Ok here's the deal., a contest not for passive writers

My Mistake
Everything was going so right,
Nothing would keep us apart.
But it all ended in just one night,
One night that broke my heart.

I did something you couldn't take;
something that stopped it all,
something that made us stumble and fall.
I'll admit it, I'm sorry; It was my mistake.

Now I sit by myself, all alone,
in this dark and empty home.
Thinking about that we had,
over and over keeps making me sad.

It seems that nothing will be the same,
The sorrow and guilt are too tough to tame.
Someday I'll be strong and make it through,
For now I'll sit and think of what I did to you.

I did something you couldn't take;
something that stopped it all,
something that made us stumble and fall.
I'll admit it, I'm sorry; It was my mistake.

My eyes are now welling up with tears,
For I'll be living my with my worst fear.
Unable to talk, unable to hear your voice,
Although I know I have no choice.

It was too much for both of us to take;
It was something that ended it all,
something that made us stumble and fall.
I'll admit it, I'm sorry; It was my mistake.

sorry...wasn't paying attention. just woke up a bit ago.

Metal of Hunger

Metal of hunger embraced,
Shadowed residue behind,
Starved ecstasy's skeletal,
.....frame,
Unbuttoned mind decreed,
Stained midnight printed,
Ink within hollow breath,
....hushed,
Delicate bookmarked life,
Tattooed on freckled skin,
Slipping curtained sheets,
.....within,
Weaving spiderweb poison,
Through emaciated veins,
Handcuffed needle hands,
....search.

Forever?....Wake up.

lol..nvm

She watches as they slowly, lower the casket,
Wishing she had never told him to take that shortcut.
If it wasn't for her yelling, he'd still be alive,
As she goes back into her memory archive.

Back in high school, when they first met,
He asked her out, because it was a bet.
Then he realized, money didn't matter,
He didn't care who knew, for he loved her.

They were only freshman, yet madly in love,
They had maturity far up and above-
the rest. Then at 18, he popped the question,
"Will you marry me", and "yes" was her reaction.

Now she cries, after 5 years of marriage,
She wishes more than anything to give him one last message.
That's she sorry, and she loves him more than anything,
She will miss him, and don't worry, he'll always mean something.

The priest then states, "He died in a car,
As he, and his wife, drove to the local bar.
She said, take a shortcut, because it's getting late,
Because tonight was special, since their child, their first date.

A drunk from the bar, must've not seen them,
Because he hit the car, and the car went in flames in mayhem.
Luckily for us, the wife got away,
As we can see, he didn't, that's why were here today."

He says a little pray now, as all throw in roses,
As in his coffin, he eternally snoozes.
All the guest go home, except for his wife,
She says goodbye, he was the love of her life.

"Goodbye, my darling Husband, I've known you so long,
I'm sorry that this happened, I was so wrong.
I'll really miss you, I'll never forget about you,
Goodbye honey, I hope you still love me too."

~*W.C?*~

-WITHDRAWN-

I hope you don't have a problem with the word "we." If you do, let me know and I will withdraw.

Metal: Harmony, a Better World

An arena of lucidity
Bathed in what we humans like to call
Protection:
(Iron)
Is where we stand.

Gladiators of our time,
We fight for what is right
The beauty
The preservation of peace
and wonder

We draw our steel
And attack:
A flurry of alloy coupled with malice
Slams the enemy fast and hard

(Into the iron gate: justice)

Passion,
We fight for passion
And with instinct,
When we obtain Mother Passion
(Who has been lost from this world for years)

We put her in a gold plated case,
We've missed her
And just want her to be safe
To exist longer
Than just a few hours of sex

This is a battle
For all of humanity
Using the tools of our trade
We place every delicate item
In a metal womb

(And swing our swords)

So that these delicate items
Can be free for experience

Hope
Peace
Truth
Passion
Beauty
Trust
Love
Wonder

They've been lost for quite some time
Now they reside in a jeweled metal case
For all the world to
See
Feel
Hear
Touch
Taste

Our precious metals let the world live.

So live, world,
What are you waiting for?

Im fine
by ♪↑Musicians Finest♪↑

Broken and torn apart
feelings of something restless
keeping me up at night
leaving me breathless

ripped out my wings
that you flew beneath
every aching part grew
as i grinned my teeth

her heart pounded me
gave me a certain abuse
abducting my mind
to feel theres no use

such purity and Divine
something i found
in the heart of a liar
depression was bound

but now I'm back on my feet
my soul is brushed clean new
search through the mind
find no thoughts of you

I'm lifted back on my legs
every part of my body is dry
the tears have all disappeared
no longer a reason to cry

Inspiration in this dedication
I'm finally come to realize
not to believe everything
every pack has some lies

lessons slammed in my head
memorizing every quote and line
that i can live and go on
without you.....still I'm fine..

