he drowned,i dont kno what to do

a kid at my school drowned yesterday.he was only 17,gonna be a senior.he was one of those people everyone loved and he was just such a great guy.i never really got to close to him or anything.but my brother was pretty close w/him.now my brother and his friends are so depressed.the kid that was w/jake when he died wont even come out of his house.everyone misses jake so much already.i cant even believe it,when my mom told me last night i just started crying so hard.i work at a grocery store w/a bunch of teens.people literally had to leave the building cuz he was crying so much.
i just dont understand how this couldve happened.jake was such a great guy.no one knows what to say or do.his funeral is going to be soo hard.his story made the news and everything.and for a town of less than 2000 people,it was huge.school is going to be so rough around here this next year.
i dont know what to say to my brother.we talk about everything and now i just dont have the words.how do you explain something like this?it wasnt jakes time to go,he was way to young.i just cant understand.this life is such a wreck.i'm starting to think its just not worth it.
jake shouldnt have gone.i'm so confused.someone w/some good advice please help.i just cant go on w/this anymore.

yeah,thanks for the help.its just so hard ya kno.he was so young,he just didnt deserve it.only the good die young.but why did it have to be him,things just wont be the same w/o his face in the crowd.he is so greatly missed.i just cant seem to stop crying and thinking about it.
life is to hard right now.i just feel like giving up.but i have to go on.cuz jake doesnt need us to give up on him.he would want us to be strong.but its so hard,its so hard.
just the thought of him not being able to swim up,just struggling under the water.his friends thinking he was joking.their faces when he didnt come back up.god,why did he go now?17 years old.he had so much more to live.so much more.that he will never get.never.i cant seem to stop the tears...

Sry about the loss :hugs:

idk when Jason died, a bunch of us got together and made a memorial for him, and we hung it in our school. It was a fare size drawing of him done by some seniors in art class, and along the outside there was signatures of almost the entire school. It helped alot of kids with everything and made people realize how delicate life is. idk maybe your school or town will let a group of friends do something like that in his memory. it seemed to help alot of people and brought people here closer together

and as for your brother, i agree with BehindTheseBrownEyes, just give him space, but let him know you are still there for him no matter what.

~Terra

Someone in the year above me was murdered in my small town centre last year. It was hard for a few months, but it has gotten easier. Nobody has forgotton him, but things are easier.

Wow something like that happened to me too with this guy Noah. He jumped out of a moving car and cracked his head on the sidewalk. Some people started talking and they said that it was a suicide. But see, the death happened around where I lived and I saw it all and it looked nothing like a suicide. I felt really bad about his loss and I thought he was like the nicest person ever. Then I found out that he was one of my friends brothers tormenters and that Noah was on his hit list for school. it was all very weird.

thanks so much for the advice and help guys.it really does mean alot.w/jake gone life will never be the same.like a part will always be missing that can never be filled by anyone else.
i think we are going to make a memorial for our school.pretty sure they'll let us,if not we will anyways.anything for jake.his funeral is going to be one of the biggest.almost half the school has cried and will attend his funeral.
i guess what i dont understand is how someone can be there one minute and be gone the next.jake wasnt the smartest kid,he wasnt the most well behaved,his family was far from perfect.but there was just something about him that people loved.the way he was,just at life,is something that a person can never forget.
a part of me wonders,and i know this sounds so cruel and hurtful,but why couldnt someone no one liked have gone.why did it have to be the kid who everyone loved?the funny,easy going kid?why couldnt it have been someone else?why?why?why?
maybe this is all part of some hard lesson that i just dont want to except...

Yeah we made a memorial for the guy at our school too. It's still there i think, made by his closest friends.

ohkay this may sound mean, but i dont mean to, because our town knows how it is to loose the person everyone loves.

people look up to Jake, specialy the younger ones that are going through a hard time in life, they don't think "why can't my life be more like his" but think more happy thoughts that seem to help them get through really rough patches in thier life. They see him smile, and think maybe one day i will be happy like him, and things like that.

but then, as with many people like Jake, something happens and he no longer can be in this world with us. people will seem lost at first, and not really want to talk to anyone about anything, but then people come closer together. worst enemies become friends, old boyfriends/girlfriends are talking once again, everyone helps everyone get through this tough time.

if some one not liked by many died, then everyone would go on living the same and not really notice what could happen in a matter of seconds.

agian,thank you sooo much for the support.its been a really rough time.things are already starting to get better.i havent cried all day and our town had a festival going on today.so i went to that for awhile.not alot of teens were out,cant really blame them.its hard to face the world right now.
i cant even imagine how bad the funeral is going to be....
yea,i guess your right,if someone not very well liked died then we wouldnt really be effected.but since it was jake,it has changed so many people lives.we are all starting to think,that couldve been us.that couldve been me.so many people go to the quarry were he drowned.[a quarry is an old rock drilling location thats filled w/water]it couldve been any of us.i guess we will never know why it had to be jake.
if anyone has any ideas for memorials or things on how to cope i would really appreciate them.this is a much harder thing for other than for me.i'd really like to help those people out as much as i can.

The title of your post caught my eye, because several years ago something similar happened to me...

I got back home one day to call my kitten out to play, and couldn't find her. A little feeling nagged at the back of my head, as though, even before they told me, I knew.
She was dead.

I could barely cry, it felt so horrible, to simply know, in your heart, that your friend had died.

The worst of it was that my mum has seen her alone in a site where other cats hang around, and had brough her home.
I always feel that if my mum hadn't brought her back, she wouldn't have died.

Her name was Teddy, because she looked like a fluffy little bear. God, I haven't though about her for so long, it's like trying to pick at a scab, but it feels good to remember...
I am still trying to establish that it wasn't my fault.

Only later did my family begin to admit to me that she had drowned in an open toilet bowl, falling in, struggling and seemingly being unable to get out, and dying.

Cats are precious to me, like humans, and I can relate to you in that the pain I felt in losing my cats was very severe. My only advice is that you must remember him well, as he would want to be remembered. Don't shut out the memories just because you think that will keep the pain at bay. Five years from now, you'll break down and cry about something that happened so long ago..

So that's all I can say... let it all out now, while you still can.

If you read this, thank you.

//T.L.//

Interseting how this thread relates to alot of people. And Im just another one of these people.

My best friend at the time Tommy was on the lake in the winter(thinking it was save) and him and his cousin broke through, unforanlty Tommy didnt survive when he was under the water for 20 minutes. But is younger cousin lived only by Tommy letting him out before him.

Its hard, I know. You dont understand what to come to and dont really now what to do. Cry, stay the same. but they are in a better place and it will take awhile for every1 to get through his death but like I tell alot of people..it just takes time.

if you need to talk PM me through the site. kay?

Juls~Julie

EDIT: give your brother time he might not be ready to talk about it right away. its tough losing someone. kay? soon you will be able to bring it up.

wow.
thank you guy so much for your support.its been almost two weeks since jakes death.people are really beginning to heal.his funeral was huge.so many people were there.the night of his funeral the streets were empty.there were no teenagers about,the stores were deserted.everyone seemed to be there,supporting jake and his family.
our school is most likely building a memorial for him.and i'm sure to get in on that and helping.my brother had some stickers made that people are putting on their snowboards and cars.the healing process is really starting to happen.
and i cant thank you guys enough for your help.those nights i was upi til 2AM crying and reading the things you said.they were really worth it.thank you sooo much.
--lexie

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