Is he too Old?

I really like this guy and he is 8 years older than me. I don't really understand why this is happening to me....I just got out of my first real relationship with this clingy guy(that is why I broke up with him) and I was all ready to avoid men for a really long time...the relationship I had just pissed me off. But then my friends brother (he and I have had an email correspondance since last fall and I met him this spring for the first time) made me totally fall in love with him a few weeks ago. We were at this bonfire party and I noticed that he and his sister(my friend) were stargazing so they invited me to join them...we later went down and stargazed at this creek alone...just talking about life.. It was the best conversation of my life. I suddenly realized that he would be the perfect guy for me...I could do all the things that I had dreamed of with him (like travel to Europe). The more I hang out with him, the more he helps me be who I am and who I have avoided being for the longest time..like connecting with nature again..stargazing...hiking..It is all wonderful except for one thing that really scares me...our age difference...I am 16 turning 17 and he is 24 turning 25. He seems to like me too, but why would he even like a 16 year old? There are plenty of great women who are in their twenties out there...it's almost pedophilistic to me...except that he not like that(a pedophile I mean). I'm just really confused and would love to hear some other stories that are simular to mine or some advice...
~ Mercedes~

The guy I really like is ten years older than I am and at first I thought it was weird not because I thought he was a pedophile, he's far from it, but because I didn't know if it was right for me to even like him. I was his editor, working for free on some short things he sent me, but over time we became strong friends. I know he likes me, he's told me, but I can tell he might be scared of it. He told me that his dad liked me from me speaking to him on the phone, and that his dad never really likes anyone my friend likes. The thing is that his parents think I'm around 18/19. My mom is fine with me liking him and him liking. I know he's not into a sexual relationship which is good for if me and him ever do date, a lot better tha I can say from some of the boys I've talked to.

Listen to what your feelings tell you. Not every older guy wants one thing.

thanks for writing this...you've made me feel so much better...this guy is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me...I want to make this last but I don't want to make any mistakes....and it's true that it is easier to have a relationship with someone older because they are mature.... I need to talk to him about this.. and my feelings...I'm just a little afraid that he might not like me the same way I like him but from his behavior...I think that he does like me.. so it gives me hope....good luck with your guy! and thanks for posting this!

Me and My boyfriends age difference it as much as your guy's but it still quite alot.. Im mature for my age im 15 and hes 20 .. We've been together for 5 months.. and are very happy together :).. So no i dont think that age gap is to much.. just tell him how you feel.. cross your fingers.. and i bet you find out he feels the same... and if he doesn't there is other fish in the sea.. even if it doesnt seem like that at first..

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

You guys may feel mature for your age, but I think it's best that you wait. You guys both may be 'mature' but you're still at different times in your life. if it's meant to be it will happen sooner or later, but for now live your life to the best of your ability.

If you're talking about me Angelina, I wasn't judging. I admit it would be nice to date an older guy. But the poster was asking for opinions and I gave her mine. I don't judge people based on their boyfriends/love life/whatever. That would be a stupid waste of time.

I generally just say follow your heart on all things. That's all I'm going to say.

My boyfriend is only three years older than me, so it isn't that big of an age difference. However, my friend was 16 and had a 28 year old boyfriend. He just used her for sex though and she found out so she broke up with him. My other friend is also 16 and has a boyfriend who is 26, They've been dating coming on 2 years now. I am not one to judge, I would just go with what I thought best. But I would spend more time with him as friends first and then see how things go from there.
Please be careful.

-Jenna.

Age shouldnt matter. My parents are 12 in a half years away from each other and there relationship was fine until my mom cheated but anyways. IT depends on how you feel about them.

Courtsey

I don't think age matters so much it's just about the timing.

do u realy think its luv tell me what u like about him u also need to think are u ready to let some one join ur life. im totally for older guys my boy is 21 and im 16 but i had to come to terms with he has a life of his own and is willing to drop me any second so i continue my life as well so if that happens im not left wondering y, im still able to get on with my life just think long and hard about ituse ur mind in the end ull know

be honest with ur self

how old r u and how old is he?

I am 16 and he is 24

Thanks everyone for your feedback and support. I really appreciate it. I just needed a new look at things and you don't know how much all of your comments have inspired and helped me!
~Mercedes~

Okay, i'm going to be honest and tell you to wait. You're still young, and at being with a guy that much older is going a little too far. You may be mature for your age, but it doesn't matter. I think a two or three year age difference is fine, but higher than that is just absurd, unless you're an adult. In many situations an older guy likes to take advantage of younger girls. Now i'm not your parent, and i know people may disagree, but just think about it. Waiting a few years would be best, in my opinion.

OK, sarah

There is no way you can be mature at that age. Ok, appearance-wise because you've passed puberty, kudos to you for that, but you are no where near mature. Get a job, have some adult-like responsibilities, and then maybe you're on your way to being mature. Learn to write properly, get a proper education for goodness sakes. Being mature is acting your age, not pretending to be older to be more sophisticated. There are a lot of older guys that prey on younger girls, because they think they are mature, but really, if you think about it, they're stupid.

You've been in a relationships since you were 12. Would you know the difference of a meaningful relationship and a fake relationship if it came your way. No, you wouldn't. Why? Because you gave yourself to too many guys and now you don't know which one meant it and which one didn't. That is why people start dating in their late teens, not early teens.