Can we make corrections or alterations to our poems?

lol.... im just going to delete my poem now.. *runs away embarrassed*

Just the Same

It was a normal day in Kindergarten
As we played in the beating sun
Being with my brand new friend
I had never had so much fun

We raised our hands for roll call
As the teacher yelled each name
I could tell his skin was darker
But our palms were just the same

Elementary School had begun
The tasks became more tough
But he always stood beside me
When things were getting rough

We walked the halls together
Not feeling and ounce of shame
I could tell his skin was darker
But our palms were just the same

Next it was time for Junior High
Where people started to change
Yet he never left my side when
All the others were acting strange

On stage in play I saw him clapping
As my first song met with acclaim
I could tell his skin was darker
But our palms were just the same

We had made it to High School
I was scared of everything inside
But I felt safe walking with him
As our feet were in perfect stride

He led me onto the dance floor
The night of the first home game
I could tell his skin was darker
But our palms were just the same

Graduation had finally arrived
After waiting out four long years
As we put on our cap and gown
My eyes welled up with tears

Walking towards the stage together
I heard cheers from the audience
And looking up at my best friend
I could see not one difference

Okay... so, I feel like I used the word "I" alot and you will probably just rip this poem apart, but I'm okay with that. It's one of my favorite poems I've written and I've entered in a few other contests, but I just wanted an honest opinion about it.

Johnny J Smith
had straight A's in school.
Class president every year
he never broke the rules.

Had the coolest friends
never got in fights.
But his friends never saw him
after school at night.

Every problem thrown his way
he fought it to the end.
His family and friends
nicknamed him superman.

Saving damsels in distress
standing up for the weak.
He had the intelligence of a genius
the room always quite when he'd speak.

But nobody knew what happened
late every single night.
When Johnny was caught in the middle
of his mother and father's fight.

Every day after school
Johnny would walk home alone.
Come home to his parents,
to a family with a heart of stone.

Objects were thrown
as they'd fly across his face.
He tried so hard to please
but he was seen as a disgrace.

His grades would start to slip
and he would fight even more.
But the more that he fought
the harder he was thrown to the floor.

Friends began to leave him
people ignored him as he spoke
as hard as he tried to fix it all
his life was only seen as a joke.

Bottles and knives still flying
from one room to the next.
Giving up on everything else
he took advantage of one object.

He slowly cried as the pain took hold
remembering the life once adored.
Brought down to this sham
a life now ignored.

With his last remaining minute
he reached for a paper and pen.
Leaving a note for whoever cared
or cared for a life that once had been.

Days had past since then
before he was found
his parents killed each other
the house no longer made a sound.

Old friends came again
to see the horrible site
No soon after did they find the note
that the young boy did write.

Everyone held their breath
as the note was slowly read.
Written with four crimson words
"Your Superman is Dead."

(C) 2006 Bryce Dressler

((Sorry I probably could have chosen a better poem but I dont have the time right now so hopefulyl this is good enough.))

^^Bryce- Amazing..lol. i love your poems

Murder.

When you go to work each day
Do you listen for the cries?
Do you hear the silent screams they make,
Everytime they die?

When you kill those innocent children,
Do you consider their holy souls?
Do you wonder what they could've done,
If they had a chance to accomplish their goals?

You say they're only flesh,
Only muscle skin and bone.
But they could have been someone
If they had the chance to grow.

Remember that little one you killed today?
He could've been the new pope.
He could've changed the way the world works.
But thats something we'll never know.

That little boy could have found the cure,
To cancer, AIDS or more.
He could have saved a million lives,
He could have ended all Wars.

When you stop their hearts from beating
Do you think of what you've done?
Its just as though you've shot a child,
With a legal machine gun.

Before you kill those innocent kids.
Think of how you're such a fool
The government's tricked you into thinking
That this murder isn't cruel....

*edit-
(covers mouth)

humdedum
(shuts up)

yes there is many 'the's and alot of 'they's & 'you's but i don't know how to fix it up.

Ps- no 'I's at all. =]

xLaurenx

mine has a title and actually thats pretti good since im only a soph startin in sept.! well thnx for the honesty.

YEah WC your poems are great same with yours Lauren. Im gonna be a sohpmore this year! lol still 14 but turning 15 in 18 days!

Hmm....I'll see what I can do....

I hope I've understood the rules right..

-------------------------------------------------------

No Evidence

Weak violated shattered heart,
Ripped into shreds; pulled apart.
Evil demon who creeps at night,
Stole innocence without a fight.

Bruises, cuts, scars or burns?
No evidence to prove the wrong.
Shortened air; unable to breathe,
Too much force; she isn't strong.

