I never thought it would be like this...

About a year ago I started talking to someone online (via Yahoo! IM/Myspace). We met through a cousin who is on the football team with me (yes, I know, go ahead and do the whole 'a girl on the football team?!' thing and get it out of your system). He goes to our rival school, which is about 12 minutes away from my house, and also the town I work in.

We started IMing almost every day, all through football season, and got to be pretty good friends. He was everything I thought I could ever want. Sarcastic, witty, funny, good with words, etc. He was always so interested in what I had to say and actually seemed to care about me. And to make it all seem that much more amazing, he was GORGEOUS. Absolutely breathtaking, you have no idea.

So anyway, when our basketball teams played against each other he arranged to meet me at half-time. Perfect, right?

Well, as it turns out he did try to look for me, and I for him, but we got separated and never found each other.

His team won by two heartbreaking points. He'd said something about stopping by my house after the game, but never showed up. He called the night after and swore up and down that he truly meant to meet up with me after the game but could never find me, and he thought that I was mad at him for not showing up, and talked and talked and talked 'til two in the morning, when I finally forgave him.

A week later he called and said he wanted to meet me at the mall. We both had a friend come along, but when we met him he said NOTHING to me. His friend hit on me and asked me out, but he said nothing. There was a rumor going around at the time that this guy (my friend from IM) had a crush on me, and I think he must have been nervous, but still...

We didn't speak for a week, until he called me and confessed he'd started drinking at parties. A lot.

The next day I was at a party on a Saturday night (no drinking, drugs or anything, just a party) and he called mme and wanted me to come to a college party with him. When I said no, he kept asking until he got so mad he hung up. About two hours later, almost midnight, his friend from the mall called me and said that my other friend "needed" me really bad. Later, from another person at the party, I heard that he'd been drunk and claimed he was "in love" with me, and needed me, and wanted me to be the one to hold his head out of the toilet while he puked up booze.

The next week he called me, almost in tears, after he'd gotten home really early from a party (9pm), only half-way drunk. He said that what he'd claimed to do at the party the weekend before was true and that he needed me to help him. I talked with him until four in the morning.

At church the next day my pastor noticed before the service that I looked really bad and he could tell I'd been crying. I spilled the entire story to him after service and he said that I should just cut this boy off since I couldn't help him any more. I had no need to. From March until yesterday we didn't talk. He never got online. He never called.

Then he called. And text messaged me. I almost ignored him, but then I returned his call. He thought I was mad at him, and I thought he'd gotten mad at me. He called two more times that day, but hasn't called since.

A few months ago I really liked him. Now I've started talking to someone else -- but I still may have feelings for this boy. I don't know what to do.

My god what a story. Sounds like you've really had it tough and I really understand - I've been there. But honestly now you have to put this guy out of your mind. If he wasn't brave enough to tell you he liked you before, without drinking, he isn't worth it. He has a problem and he has to understand this. If he really liked you he wouldn't be drinking. And if you've managed to find someone else I think you should really try with him instead because it's so much better for you without worrying about this guy getting drunk all the time....

Just my thoughts, I'm sorry if I've said anything harsh...

Hope it gets better

xxx

It seems you've done all you could to try and help this guy.. and if he continues drinking and all, then he's not worth your time. As hard as it may seem, move on... Find someone worthy of your time and care.

~BJ~

o wow. my friend drinks (alot) and ive been tryin to help him out. i say you shouldnt cut him out of your life if he has feelings for you because it will make him worse. help him out if you can and if not tell him how you feel. my friend drinks because of depression and i dont know about yours but i told him i didnt know how to help him but id be here if he needed to talk. hope that helps!

Thanks you guys. This all really means a lot. I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm going to do now.

Once again, thanks.

[Tragic]

well what are you going/planning to do?

I'm just going to talk to him--just talk everything out.

And I'm going to make it known that if he's still drinking, we're strictly just friends. I can't just ditch this guy I've just started talking to and drop everything I had going just so this other guy can screw it up again.

Last time I just left him, though, when he "needed" me it only got worse. I'm not going to throw my life away to save his, but I'm going to try and help him when I can. After that, I'll let fate take its course.

[Tragic]