in!*

OMG the Titanic just sunk and I lost all of my animals!*

Darien: What!?.. I thought Noah was incharge of the animals.. and what the heck are you doing on the Titanic!?

Moses: Uhh, Noah won a poker game, and won the Titanic. He's always off in Vegas.

Darien: Ohhh geez, he went back there again?.. and he didn't invite me!?..

Moses: Yeah, I know eh!.. Well I'm screwed! I just sank the Titanic and all the animals died, so Noah is gonna kill me!

Darien: Uhhh, yeah. I don't think God's gonna help, he got mad smashed last night, and he's still a bit hung over.

Moses: Oh man! Not again!.. Ok, uhh, you wanna help me gather up the animals and rebuild the Arc?

Darien: Heck no! I gotta get back to reality!

*background sound effects* dun dun dun!..

what the heck was that?!!?.. Is that you God?..

God: uhh, yeah I was bored, and had nothing better to do.

Darien: Don't you have like, people to save and stuff? or like prayers to be answered?

God: Yeah, but I get lazy. I send Santa Claus to do my dirty work.

Darien: That makes sense. It must get tiring being all powerful and stuff huh?

God: Yeah! but I get free internet!

*Noah, David, Moses and Adam were all sitting around the poker table, drinking and gambling. The games went on for a while, and they started drinking more and more. Eventually they got so drunk, that they fell on top of each other. They awake the next morning not remembering anything*

David: Owwww.. Geez, my head hurts.
Noah: What the heck happened?
Adam: What did we do last night??

*They look around, and they were all close to each other, sweat and booze reeked throughout the room. They noticed they were all very close to each other*

Moses: What the heck!.. why are you guys sleeping next to me? OMG! What did we do last night!?!?!
Adam: Guys I am never drinking again!..
Noah: Why!! ohh why!! I blame you God! You created taxes and hang overs!

*Out of no where God appears*

God: No, I just created everyone else with weak bladders!

Moses: God why would you let this happen?

God: Sorry guys, I was mad drunk last night and the Angel Gabriel was looking pretty fine.

Adam: Oh God, no wonder we had gay sex.

*Hitler and Stalin stand outside the base of Bush, Blair and Saddam. They argue over what is going on in the wars, and how they are sick of fighting each other in a box canyon. Hitler and Stalin leave frustrated, but calls in Chamberlin and tells him to negotiate.*

Blair: We won't give up with war, there are too many things at stake.

Chamberlin: Actually, I wanted to help you guys. I'm sick of Hitler and Stalin, they treat me like dirt!

Saddam: How do we know you're not gonna kill when we let you in. It could be a trap!

Chamberlin: They didn't even give me any guns or anything! It's like I'm in the Canadian army or something!

Blair to his comrades: I don't know if he's telling the truth, should be believe him.

Bush: No! They brain-washed him, and he going to take over our base. He's going to carry out all of their plans...... and even their schemes too!!!!

Blair: Bush, that's the most ridiculous idea I've heard.

Bush: Is it? or is it the most ridiculous thing, that it's so ridiculous that it may work, and you didn't even think of it.

Blair: No, just the regular kind of ridiculous.

Saddam: We'll know if he wants to kill us if he tried to get in.

Chamberlin: I want to join you guys!!

Bush: We're all gonna die!!!

*Saddam and Bush are sitting on a cliff with a sniper rifle, looking down at Hitler and Stalin.
They have been on recon for 5 days now, and the heat of the battle is getting to them*

*Meanwhile, Hitler and Stalin are having a conversation. They ususally stand at the top of their base talking about anything ranging from war to girls.*

Hitler: You know, I had a girl once. We were about to get married.

Stalin: Oh yea? What happened?

Hitler: Well I got shipped out here, and you know, it didn't end up working out.

Stalin: Are you gay?

Hitler: What?.. no, why would you ask!?

Stalin: I'm just curious. I never had a girl.

