Father in the shadows. =[

Ok. I really am in need of some advice. It is about my Dad. He has never really been a part of my life when I was little. But when I was around 8 my mom called him and I talked to him for the first time. And then I have went and seen him for the summers of '01 '02' and '03
But my dad has a drinking problem. He was once very violent with his girlfriend the day before I left in the summer of '03. He really scared me. But that isn't the reason I need advice though. Well anyways, my dad doesn't want anything to do with me. He forgot my birthday last year. I tried to call him and call him just to talk and he finally answered me and told me that he has been ignoring my calls and does not want to talk to me. That hurts really bad. When he told me that, I felt like....nothing. He made me feel worthless. I keep telling myself that I do not need him, but the truth is, I do! I need my dad here. Its like he loves me when I am *there* but he doesn't when I am not. ( I live in Ohio and he lives in Oklahoma. ) what should I do? I really need some advice and nobody will give me any.

=[

>black&&blue

i think... you should tell your mom and hold up a family conference. ^_^ just a suggestion..

My mom has tried to help me through this. It hasn't worked. She has been trying to help me ever since it started bothering me. A family conference? He lives hundreds of miles away and won't even answer his phone. He hates me. And it really hurts. I can't make him love me and I know that. I just wish I could. =[

the only person who should feel worthless is your father.. and he probably doesn't know how to love you, because the only person he has ever loved is himself.. well i know that probably doesn't help but that's my opinion, i hope he sees sense oneday and becomes the dad you need and deserve in ya life x

Thanks Donna. It sort of helped...

Thanks Kora. I will take your advice and try that. Thanks for posting to this everyone. It means a lot that there are actaully people who are willing to listen to me.

>black&&blue

aww, i know in the world we live in it's hard to believe.. but there really are people out there that still care and want to help if poss ;)

thnx ;)

No one else has any other advice? Wow! =]

IT is very sad when fathers do that. I met my dad when I was 16 and went live with him when I was 19. We never really got along great but I did respect him. He showed up two months after my daughter was born. That was a real heart break. Sometimes you need to let it go. The point is that you can't change people, even though he is your dad and has responsibilies. Some dad's just dont' think they have any!

talk to your mom bout this see what she thinks bout this....

hey babe i just met my sperm donor, i dont think he even deserves the title dad, this year and im 15. he wrote me a nasty leter cuz i didnt call on fathers day cuz i was with family. the way i think about it, do you have a step dad, grandpa, uncle, any male role model? i have a step dad and if my donor wants to be a jerk, let him, you might just be better off without him!

you dont need him.. your probably better off without him.. i ran away last year for a month and i lived on the streets because i wanted something more from life.. but honestly look at what you have.. if you cut the bad things out like your dad not being there.. i bet you see a whole new angle on the picture that is right in front of you..

Thanks everyone. I will try to take the advice you all gave me. =]

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