why does it hurt?? When will it stop??

I don't know whats wrong with me!! I was reading a topic I posted on here a few weeks ago entitled I'm gonna kill myself...so many people told me not to do it, even that little boy Zanthonie, the one who passed away not too long ago he was only eight years old and he passed away! (may he rest in peace) I wish I could appreciate life. It's not that I don't, I just hurt. Reading everyones posts to me telling me it's not worth it, that hurts too! Knowing that people do listen and yet, it just hurts more. Literally, I swear I can feel this pain inside and it hurts and I have tears coming down my face right now I won't lie. Everything makes me hurt..why does it hurt? When will it stop? I have felt this way for 2 years. I can't handle it. I can't, I'm gonna drive myself crazy I swear. What am I supposed to do? Just keep forcing smiles?........

Arrrr :) I TOTALLY agree with Duane and Lucifer :) *smack self* why didn't I think of that earlier :D helping other really DO make you feel happier, it takes focus off your own pain, and you share the joy form others that you have just created :)

As for how to go about and help others.... now that's a hard part... I have quite a few times volunteered myself in kids programs (looking after kids... lots of them) and it was great fun :) tiring but fun and you feel better about yourself from doing that... oh the kids are so cute :)

No one really knows when the pain will stop. I"ve been going through this so called "phase" for almost a year now and the pain hasn't stop. What i've learned to do is lean into my emotions so i don't let them take over me. if you feel like you're forcing a smile stop. forcing yourself to do something is not a good idea. the best thing for me was finding someone i could talk to but know that they weren't going to tell everyone about it. please don't kill yourself.