*off in the distance*

Bush: What are they doing?

Saddam: For the love of Allah! Stop asking me that! I told you, they're still at their base, and they're still standing around, and they're still talking. That's what they were doing 5 mintues ago when you asked me, and that's what they were doing 20 minutes ago. 5 minutes from now, that's what they'll still be doing!

Bush: Well you're the one with the effin sniper rifle! How am I suppose to see!?

Saddam: Bush! I told you, they aren't doing anything but talking!!! Now stop asking me what they are doing!!!

Bush: Oh, ok. Fine.....
So what do you think they're talking about.

Saddam: You know what? I hate you.

*Rudolph the red nose reindeer was home alone crying on his bed. He took his camera out, and started video taping a video journal*

Rudolph: You know what, just for once I would like to fit in. Everyone always excludes me, including my friends. I just want to be gay, so everyone could like me. All of my friends are, I wish I could be like that. It's probably because I can't fit into my sister's jeans. I want to be 2 size skinnier damnit!

I get all these other reindeer coming up to me and telling me I'm cute and all. I mean, I like foes, but I just don't know sometimes. Those other reindeer are willing to play with me when I tell them I'm gay and stuff. I don't know, I just want to fit in that's all. God! I wish I were gay!
I wanna fit into my sister's jeans and wear make up!

*Hitler, Stalin, Chamberlin, Bush, Saddam and Osama had all joined forces to defeat the evil Tony Blair. The war was going on for sometime, and eventually they had Blair surrounded. Before they could attack, the sound of a timer could be heard.*

Hitler: Holy shit Chamberlin I think you're ticking!
Saddam: Oh no! The bomb I planted on Chamberlin while we were fighting each other was activated.
Hitler: But who the hell would activate the button?
Bush: Ohhhh I love shiny buttons!! What does this one do? *pushes*

Blair: What the hell!? Someone activated my weather control device!?

Chamberlin: That's it, we're dead!

Osama: *pointing a gun at Chamberlin's head* Not unless you die first. Then we have a chance to survive!

*Voice in the background, 10 seconds to detination*

Chamberlin: Hey, misery needs company ok, you're all going to die with me.

Osama: Damnit, why do we always have to die with you!

*4,3,2,1*

*At the same time the bomb went off, the weather control device struck, and a hole in time was opened. Chamberlin had been split from the team and ended up in the past, the rest of the team was transported into the future, Blair had been transported to another location in the future.*

Cont...

Cont...

*Bush had just waken up and sees everyone standing around him*

Bush: What the hell happened? Who the hell are you!? *staring at Osama*

Saddam: Omg I think he has amnesia!!

Osama: No you fool, it's because I don't have my turban on.

Bush: Holy crap, Osama!? I thought you were bald!! Where are we?..

Hitler: We're in the future. The bomb in Chamberlin went off, and at the same time Blair's weather control device went off, and we got blasted into the future, and the present was destroyed.

Bush: Wtf? How can we be in the future? Aren't we in the present?

Stalin: No you retard, the present was destroyed, we're in the future!

Bush: But I thought the present was now, and the future is like, later on!!

Stalin: You idiot, how can we be living in the present if it got destroyed.

Bush: Don't you mean the past? Was THEN the past? Oh man, I am so confused!

Hitler: He must have hit his head harder than I thought!

Bush: What the hell? I hit my head!?

Osama: Yeah, Saddam thought he was dreaming so he punched you in the head.

Bush: What the!? Why would be punch me in the head!? Saddam you idiot! When you're dreaming you get someone else to pinch you, not punch them!

Saddam: Bush, I don't care what kind of dream I'm having, I'm not gonna ask you to pinch me.

Bush: I swear Saddam, if you dented my forehead I'm gonna kill you!

*Superman, Spiderman and Batman were hanging out at the mall one day. They entered HMV and decided to go browsing for CDs.*

Spiderman: Holy shit, my spider scents are tingling!

