Any Advice..?

So i have this boyfriend, and at first it was great, i didn't want to say yes because i had just been hurt too much in the past. But he practically begged me for two weeks, so i finally did, and everything was going really great. But then i met this other guy, and we hung out one night, and one thing led to another, and we wound up, well having sex. That was my first time too. And now, he practially wants nothing to do with me, when before the whole ordeal, he told me how much he cared about me and everything. I told my boyfriend, and he flipped and cried, but took me back.

Now, he always uses it against me. And whenever i am with a guy friend, he constantly hounds me down for answers on who he is and his whole freaking background and history. Now i know it is my fault for doing what i did, there's no denying that. But he takes it way too far, which hurts me.

And, he also is really controlling. Like, he controls where i go, who i talk to, who i'm not allowed to talk to, how long i get inbetween seeing and talking to him. And it's getting a bit pathetic. I am fed up with his crap, and i have been for awhile. Only problem is, he threatens me, like constantly. And i am scared to leave him. Lately, i've really been trying, but in the end, i can't pull myself to do it.

I need help, will someone please let me know what to do or how they would act or how i should. Anything, please !

HEY THERE.
ok um well yeah it was your fault bit harsh for me to say it sweet but you admit you know it is.. but yeah it sounds he does take it too far... umm if your in a abusive relationship you should get out of it.. its easier said than done but you will find that strength to leave deep down inside of yoou to actually get up and leave!
um if you dont want to be with him then dont be simple as.. if you dont want to sit down and talk to him then dont! um my friend was in same situation as you and she was exactly like you!! but she didnt cheat or anything!
UM but she as she was living with him few of us girls went round with her got all her stuff i went into his wk and handed him his door keys told hi mto leave her alone.. well hue didnt n he hassled her etc.. she told him to leave her alone etc en she went to police and they told her to log things down wot he did n she did he hassled her agian n he had a court junction not to go near her against him!!!!

so my point is he cant really hurt you if you actually speak to your matesa nd family to say look wanna leave him he been saying he will do this n that! i need help.. they will help you us people aint mind readers we all call out for help at some point but if we dont stand up and speak we dont get it!! so as soon as u speak to someone bout it all youll get this strenght to leave n do it right!! umm just be carefull after leaving him.. like if you walk home form anywhere maybe get you lads mates to meet you for awhil etc that what we did so we knew she was hme safe etc we wood do check in phone calls to say she there and home!

but yeah leave him coz if he is like this now n if he aint already hit you he more t6han likeyl will!
good luck hun!! hope ive helped give me a shout if you wanna talk.. (msg me n ill give u me email addy) take care yeah
xhx

You cheated on him, it's plain and simple. He doesn't trust you, because he would never have expected you to do something like that. Trust is like a crystal ball, once broken, it's hard to put it back together. He's not going to be able to get over it for a while, and what you think it taking it too far, welllet me just say... didnt you take it too far?.. I'm surprised he took you back.

Break up with him, you don't deserve him.

^ yeah but she also doesn't deserve his bullcrapp. If he took her back then of course it's gonna be hard, but thats obviously a choice to forgive her. When you forgive someone you shouldn't keep shoving it in their face. And if he's threatening you? get out of it befoe it goes further. I know it may be hard, but do it and don't ever speak to him again. He obviously doesn't care about you that much to care about your peace of mind to threaten you. Get out of it as soon as you can.

I cheated on him, yes. And i told him to forget about me the night i did it, we broke it off. Then the next day eh was calling me non-stop and saying it was going to be a bitch to get over, but we were going to work it out together. But he is not inerested in working it out it seems, it's kind of like he is holding it against me. You would have to be in my situation before you understand this, i can not explain this well.

And, i have been trying to leave him, but even if i say, i need some time apart to think about some things or whatever, he doesn't let me. He gets mad and he screams and throws fits, and i can't get out of it. I have been trying for quite some time, but i will continue trying on my own until i involve my friends or family in it. And i don't deserve him? Pretty sure i deserve not to be in a relationship like this, no matter what i did, no one deserves to be in that kind of relationship.

I completely agree with you. That's what I was trying to say before. I think you should involve some family, or even a couple of close friends. I know you don't know me that well, but if you ever want anybody to talk to I'm always here! :)

Yeah, i am working on actually getting over the fear i have and actually telling him that he is scaring me. I told him a few times, and he thought i was joking, so i have to let him know i am serious. I will try tonight when i talk to him. And my parents, if i told them, would find it hard to believe me, they love him! But i have told my closest friend, and she said she is there and she will help me.

Thanks dear, i really appreciate it, it is nice to know someone agrees and understands. And if i ever need to talk to someone, i will for sure talk to you. =)

Show him that you suffer when he uses your fault.

Say that it was something bad of you but your relationship can never get back to level before it happened and he cant want that.

Tell him that you talked with other girls and they told you that 'a boy who really forgave you and loves you' wouldnt use this against you.

Try to turn the situation around. When he remembers you to your fault again, make a sad face, make yourself rare, look depressed...

Make your reaction to what he does with you uncomfortable for him then he will stop doing it!

About the mistrust and controlling... This needs time but it will get better again when you show him that he is your only one.

Thanks for the advice, i will try.

don't forget to tell us how it ended? up?

I will tell you. I talkde to him about considerign a break, and he said no, so i am going to have to say break up i guess. I will do that in a few days when i'm back frmo camping.

i dont know if he has a violent temper. but please be careful. guys get this crazy idea in their head that they control you. ive been there. and even though ive never been hit, i have had friends who have. so please if you feel in danger. do whats in your best interest. i cant stand violence, especially towarsd a girl.

He can get violent. It has never come down to him actually hitting me yet. But he gets really controlling over when he sees me talking to any guy, he starts threatening them and hits them and stuff. It is quite annoying because i can't do anything or go anywhere without having someones ass get kicked or someone being threatened. But yeah, i have friends who have as well. Thanks for your feedback. =)

OMG I care about you too much to go through this. Please, break up with him as soon as you can!!! I cannot stress it enough~ i want to fly down there and kick his butt~!

^your so sweet you really care bout her
*but yea you really need to becareful I was watching tyra and dis guy and girl where in the same situation but in the end which might be a good ending and a sulution for you is to go to COUNCILING try it but idk i guess ALL DIS PEOPLE ARE RIGHT

*GET OUT OF THE PROBLEM THE SITUATION FAST
before something really badly hapens ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

much love,
*boricuabeba*