how could I do this...

Over the summer, I met this amazing guy. He was perfect. And I was recovering from a really bad break up when he came into my life, so I thought this could be the right therapy for me, you know?

There was a teeny tiny problem, though. He was 20, I was 14. Nobody understood what we had. Everyone said he only wanted one thing. But they didn't know him. They couldn't judge him like that. He really did like me for who I was. He didn't judge the fact that I used to cut, and he tried to help when I was having trouble at home.

To make a long story short, I fell in love with him. And I fell hard. But it was good, because he loved me too. There wasn't a moment in the day when I didn't think about him.

Then my parents found out about this guy. They called him up and told him that if he ever contacted me again, they'd call the cops on him. So he wrote me a tearful goodbye email, and called it that.
But somehow, we started talking again...

And all over again, I fell in love.

Then school started, and my STUPID, STUPID self got caught up with an old flame. We talked, and things started moving fast. Before you know it, he's walking me to my classes and meeting my parents. I didn't feel the same way as when I was with the guy from summer, though. I still loved him, and he didn't know a thing about this other guy.

Then he finds out, and is hysterical. I broke his heart, and now there is nothing I can do. I hate myself for ruining him. He trusted me. He gave me his heart, believing I would take care of it. He was the first guy who was afraid to lose me. And I proved him wrong. I showed him how worthless I am. But he has no idea how much I love him. How much I still love him.

And there's nothing I can do to get him back. I can't talk to him, because of my parents. I can't even tell him that I'm sorry. He found out about me and this guy from another girl.

He has no idea, that breaking his heart, broke mine. And it's killing me inside...

Maybe I'm not making any sense, and maybe no one can help me, since there's not really a question...
but I just needed to get it out...

Thanks for reading...

What's the best,is that You should talk with Your parents about it..tell them how he's nice and he's not like all the others, love & age have NOTHING in common..& tell the other guy that he wasn't the only one with a broken heart..and never say "theres nothing I can do to get him back" nothing's impossible..
There's nothing i can tell You to do.. cause Your heart will tell You what to exactly do..

Good luck & don't let guy's hurt You..

-- Anna xx

I've tried talking with my parent's about it. They aren't budging with their decision. And things aren't going too well in my home life, so I wouldn't want to burden them with my problem that seems petty to theirs.
If I could talk to this guy, I'd tell him everything I've been thinking these past few days...

But thank you so much for your advice. It really means a lot to me.

"nothing's impossible" not true. have you ever tried to slam a revolving door? other than that, nothing ELSE is impossible.

yes, definately talk to your parents. pshaw. that might cause MORE problems. i know how parents work, and if they find out you went behind their backs to keep in contact withthis guy, they just might keep their word and call the cops. they are not always the most understanding of people. but really, you cant let this break you down. i'd apologize for the broken hearts, try to mend things, but really, be careful about this older guy. but then again, you should do what Anna said. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. it's usually the expert on this subject.

if you ever need to talk to someone and dont want ot post it for the world, give me an email, and i promise to help you through.

Yeah, parent's AREN'T the most understanding people. Especially when they don't want their "little girl" to grow up so fast.
This older guy, I swear to you he's not like the rest. He'd always make sure I was comfortable in situations. He never pushed me to do things I didn't want to do. He didn't do things he may have wanted to do. He knew how to control himself, and I respected that so much.

But, I have had a boyfriend do this to me. Leave me for someone else. And I never really forgave him. How could he forgive me? I don't even forgive myself...

And Ash, I'd really love to email you and everything, but my computer's down so I'm on my parents'. But thank you so much for the offer.