*he picks out a backstreet boys cd*

Batman: What the hell? Are your spider scents gay or something? Backstreet boys? Eww!.. No wonder you never pick up chicks.

Spiderman: It's not like you're doing any better, you have the Nsync cd hiding in your belt of weird kinky gizmos. Like what the hell is up with that belt man. You got like, whips and spikes and sharp thingys. Geez man, you have some weird fetish.

Superman: You guys are stupid, I don't even know why I hang out with you.

*approaches counter with a CD in hand*

Batman: OMG, and I thought Spiderman was gay!.. Why the hell are you buying that CD for!?..

Spiderman: Good Charlotte sucks, I hate them, I hate you, and I hate the bands you like!!

*Big Bird, Elmo, Oscar, Ernie and Bert were all hanging out at the park one day. Ernie and Bert were on the swings, while the rest watched from the picnic table.*

Elmo: You know what, I think those guys are gay.

Oscar: What?? what makes you think that Elmo?

Elmo: They are always together, they do everything together! They are worst than Mario and Luigi!

Big Bird: I've seen them bathing together.

Oscar: What the hell? You were watching them bathe together!? You sick perv!

Big Bird: No wait! I was walking by their place, and since I'm tall, I could see through the window, and I took a peak.

Elmo: Oh you disgust me Big Bird, you watched two guys shower together.

Big Bird: Well Elmo, I passed by your window last night and I saw the porno you were watching. Two men and a dog. Yeah, and you call me sick! Freak.

Oscar: *nervously* Uhh, did you see anybody else there last night?..

Big Bird: Uh, no why was someone else there?

Elmo: You retard, you gave it away. Now he knows.

*Osama, Hitler, Stalin and Saddam were hanging out in downtown LA.*

Hitler: Hey guys, check it out. I bought a new car.
It's a 1989 Chevette.

*Stalin falls down laughing*

Saddam: Don't hurt yourself buddy. *kicking Stalin* So why the hell did you get a shitty ass car in LA for?

Hitler: Because ever since I've moved here to LA, I've never seen a bus. Oh, they have bus stops, but the bus never comes. I always thought LA was full of homeless people, but it's just people waiting for the bus.

Saddam: Oh man, what were you thinking!? That salesman must have seen you coming from a mile away. You must have had a sign written on your over sized forhead saying 'sucker'.

Osama: That makes sense, but why the hell would you buy a Chevette! and look, it came with a hitch to tow stuff!! What the hell are you gonna tow Hitler? Another Chevette in case this one breaks down!!??

Hitler: Screw you guys, I'm going home. And you guys can't drive in my new car.

Saddam and Osama: What!? why not? Come on man, we were only kidding!

Stalin: I get to ride in it right? I mean, I didn't say anything!.. I call shotgun!!!

Hitler: Fine, you retards can ride in it.

Saddam: I call machine gun!!

Osama: Shit!.. fine, I'll settle with pistol.

*Elmo, Big Bird, Oscar and Grover were hanging out on the train one day. They were on their way to watch the stand up Comedian "Darien". They were all so very excited.*

Elmo: Ernie and Bert were suppose to be coming to the show too, but I think they have tickets up in the stands.

Big Bird: Yeah, we were lucky to get front row tickets! Woohoo!!

*ring ring*
Oscar: Sorry guys... OHHH it's Ernie and Bert, they are leaving now!..

Grover: That's a nice phone Oscar, what kind is it?

*Oscar feeling proud*
Oscar: It's the new Razor, it has a camera, cool ringtones and stuff like that.

Elmo: Aha, what kind of emo cell phone is that Oscar? Let me just take out my razor and cut myself. Gawd!

*they make it to the show, and are waiting in the front row. They try to look behind and see if they could spot Ernie and Bert.*

Elmo: Ok, Grover, you do the left side, I'll do the right.

Grover: Gotcha, but when you say 'do' you mean?..

Big Bird: OMG Grover you retard! I don't think it's possible for you to 'do' everyone in the crowd.

