Funny Poem Contest

Can i reserve my chippy please?

A toilet once said…

No one believes me
I swear this is true
A toilet once said “hello”
And “How was your day?”
It won’t shut up
When I try to go poo
The toilet even scared
Me by screaming out “Boo”!

This is not good
Not good at all
It wont talk to grown ups
Not even the
Family dog.

No one believes me
But I will tell you this
He talks about his day
And that his favorite month
Is May.

Oh I can’t stand it
He won’t shut up
Every time I see him
How he wants me too stay.

Maybe if I ignore him
He will go away
A toilet that once said
“How was your day”?

Funky Monkey.

There once was a man from Brazil.
Who lived with a monkey named Bill.
The man worked him hard, and never let him rest.
But our little man Bill, knew that he was the best.

One day bill had leaped to the store.
When he got home evil was ashore.
The man yelled at him, for leaving alone.
and yet Bill could do nothing, but sit like a stone.

Bill had been punished, he was to stay locked away
and now he was angry, which was enough to say.
He bounced of the walls, and screeched into the night.
But there were no windows, and in so not a light.

All Bill had for entertainment, was a small little book.
so he picked it up and decided to look.
he tried to learn to speak, at least just a little.
so he could talk to his owner, who he thought was the devil.

whenever he'd pass by, Bill would speak for a bit
the man was surprised. still he thought it was just wit.
Bill would always be polite, never grim nor sorrow He knew he didn't want to die, becuase he was headed below.

He didn't know so many words, nor what they meant.
and since he was still locked up, at night he wept.
then the man opened the door, and he said paint this room blue.
to which our young Bill replied "Hey man Fuck You!"

ok i think i kinda went a different way with this. sorry

Lol i am working on the my chippy one, i just havent had many sparks on what to write recently, if i cant get it before Wednesday i will let you know.