To cry everyday

I consistently convince myself there are good things about myself, because I'm dead set on having a good self-image.

Sounds like me in 7th grade, I seriously hated my friends at that point because I always felt judged by them, like no matter what I said it'd be wrong and stupid. Really they were friggin' ditzs' (plural) and I'm better without them bringing me down. I still have my brother's constant insults. He'll sit there for ten minutes straight and insult me, "retard, idiot, loser, but head" and taunt me by saying I can't do anything about it, and he’s pretty much right because if I did he’d tattle on me. I know he has his own issues with his self-image, but it's really cruel of him to take that out on me.

Feeling like no one likes you and everyone judges you is really horrible, it’ll make you sad even if you can’t pin point that as the reason.

What you need to realize is that these people really don’t matter. In a few years you’ll be away from them, chances are they won’t see you until some sort of school reunion, and even then you’d get to decide if you wanted to go. Yes they do affect your life right now, but only as much as you let them. I know it’s hard to ignore things others say, but if I listened to every word that came out of my brother’s mouth I’d probably be an anorexic, self-pitying (okay so I already have that a little, but it’d be more serous), slow person with an inferiority complex, and more jumpy then I am now.

Not everything you hear is true, especially when said by some one who’s biaust(sp) in a negative way. Do these people really have nothing better to do then attack you? That’s really pathetic.

Can you post some positives about your self? Perhaps you really like your drawing skills, or that you’re a good listener and would make a great caring friend… Good people can be scarce at times, don’t let yourself turn bad because sooner or later some one might need a good person, and might want to turn to you.

I'm sorry to hear that. Everyone goes through these phases in life. The world isn't particularlly nice or fair, but we all have to learn how to stay strong nonetheless, and you need to gain your confidence in yourself. I've learned that friends aren't anything, especially when they can't accept who you really are. I am sure you are a great person and everyone is special in their own ways. You need to learn how to ignore the rude comments and everything else and focus on more important things, like family and school. When you put the right ideas into your head, you will be fine. Don't let things get to you. Be a stronger, better person and soon you will find the good in this world is there...but it is just hidden.

It used to happen to me a lot... I lost a lot of friends (to death) and a few just to society, and everyday there is someone new to try to impress, someone that is thiner than you, smarter. They can just look at you wrong and it's as though they have called you fat, or below them...
But, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are, and no amount of crying or believing otherwise will change that fact.

//T.L.//

Awww, i'm sorry to here that. I know whats that like been through it all. In elementary school people called me fat and shortie, my friends did that! :O I remember coming home and crying to my mom that the kids were doing that but what can she do so I had to live with it until highshool but I did find a group of friends to hang around with and that helped a bit the only thing is yet again I was an outcast. As soon as I got into highschool though Imade friends and you don't have that problem or at least it's scarce. For me I have a brother too who says horrible things to me and it's even worse because now I agree and make jokes about myself and they arn't good at all for my self-esteem.

Hahah, if people make jokes at me, at least I try not to repeat them. Usually just raising an eyebrown and saying something like "you yourself should really look in the mirror" works a bit...

//T.L.//

A lot of my friends are constantly telling me not to wear black, or to be nicer, or to smile. I got so sick of it for the longest time, but then one the bus I finally met someone who I can vent on about anything without holding back and she will not judge me for it. I've known her for half a year and we have become closer than my friend of 5 years. It's crazy, we think alike, we're both outcasts, we have both been through some of the same horrible experiences. I have told her everything and she has not judged me, not once. She also introduced me to some other great people who don't judge me. But it's unfair because she is a grade ahead of me and our schools are divided to where I won't get to see her daily for 2 years. So once again I'm alone with no one that I am truly and completely comfortable around no matter what. I might have to unleash some good comebacks this year when those jackasses start shouting "JESUS LOVES YOU" again...but the thing they don't know, and won't know, is that I'm a Christian! HA! That small fact is going to remain my own private triumph...I've learned to get over all of the stuff people say. Most of them say it because they aren't comfortable with themselves, so they want to try to find or invent your imperfections before people notice theirs. Over the past two years I've become completely comfortable with who I am. I love my personality and the way I think. It's truly comforting to have that kind of confedince...Just wanted to let you know that I've been there and done that...but now I'm over it because it's all in the past....here's my personal saying: The past may haunt you, but it cannot define you. I live by it, and it makes everything a little less intense. I hate it when people have gone through the same things I have, but there is nothing I can do about it except leave my advice and hope for the best.

>>>Lost†In†Eternity