Grover: I could try.

*Tiger Woods, David Beckham, Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan were hanging out in the parking lot of the local mall. They were bored out of their minds and didn't really know what to do. *

Tiger: Guys! I'm really bored!!

Jordan: Yeah, me too! What are we gonna do!?

Gretzky: I really don't know, maybe we can play a game or something? I don't know, man I can't think straight.

Jordan: What game can we play? I think baseball is the only thing we aren't good at.

Beckham: Guys, come on, seriously. Baseball? That's not even a real sport.

Tiger: Yeah, I know. Baseball sucks!

Gretzky: It's just a rip-off of cricket. Only less boring to watch.

Jordan: Wanna play tag?
Beckham: Wanna grow up?
Tiger: Not really.
Beckham: Not it.
Jordan and Gretzky: Not it.

*In runs in Sammy Sosa, Tom Brady, Brian Lara and Paul Tracy* - Not it!

Tiger: Shit!, fine!.. *chases Paul*

Paul: Why are you chasing me, don't you know I'm an F1 racer.

Tiger: Yeah, well F U *tags Paul* you're it.

Paul: Damn! *chases Brady*

Brady: You can't catch me!..

*Paul tackles Brady* Sacked B*tch!..

Brady: Son of a!.. *chases Sosa*

*Tags him* You're out!!!

Sosa: OMG, I was so safe!! *chases and tags Jordan*

Jordan: Sorry guys, I'm done. I retire..

*The toothfairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were sitting down playing some cards and drinking.*

Santa: You know guys, it's pretty bad playing with 3 people, we really need an extra player.

Toothfairy: You think it's time to make up another bogus event?

Easter Bunny: You know guys, we could just invite the St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun.

Santa: Shut up Easter Bunny, you were the last one to join. The toothfairy and I got mad drunk off wine during Easter, and we made up a magical rabbit that lays choclate eggs. That's you.

Easter Bunny: Sorry, I just figured we could have invited him over. He seems liek a fun guy, drinking and stuff, and laughing funny. I like his accent.

Toothfairy: What the? Maybe next you want to invite the Loch Ness monster, huh? and then we can make up some weird Scottish holiday for it!

Easter Bunny: Can we really?..

Santa: No you moron! The Loch Ness monster is real, we're just imaginary characters!! Like Frosty the Snowman, Mickey Mouse and Jesus.

Easter Bunny: It's so weird how some people still believe in us, I mean, geez, when will they learn!?

Toothfairy: You know how annoying it is having to fly around giving old people money!?.. I mean Santa and I last Christmas took a visit to George Bush's house. Geez, I don't think that guy will ever grow up!!

Santa: I gave him a teddy this year. He kept writing me letters threatening to bomb the North Pole if I didn't give him a new teddy.

Toothfairy: Yeah, that's why I leave my address and phone number as unlisted!..

Easter Bunny: I fold.

Santa: Me too.

*Jesus, Noah, Moses and David were hanging out one day. They had decided to visit the mall and see what was new. The first store they entered was Wal-Mart*

Moses: Wow, this place is pretty big! Who could building such a place!?

Noah: Well, I had to build the arc remember? Well, that was big, but this placeis huge!! I could never build something this big.

Jesus: Yeah, I'm the son of God, and I couldn't build something this big, this is like, the biggest thing since, umm bread. Oh wait, I mean sliced bread!

Adam: I had a woman made from my rib, I think that's pretty big.

Everyone: Ohh right..

Jesus: Anyways, I wonder if I made something up, something so bizarre, so weird, but sounds so real, I wonder if they would have it?

Noah: Uhh, go for it Jesus! You the man!

*Jesus walks up to a Wal-Mart employee named Matt*

Jesus: Hey, uhh Matt. I have a question for you. Where is the umm, big wooden monkey that washes dishes and um, dries your hands!?