As for the topic poster. There are some older guys out there that are cool and they seem liek a good FRIEND. But I'm sure you don't have to find a 24 year old guy to have a good relationship.

Sarah, Darien had a good point however it seemed rude. It was a good point where you wouldn't know the difference at that age. That point is true. And I am not judging you, so don't hassle me for judging you when you read this, but it is a very true point.

-Jenna.

I am rude, like it or not. It's my opinion and I stick by it. I don't need to know you to know your problems. I can judge them for myself based on your own opinions and based on what you have said.

And saying I need to grow up, oh well, that's very adult like.

Yes, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. And this thread, is in fact, not about you; good point. But in threads, the focus is sometimes switched and turned to another person. It happens. We just got to deal with it.

-Jenna.

I believe it has to do with the person, not the age. You shouldnt shop yourself from loving someone because of their age, but you should be careful because there are those nasty, older men out there that like to manipulate younger years, but not all of them are like that. You have to intrepret what his true intetions are, and hope you are right.

never let age interfere with the course that love takes you.

Age is just a pointless number hun.If anyone gives you sh*t about liking him tell them to eff off.

X3Grace

It's your life. Do what you feel is right. I tend to fall for older men (25 and such), but I've never gone through with it because I realize that it probably won't work out. They're older. I'm not so sure if the "they're also wiser" phrase should be said because honestly, I think it's bollocks. But seriously, they're just older. That should be enough. Wait until you're 25, and they're in their 30's/40's/whatever. Not so hott anymore, are they? And just think, they're more likely to die on you. >.< But like I said, do what you think is right.

And if you don't want the honest opinions of those such as Darian, myself, or anyone else, then don't ask.

Darien*, sorry.

I feel age shouldn't matter if you are in love.

You're 16, and he's 8 years older. What the hell is wrong with guys that are closer to your own age? I admit, i have had "crushes" on older guys, but i would never get involved with one. You're still young. You really need to think before you make a stupid decision.

It's because those people are not very open minded and never look at things differently. It's even worst when they have no experience what so ever, they basically follow what they believe is right. When really, they don't even have the slightest clue. Sad huh?..

Ang: Mall?

this is to Acid Tears....yeah I know what you mean about how age looks right now...that is why I am just going to be friends with him right now and decided(if we are still friends) in a couple of years if we want a relationship.....
And thanks to everybody else for all their comments....I have read each one and taken them all into consideration..Thanks a million.
Peace

Also, I wrote a poem today...I was really inspired by this song Breathe by I think Alanis Morrisette, and I just wrote my heart out about the guy that I like. If you have the time, I'd love it if anyone read it.
Have a fantastic day!
Mercedes

Whats wrong with the guys our age? Alot. I think id be more likley to get hurt or played with a guy my age.

Obviously.. how many relationships last a lifetime starting at the age of 16?.. Actually, how many relaitonships last at all?.. only 50% according to the divorce rate..

I agree that age is just a number, why should you care what other people think of you? I am seeing a guy that is 10 years older than me. I am 17 bout to be 18 and he is 27 bout to be 28. Judge me if you feel the need, but we have so much fun together, and we are both really happy. I couldn't care less what other people think of us.

Woohoo, Angelina... that sounds like a plan :)

No offense jackie, but that's sad.
You're in high school, and he's working. That sounds really disturbing. Maybe if you were older, and were still 10 years apart, it would be somewhat acceptable. Yeah, I'm judging you, because I don't know you, but I don't need to.

maybe u shouldn't be so quick to judge if you dont kno the facts. i work 45 hours a week and i attend college classes. (i graduated early) like i said, we are very happy together and it doesnt bother me that a few people disagree with our relationship.

age is just a number buyt 8 yrs old is a big difference

Dont let the judgement of others affect you and your relationship. If it wouldnt matter in 2 years why should it matter now? If your feelings are strong enough you can get through it. You cannot help who you love, or if you happen to meet the love of your life earlier then was intended...if you believe in that sort of thing. And when you are posting to this topic, telling about your relationship with an older guy is not going to help your case. Saying facts and how you feel will.

I think the point i want to make is that age CAN matter, but it doesnt have to depending on if you are truely meant to be together

Sometimes I am afraid of following my heart...I rushed my last relationship and then I broke up with him...it almost made no sense. So now, I don't want to make any mistakes but life is so unpredictable I'm afraid that I might miss this one chance at happiness. I'm just so happy to have him in my life. I've never felt this way about any guy before. But his age does scare me a bit when I think about it but when we're together hanging out and talking it just feels so right. Nothing in my life has felt so right until now. It is almost like I knew him in another lifetime. I just want to gather up the courage and ask him what he thinks of me and tell him how I truly feel. I don't want to date him right now, I want to wait until I'm at least 19 or 20 if I still like him then. By that time I will be mature enough to make a decision...for now I just need to do some growing up.
And I want to thank everybody who's posted a comment on here. I come on here everyday and read your posts. They keep me hopeful and I've learned a bit more about myself through posting this. Thank you all very much.
M.

hey hun...i thinkk if u r inlove go for it..age shouldnt matter:) goodluck gorjuzz xoxo