Strange voices echo in her mind,
Reminding of what's left behind.
Weak violated shattered heart,
Ripped into shreds; pulled apart.

Broken, torn, completely alone,
No evidence to prove the wrong.
Physical abuse at it's very best,
But puzzle pieces don't belong.

Evil demon who creeps at night,
Stole innocence without a fight.
Proud he was; so unbelievable,
Mind and soul is now unreachable.

No evidence to prove the wrong,
While simple words can be spoken,
Forceful actions is what's strong.

July 27th 2006
Copyright © Natalie

Thank you for advice on that line. I think it would sound much better.

Thanks for the suggestions, and the honesty. I'll try working on it some more. =)

**********Reply************
yea, i did mean accomplish, and it's not that i mean i cant type b/c i only have one hand-but i got attacked by a dog, and it actually hurts when i type-either hand-although i cant use the one.. so im sorry, but i really cant tpye the whole poem thats .. 2 pages long.. sorry, im literally typing wiht my pinky on my one hand and ring finger on the other..i just cant not come on here-i love this site..

also i really love that poem i wrote, and i editted it before i entered so thats where the accomplish thing came from,

and i know about the age thing, i feel stupid for saying it. i've read poems from writers 30 years old who didn't do as good as some 16 year olds i know.

Thanks for your help!

xLaurenx

Heaven blazes our eyes,
We stand still in sacrifice,
Autumn sings her lullaby,
We take it in as Heaven cries.

The sun sings a mournful tune,
He shines over butterfly tombs.
Darkness arises with the coming moon,
He's the reason for the sun's failing doom.

The stars gather around in wonderous surprise,
They watch aghast as the sun quickly hides,
Watching closely as the moon comes to defy,
Witnessing silently as the burning sun dies.

xDarkSuicidex

Death, A Majestic Beauty

There is a place in the world,
Just for her, reserved for eternity,
An unknown wonder of life itself,
She sits atop a throne of power,
Watching over all about her,

Her clear blue, piercing eyes,
Flowing hair as white as forever,
Pale face; with no emotion to be shown,
Red lips of cherished blood taken,

A majestic beauty,
Holds her place,
In this world,
Her presence known all too well,

She takes the lives,
Of whom she wishes,
Choosing their death,
With no remorse in what heart she has,

A body of perfection,
A soul of sinister thoughts,
She sits atop a throne of power,
Controls Life of all that live,
She`s a majestic beauty,
Of an unseen place,
She is, Death.

ohh this sounds like fun! just one question bob, does it matter how old the poem is or not? Do you want everyone to have a fresh new poem written just for this contest? I might as well as check.

Ohh ya and to the person who said that they were taking their poem out of the running and that they were embarrassed, don’t be. Just be happy you entered something like this, you knew that bob was going to be honest he said so in the post. Just learn from what he said and try to improve your poetry. Heck I read all his critiques that he has given just to see if I could learn for what other’s done wrong. You just have to take chances like these to really improve yourself.

~Jacklyn

Is This My First Love?

By Tormented

Sun is dawning
Moon is burning,
Sky is melting
My heart is beating faster
My breaths are slow
I am standing still
But floor beneath me is moving
Is this my first love?

This moment is beautiful
everything is changing,
Dreams are becoming reality
Hope that the season of love stays

sea is thirsty,
Night is waking up.
Even in the heart of flames,
Fire is lightning
My dear, is this my first love?

Teardrops...

That teardrop,
so beautiful but bitter,
it can be full of pain,
or so sweet it glitters.
When a tear falls,
it streams down your face,
and ends at your smile,
travelling with grace.
Harboring pain,
exposing your fears,
many a secret
are found in tears.
A container of truth
and filled with emotion,
shows your love,
and your devotion.
Tears of happiness
and laughter and glee,
but also anger,
and stress and worry.
Its a wonder,
how a tear so small,
can hold so much
and still enthrall.

There wasnt a single WHY in my poem but thanks for the critique :)

Just because you're tormented, does that mean I have to be to?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

If it's okay, I'm withdrawing my original poem and replacing it with another...

In the Darkness, Sparkles

Blow out thy candle, pray, sit by me,
lend me thine eyes to observe the night
by the light of the moon which shines upon thee.
Look! How the stars are twinkling bright
and the night, in the darkness, sparkles.

I beckon to thee, child, rest at my side,
hush now and taketh a moment to glance
at the dance of the shadows, so handsome with pride.
Hark! At the song of the raindrops trance
whose glance, in the darkness, sparkles.

Witness the beauty, and peace afore us;
a black silk blanket covers the sun in a sleep
so deep. The glittering clouds sprinkle their dust
on the crystalline curtain from whence we creep
To peep, as the darkness sparkles

hey are we allowed to do more than one?

Doubt it. Would't just one be easier.