Matt: Pfft, buddy. What, do you think I'm stupid?Huh, you don't think I've been working here long enough? Well, for your information.. it's in Aisle 32! So ha! Thought you could have fooled me huh?

Jesus: Holy crap!!! Are they on sale!?!? I want one!!

*Superman, Spiderman and Batman were hanging out one day*

Superman: You know guys, I thought about moving back to Canada. Somewhere in the Praries. I didn't really like Ottawa too much.

Spiderman: Ohh yeah, I never liked it there. Why do you think the people are so corrupt!? It's because we don't go there anymore!!

Batman: The news in Ottawa is so different, it's like all about politics or people dying or killing someone.

Superman: Exactly! The news in the Praries would be something more like; "5 fishermen got lost in the woods, trying to look for Cod fish. They were missing for 3 days, and survived eatting their bait. When they were found, they were estatic. Look one of them is running to his wife! Oh wait, no nevermind, he was just bumming a smoke."

Batman: Yeah, I know. That's normal there. But anywhere in Canada is great. I love their free healthcare.

Spiderman: I love it too! It makes the medicine cheaper, and we all know how I need my medicine.

Superman: Oh man, that reminds me of that time, where you found the split personality medicine in your roommates medicine cabinet, but then you realized you lived alone!

Spiderman: Tell me about it. I hate that guy. He comes visit me every so often. I told him to leave me alone, and that he's crazy. He wouldn't listen though.

Superman: It's ok. I get that too. That guy Clark Kent comes to visit me. He tells me crazy stuff like, how he's me and shit. Man, like that's true. How can there be two of me? I wasn't ever cloned! Well, except that one time. But I accidently threw me off a balcony when we had that house party.

Batman: Ohh man, you were so smashed. I didn't even know which the real one of you was.

Superman: Well, the real one is me. Because I'm alive, and he's dead.

Spiderman: True say.

*Elvis, 2pac, Hitler and Osama were hanging out in the land of nothingness*

Hitler: You know, the only reason we're out here is because people think we're dead. We should just take the next bus back to New York.

Osama: I can't go to New York! They'll arrest me, and do dirty things to me!

2pac: I can't go back there! That's where I got shot. People will think I'm a ghost or something. Ohh shit! Let's go back dawg! I wanna play a prank on Snoop!

Elvis: Uhh, why do you want to go to New York Hitler? I don't think Americans like you.

Hitler: Well I can't go anywhere in the world! But in America, people will just think I'm some stupid drunk and will just throw me around and swear at me and tell me to go back where I came from.

Osama: Isn't that what they did in Germany!?

Hitler: Yeah, but I was really drunk!

2pac: haha! I hear you Hitler. You are the man. You were great at that party last night. You picked up 3 chicks and a tranvestite.

Hitler: Eww, it was a woman. I thought it was a man!

Osama: Hey! that was my daughter! Just because she has a lot of hair on her doesn't mean she's a man!

Elvis: I'll let you ladies argue. Elvis has left the building.

ENJOY!...

More will come along the way :)

I thought it was suppose to be Darien the Great's Conversatoin With Himself!

Even though it is now more then one conversatoin... And my spoony story will be entirely lost! Oh well, just means I get to post it again eventually... If anyone shows that they care in the slightest bit.

WHOO!!! darien you restarted the funny!! YAY!!!

Humpty Dumpty, Little Boy Blue and Little Miss Moffat were playing in the park one day. When Jack and Jill came in to play with them.

Jack & Jill: Howdy y'all

Everyone: Hey Jack.. hey Jill

Jack & Jill: Do you guys mind if we play with you?

Little Boy Blue: Sure, I guess. We were just building a castle in the sand.

Jack & Jill: That's great! I'm sure we can help!

Humpty Dumpty: Geez, do you guys have to say the exact same thing at the exact same time!? It's so annoying!

Jack & Jill: I'm really sorry, we can't help it. After we fell down that hill it's been like this.

