I'll lose him

It scared me to death last night, to even think that I may lose him. Its not him, its me and thats whats killing me inside.

I can't admit it, but I've fallen for him. BIG time.
He's the first guy ever who's been so caring, nice so who respects me.

Normally, no matter how long I had been dating a guy, as soon as we were alone, there hands would want to roam everywhere, which I didn't like, but with him, he never. We just hugged and kissed. And even when he accidentally touched my boob, he said sorry loads of times ha.

I have trust issues. Thats the problem and it will destory us if I don't sort it out. I really want to be with him and he makes me so happy. I trust him going away with his friends, but I have issues with letting someone get close, and trusting them not to use and hurt me, because thats all I've ever felt.

He's told me, I need to get over it. We haven't slept with each other and its been 6 weeks, I'm very proud that we haven't rushed, but we both feel like we can't move on until I've got over my issues. And I'm afraid I'll lose him.

What can I do? He thinks that I havemt slept with him because I don't like him enough, but I do. I'm 18, i'm not some 15 year old girl who thinks sex is the answer to everything. I know what its all about and I want to have sex with him, I do. But everytime he gets near and we get caught up in the moment, I just don't let it happen.

We havent rushed, no really. I don't think we have. We are both mature, older.

My friend saw that I was upset and started bitching, saying he was a player and just after sex, but he could have just pushed me into it, I've been drunk alone with him before and I've been in situations where I got taken advantage of and just I want the next time to be with someone I really like. I want it to happen, because I want it to not because I gave in. I want it to be perfect. And now my friend has upset me, by saying this, as for once I don't want to hear it, I've had enough of players, and guys using. And when I finally find a guy, who's not, she comes out with this. Grrr

Rant over. Any advice would be nice.

hey, i am not sure if i can help you or not. but i can sure try. have you talked to him about this? you know you like him so much; you just dont want to do it and have him leave you. if he likes you enough then he will wait for you until you are ready. i know how most guys are too. i have been through some rough ones. if you like him enough then tell him how you feel about things. see what he says. be careful. i hope i helped you out some.