could use someone to criteque my work.. will return the favor :D

Death
They say the apocolypse will save us all one day.
Life for death, and death for life our soles will pay.
Forbbiden thoughts of our after reality are secrets to stay.
For if they breech to our existence everyone will be forced to decay.
When blue skys turn grey and night turns to day we lay in our bed while hope fills my prayer.
And when our praise makes it to the heavens our feelings will dissarray.
For without evil there would be no room for the power of good to sway.
Forth and back, back and forth the tides turn as revenge leads to betray.
Judgement day will come, and all my sins will be on display.
Laying in the hands of my god, I am forced to obey.
I wan't to leave this place I will say, I want to leave and go far away.
I want to be with the ones I love, back home, even if left in misery.
God looked at me with certain dismay.
Life is like a game you must play.
It decides your strength, and how soon your seems will frey.
Your loved ones in hell will be here one day.
Unless they walk the earth like ghosts to haunt, forever there to stay.
Doomed to the paramount of the under dark, to escape I leave only one way.
If you beg for forgivness, then I will make heed to your pray!

Friends don't Leave

Just when you think that you have had enough of life.
Your friends seem to come around.
Just when you think that dying would be nice.
Your friends seem to pick you up off the ground.
Just when you think that love has a price.
You fall in love with your heart facedown.

Friends don't leave, when you need them the most.
Friends don't decieve, after you have come so close.

Friends don't believe, that you hate yourself.
Friends don't retrieve, the razor for you to cut myself.

Friends don't leave.

Just when I think I have had enough,
You are standing pounding at my door.
You say you want to come in to talk about stuff.
You wanna talk about tonight, tomarrow, and that stupid lil' whore.
I love when we make it ruff.
I have never felt like this before.
Why cant we ever get enough?
God must truly drawer.
To have made so many colors and be so tough.
And just when you think your about to score.
The cops throw me in my cuffs.
You are standing pounding at my door.
You say you want to come in to talk about stuff.

Friends don't leave, when you need them the most.
Friends don't decieve, after you have come so close.

Friends don't believe, that you hate yourself.
Friends don't retrieve, the razor for you to cut myself.

Friends don't leave.

-Satins Temptation-
Drip... drip... drip.
The blade digs to deep as my hand begins to slip.
" CAN SOMEONE GRAB SOME GAUZE ", its right by my whip.
Just take this broken razor and cut me a strip.

The dark angel of death soon spoke.
Darkness trembled through the house as I began to choke.
Death has come for you, the juggernaut said.
He will leave you broke, with a bullet inside your head.
He will provoke untill there is no more to be blood to be shed.

Satin lunged towards the juggernaut.
He screamed out " with love your soul can't be bought ".
Do my evil bidding, and your death will be stopped.
Pick up were I left off, and your sins will all be dropped.

So there I was, under corruption.
The devil by my side, I spoke up with interuption.
Satanic words came out of my mouth with certain eruption.

I do not dabble with pitty crimes.
I work for lucifer, and bunny with peoples minds.
You will most likely read about me in the newyork times.
You will read the anarchy that bleeds out of these lines

Broken

You are the one that keeps me here.
I need you to know that I love you.
Your are the one with the words I need to hear.
I need you to know what we have misconstrue.
We have spent our hole lives without a clue.

And I don't think its right,
That we should be left to be lonely.
I don't want to fight.
I just want you to hold me.

When angels cry,
Is when I need you the most.
When we leave this place to fly,
Just me and you with our hearts beating so close.

Because I'm broken,
When I can't feel you beside me.
Because I'm broken,
When you bring me to my knees.
Because I'm broken,
When we disagree.

Our wounds can't heal,
Tell we forgive.
Why does it feel so real,
The way that we try to live.

Forget about the past.
You are beauty at its best.
We are the ones who will last,
Our hearts put to the final test.

Because I'm broken,
When I can't feel you beside me.
Because I'm broken,
When you bring me to my knees.
Because I'm broken,
When we disagree.

You have great ideas, and you're poems are really good. Just keep writing. :)

i think your poetry is really good welldone :):)