Little Miss Moffat: You guys turned retarded?

Jack & Jill: No, we just so happen to be thinking the same thing at the same time, and when we speak, it's just happens to be the same thing at the same time.

Little Boy Blue: Oh, so you guys are retarded!

Humpty Dumpty: Haha, Blue you're my boy!!

Jack & Jill: At least we don't blow horns like you do Blue. Humpty, you're a effin egg, I'll have you for breakfast.

Little Miss Moffat: Burn dude, you guys both just got burn! By Jack and Jill!

Jack & Jill: We didn't say anything about you Moffat because you're way too easy. And what the hell is a Toffat?!

bump

lol

I read them and they are hilarious!!
Ciao xx

lmaof xD

x

OMG!.. this is so old! hahah I remember this!!!

oh i used to read your jokes hell of long ago. you are so frickin hilarious! i love you

Lol, thanks Jess!..

I shall add to this someday..

*Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy), Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance), Sonny Moore (From First to Last) and Bert McCracken (The Used) were hanging out after playing a local show. They decided to grab something to eat before they headed to the traditional after party.*

Pete: Guys, there's something wrong with me.

Sonny: Pete, there is nothing wrong with being gay, or dressing like a girl, or wearing tight clothes.

Gerard: Yeah, lots of straight men wear tight jeans and dress like girls. We like to call them gay... I mean homo.. I mean emo.

Bert: That's coming from a guy that wears more make up than my sister.

Gerard: Dude cut your hair.

Pete: You guys suck, I'm not gay. I just.. dress different. But that's not my problem! I have an addiction problem. And there is something else..

Sonny: Are you addicted to porn? or some sort of food? or is it like drugs or something bad for you?

Gerard: If it was porn, it would be gay porn. He doesn't eat! Look how skinny he is! The only drugs he's taking in estrogen! None of it is good for him!

Bert: Seriously Gerard, shut up. You're just as flaming as the rest of us.

Sonny: Stop arguing! Can't you see Pete has a problem! Tell us man, what's wrong?

Pete: I got kicked in the balls by Brandon Flowers (The Killers), and now my head is hurting.

Sonny: By head you mean your penis?

Gerard: No you retard he doesn't have one!

Bert: Brandon kicks like a girl.

Sonny: Why the hell does everything had to do with being a girl! Everyone knows you guys are girls!

Pete: Dude, you've got a pretty girly name.

*Sonny kicks Pete in the balls*

Sonny: Jackass

*Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff and Lindsey Lohan are hanging out at the mall one day. Everyone knows that they all hate each other, but they still pretend to be friends, so they can backstab each other later. Each of them has a plot to embarass everyone else, and it would be in the mall where everything would go down*

Paris: So ladies, where should we start our shopping spress?!

Lindsey: I think we should go to the food court, I'm starving!

Hilary: Uhh, Lindsey, can't you see most of us here are on diets! Hello! We can't eat anything!

Lindsey: No Hilary, you're the only one that needs to diet, with those fat thighs and all!

Jessica: Omg! Let's have some tuna! I heard it's like the chicken of the sea! But I still wonder why it can't fly.

Brittney: Duh Jessica! They fly underwater! But other people like to call it swimming.

Hilary: My name is a name of a fish...

Paris: Who cares about you Hilary! No one really likes you.

Hilary: Excuse me Paris. The only reason people sleep with you, is because it's a free stay at a hotel. It's too bad they have to wake up next to you.

*They all start to yell at each other... evertually they all started fighting. Brittney picks up a plate of food and starts throwing at at everyone. Lindsey starts to eat it as it comes her way. Hilary starts to eat it as well. Paris cries because her dog has food all over, but it starts to eat it. Jessica calls Brittney on her cell phone, calls her a skank and hangs up.*

Meanwhile..

Kelly Clarkson is hiding under a table recording all of this and thinks to herself... Man this was easy*

-= Ok.. so I've lost my touch .. hope it's still funny though.. =-