humorous poetry contest

ok well this is my first contest so far!! i hope the first of many!!

heres what you have to do, id like you to write a funny poem or a poem about the funny things in life!!

this is just a simple contest for me to try and get some inspration from you all!! and maybe you can make me smile at the same time!!

i will pick 1 winner and 2 runner ups i will r/r/c the winnes x10 and runner upsx6

No food in the fridge
Time to go shopping
For some chips and dips
As our popcorn is popping

Let's pick up a movie
A hamburger too
Possibly some fries
What can some carbs do

We'll eat over and over
Drown ourself in pop
Dip into cheesy chips again
Our addiction can't stop

Some Cheeto's sound good
Chocolate bars too
Let's get some more candy
Let it all go through

Pop, dip, dunk, lick
Ecstasy in food
We eat what we want
Depending on our mood

Not caring about the carbs
Not caring that I'm fat
These food drive me crazy
And that is that

hehe great poem=D anybody else?!

When Wishin' In Ireland
By: Twisted Heart

Be careful what you wish for
when you find a leprechaun;
because it is his duty
to make sure that wish goes wrong.
Take sweet, old Mr. Finny
wished for knowledge beyond belief;
now he is a master
at the art of philosophy.
He argues all the time with those
who think that he is wrong;
all because he went and found
a little leprechaun.
Elsa was a homely girl
just a lass at twenty;
wished for love to come her way
now she's cursed with plenty.
The lads come knocking day and night
she never gets relief;
all because of the leprechaun
she found hiding in a tree.
And there's Ms. O'Malley
who wished wealth would come her way;
but now all of her servants
are stealing every day.
Their hands stretched out each morning
but when the day is spent;
they take all they can carry
from her pantry, house, and mint.
So if you come upon one
please to these words take heed;
throw a rock in his direction
and hope that he will flee.
Don't give him satisfaction
of laughing at your back;
grab him hard with both hands
and kick his little a**!

lol!! great poem especially te end! very funny!

Need more though people

By Mitchell~ Tiny Little Mushrooms

Tiny little mushrooms surround my feet,
Then I spotted a big one that i made my seat...

Tiny little mushrooms all in my lap,
I ate them and ate them while on this cap...

Tiny little mushrooms in the sky,
You can only try one of those if you can fly...

Tiny little mushrooms fill up my tummy,
Damn! how this fungus is so scrumptious and yummy...

Tiny little mushrooms STILL in the sky,
Luckily enough, I can now fly...

Tiny little mushrooms floating my way,
I never thought I'd be in "little big land" today...

Tiny little mushrooms arent so small,
That green one there, is outrageously tall...

Tiny little mushrooms start fading away,
Ok, I am done, I ate enough fungus for one day...

Thnks comments appreciated

Alright, this is a true story, it happend to a friend of a friend of mine and by no means did it happen to me....OKAY FINE i'll admit im the retard in this poem...I hope you enjoy, and please be aware That i didn't really put any effort in this poem so its kinda a story that rhymes nothing special...just funny hopefully.

A Drunken Night (true story)

26 bottle of beer on the ground,
I took them down and swallowed them up
And ten minutes later I peed in a cup,
I gave it to my friend, told him it was good,
Little did I know, he switched my drink
So I drank my urine for I couldn't think!
Boy was I pissed! I just drank pee!
But later that night, I got my revenge,
I stared at my bench; it was staring at me,
Laughing at me for drinking my pee,
I was full of rage, and loaded with beer,
I lifted the bench without a fear,
Hurled it away, as if It were meant,
To land inside my good friend's tent
I ran away, I ran so far,
I trip on a tree, I fell on a car,
I blame my house, it was hiding again,
40 feet wide was not wide enough,
It really hid good, But even back then,
I was wise and witty, clever and keen,
I found that house, I found the unseen,
I found my room and fought with the door,
Found my bed, but slept on the floor,
And when I woke, I was just fine
A tiny little headache, but I couldn't wine,
For I was 17 with a lesson just learnt,
That beer is bad, but urine is worst

Bunnies and Rabbits

By: David Marshall

Bunnies and rabbits hop up the hill.

Which little bunny should I kill?

There's a bunny thats brown,

and a bunny with one ear.

The first one I drown,

while the other hops in fear.

I chase him down,

and cut off his legs.

He bleeds to death as he begs.

Now there's bunnies and rabbits on my grill.

Where's the next rabbit i should kill?

lol might be a lil demented but i thought it was pretty funny.