The Sickness Inside

I think that I'm evolving into something above and below being human. My whole body feels cold and new, like some sort of revived cadaver. My heart beats, but its decisions only cause pain in the end. I'm self-destructive and on top of it I've become a narcotic, a fatal attraction, like an addiction that can't be quit. Is it narcissism or is it the truth? Am I self-centered prick or just a lost soul? I can't draw the line between conceited nature and truth. Why do I continuously lay waste to love, yet crave it so dearly and still try to hold on to the shards of the broken vase no matter how deep they cut. I can't let go, but I already have. What does it mean? What can I do? I'll explain later.

I would help you if I knew more about the situation that you are in. It seems rather serious, and I don't want to be the one to offer some kind friendly advice to maybe bring a smile to your face when it might be something more that you need to help you. So I don't know how I can help you until I know more. And you did say that you would explain later, so maybe just wait for that?

-Jenna.

Umm....

Fallen. My thoughts are that you are over analytical of yourself. Focus on others or other things more and freedom will come.

Answering all questions asked based on the little information given:

1) It's just the truth, as of right now. I don't know, I don't completely understand what you're trying to say, but we'll assume it's not narcissism.
2) A lost soul... Again, I don't know, but by the way you're expressing yourself, it seems that you're simply lost within yourself.
3) I cannot help with the question of love and loving love. I know nothing of it.
4) Only you can figure out what it means.
5) You can simply try to find yourself, find what makes this 'sickness inside'.