A Whiter Shade of Pale

Looking upon the pale horizon
where my fingertips once rested
beautiful curves, yet so innocent
with a soft and smooth surface

My soul which was once restless
learned of peace within passion
Striped of masks and all clothing
blankets of body heat from another

My midnight hands danced upon her
As two tongues collided, becoming one
no disturbances, only natures music
two bodies tangled desiring more

Her pale hands find comfort upon me
A new day breaks across the horizon
a sun shines on her pale beauty
My restless soul has found its peace

~Jacklyn

Child of the Night

All the angels ignore my howling plead,
Sending death's kiss in a pink rose bouquet.
Grave dug on hells turf, ready to proceed,
At the sun set on my very last day.
My blood squeezed from my eyes, tears to concede,
As this hunger inside me fades away.
Left in a wooden cage to suffocate,
Death consumes me as I disintegrate.

They used to call me the ‘child of the night’
Forever bathed in misery’s presence.
Not a human but a demon of plight
A beast feeding on world pain in essence
My tongue took the melancholy of light.
And the innocence in me now lessens,
Burning prey with smoke from my father’s hand
I’m the devil’s daughter, the child of man...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ottava Rima is a poem where the stanzas consist of eight
lines each. Each line has a ten -or- eleven syllable count.
The rhyming scheme for Ottava Rima is as follows:
abababcc

i see what you mean about 'glance', i never noticed it before but i think ur right, it doesn't really fit...hmm...

how is this, im not sure if its better or not :s

In the Darkness, Sparkles

Blow out thy candle, pray, sit by me,
lend me thine eyes to observe this sight
by the light of the moon which shines upon thee.
Look! How the stars are twinkling bright
and the night, in the darkness, sparkles.

I beckon to thee, child, rest at my side,
hush now and taketh a moment to glance
at the dance of the shadows, so handsome with pride.
Hark! At the song of the raindrops trance
whose prance, in the darkness, sparkles.

Witness the beauty, and peace afore us;
a black silk blanket covers the sun in a sleep
so deep. The glittering clouds sprinkle their dust
on the crystalline curtain from whence we creep
To peep, as the darkness sparkles

-biscuit-

^and, and, and, and, and, and, I'm crying a river of tears here......

A container of truth
and filled with emotion,
shows your love,
^here's a subtle hint

A container of truth
filled with emotion,
defining love,

I see what you are saying...
Ill get onto changing them now...

Anything else with it?

That teardrop,
so beautiful but bitter,
it can be full of pain,
or so sweet it glitters.
When a tear falls,
it streams down your face,
and ends at your smile,
travelling with grace.
Harboring pain,
exposing your fears,
many a secret
are found in tears.
A container of truth
filled with emotion,
defining love,
and your devotion.
Tears of happiness
laughter and glee,
but also anger,
stress and worry.
Its a wonder,
how a tear so small,
can hold so much
but still enthrall.

Hows that now??

ohh ok bob no problem i just wanted to see if you had any suggestions of making it better. but i'll post a new one.

~Jacklyn

Graceful Struggles

She falls…
Leaving all grace,
while venting angers
sorting troubles
craving forgiveness

She falls…
Opening wounds
all emotional
a simple way to deal
to skate them away

She falls…
On the hard ice
drenched with sweat
refusing to give in
proving resistance

She falls…
More vulnerable than before
pain builds up slow
skating for hours more
Realizing she's not as strong

She gets up…
Learning to forgive
to heal and move on
Learning she's not alone
Skating with grace again

~Jacklyn

"Their Love"

She grasps at these so not very foreign ideas.
Realizing know that they have always known, what
Goes on behind these closed eyes and doors.
Keeping this secret, they somehow look past it!

How do they sleep with themselves,
Knowing but never stopping, knowing but
Never talking, knowing but never really
Caring what happens to their only child?!

A slice here, a dice there, a cut deep enough
To let it all, everything at once, flow out!
Out of her skin so swiftly, that she falls into
A dark circle, if only for a minute, it relives it!

Relives the pain, this sliver rusted blade now
Her only true confidante, the one she can
Share with her thoughts, emotions, ideas,
And never once does her friend criticizes her.

Nobody really understanding what goes on
Behind these white solid oak doors.
Nobody ever really cared about it either!

So infatuated with everything else but
This lost blonde-haired, so confused and lost
Not so very innocent young lady, who spent her
Youth and innocence oh so very quickly!

She used it to her advantage, always
Searching for love and a fix, never in
The right places, maybe she did not want it to be.
Guessing that one more time would not hurt!

Every drug imaginable, she has done them, every
Drink yea she has tried it, every guy in this small
Town she has probably done too! But yet they still
Do not notice that their love is causing her end!

~Flying High~

bump contest