Much like suffacation (relationship troubles)

Ok, I am really pissed off. I am sorry if this is a bit long..but I do need to vent and I am hoping to get some advice. Ok so I have a boyfriend who lives in Canada and this girl who is his "sister" (they aren't biological) who is sorta my friend as of a few months ago. Well they are reallyclsoe to eatch other because they've known eatch other longer and all and well ever since we've gotten together she has kind of...gotten all controlling. He told her to keep an eye on me and to give him updates on what I've done during the day (the tell eatch other everything) and it's really annoying. If I do something she thinks is stupid (like wanting to be alone or wanting to cut myself) she will slap me. Honestly..it's driving me insane and she is one of those people where I know we are friends but we never really talk and I don't want to tell her to back off because I don't want to lose her and besides..if sh get's mad at me so will my bf..

We were talking on AIM earlier and I told her I didn't want to go back to school, but to go to another school so she asked why and I told her that I wanted to get away...I mean it wouldn't be easy switching (I want to go to a boarding school) but I think that if I can get away from the same old people and start a new life somewhere else then I can allow myself to change. I think that missing the people I love most while wanting to be away from them will help me love them more. I admit that I am quite self centered but I think that if I don't see them as much then I will miss them and appreciate them more when I do. So she starts to say things like "banking your whole F-ing life to try and change your personality is stupid and childish. It has never worked for me or anyone else". I dunno..it really feels like she has me on a leash...and I'm not even really close to her! She knows a lot about me but I know nothing of her and grr..I am really mad about this whole thing. I'm going out with HIM not HER....aren't I?

Does anyone have any advice? I mean. I am mnot affraid to stand up to someone and tell them to back off but with her..it's really weird..I just can't do it

I can understand where you're coming from to an extend. To the going away to change thing, it may be a good idea depending on your situation and it may change you a little bit for a little while, but where you are now is obviously who you are and if you go away and come back you'll probubly change back into the same person. Maybe I'm wrong about that, it really depends on the situation, but it depends on the situation. If you want to change then I suggest you try something different, or maybe even go on a trip to 'find yourself'. I wouldn't call you self-centered. i feel the same way sometimes (or maybe I'm self-centered, too) because it's normal for you want to be loved by your family. I'm originally from Newfoundland although I'm living in Alberta, and I went home this summer but I don't want to go back for a long time because i feel that people are getting sick of me and don't love me the same as when I come back after a few years. I know that seems really strange, especially talking about family, but I guess you gotta go through it to know it =)

Anyways. About the boyfriend. I can't really give a lot of advice on this one, but I'm pretty sure that you are dating HIM and NOT HER. Maybe he meant for her to look out for you so that nothing bad happens to you, but if he meant it to be possesive and scared that you might cheat on him, then he doesn;t trust you and you definately need to talk to him about it. It's ok for brothers and sisters to talk about relationships and stuff, and I know thats not what you mean, but I'm just saying that if he's only going to talk to her and tell her everything that's going on, there's gotta be some boundaries set. Either by you or him. Maybe since you're not that close to his sister that you shouldn't tell her certain things because it'll just get back to him. Especially personal stuff that they might take as 'bad' or whatever (for lack of a better word).

I hope that helps somewhat lol.

Take Care and God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

I think you should just tell this girl off. Who cares if it's his sister? She shouldn't be controlling you. Just because you're going out with her brother doesn't mean that she can talk to you like that and try to control your life. Also, talk to your boyfriend about it. She's got to stop doing that. It's not right. This is the nice version... if it was me, I'd probably kick the girl's butt.... especially if she slapped me. lol. But seriously, talk to them... Maybe try talking to them together, that way there are no "loose ends" that can get misconstrued when they talk together.

~BJ~

Oh yeah, about the cutting, she's probubly just doing that because she cares about you (yes, believe it) and doesn't want you to do that stuff. When my friends talk about doing that stuff, I tell them that I'll slap them too, which doesn't always work and I haven't had to do it yet, but ya know. It's just a sign that she cares.. as much as it may hurt lol.

be there for her.